Thursday, September 17, 2009

You're Over the Hill

Theme Thursday is upon us. This week's theme is "Over the Hill". We'll go with a little story...

“I’m here for the heavy construction job, where do I need to go?”


“You’re over the hill,” replied the employment assistant in a dead-pan tone as he went about reorganizing the little collection of robots on his desk.

“I’m over the hill? Why that’s age discrimination! Look you twerp, I may be 45 but I did four sub three hour marathons last year. I’m in plenty good shape for the job.”

“You’re over the hill,” he repeated, rolling his eyes at the mere insidiousness of somebody approaching him twice in a row.

“Now listen, I’m not going to take No for an answer. Why I can do 300 pushups right here if you’d like proof. I can even bench press this teenager.”

He suddenly grabs a lanky teen waiting in line and bench presses him over his head like a wiggling branch of wood.

“Hey, put me down,” cries the teenager struggling, “I’m a teen…I’ve got enough self confidence issues without having you bench press me.”

Placing the teenager back on his feet and into the line, he goes back up to the desk for a third time. “I want that position!”

“Sir, I don’t know how to be more direct. You’re over the hill!”

“That’s it. I’ve HAD IT with this place. You’re all a bunch of inconsiderate idiots!” he screams at the top of his lungs as he barges his way out onto the sun-drenched pavement in front of the employment office.

Writhing in anger, he needs a release; an immediate difficult release of energy. Spying the street heading up steeply, he begins to run a full speed. The road up the hill is indeed steep and after several minutes he’s forced to slow down his pace in order to catch his breath.

He peaks the hilltop and then begins a steep descent down the other side. As the hillside slowly levels out again, he approaches a large construction company. The sign at the gate says “Yore Construction Company.”

Suddenly he stops in the utter embarrassment in his realization: The man at the employment agency wasn’t telling him “You’re over the hill” as in too old, he was telling him “Yore, over the hill” as in the Yore Construction Company is just over the hill, go see them.

55 comments:

California Girl said...

Hahahahhaaha!

Another funny story. LOVE THIS!

I feel sorry for that teen though.

Anne said...

i could see the punch line coming.

and, as i've already discussed this week, i'm not even middle-aged yet, so no hill for me.

Beth said...

Well done. So much of what we hear is what we expect to hear.
I probably would have heard “you’re over the hill” too.
I am now on the alert re: any company whose name starts with Yore and that happens to be located over the hill. ;)

lifeshighway said...

Poor wiggling branch teen... he went through the modern day experience of having sand kicked in his face.

Great story

The Incredible Woody said...

Damn, I hate it when people bench press me;)

Brian Miller said...

i saw this one coming a bit too...but i always love a good benchpressing...lol.

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

He's not very bright.

VE said...

california girl - It's all part of being a teen!

VE said...

anne - Yes, the hill is all relative!

VE said...

beth - I wonder if there are any?

VE said...

lifeshighway - Branch teens are people too!

VE said...

incredible woody - It is hard to look cool when that happens

VE said...

brian - Yes, the punchline was too hard to disguise...not a lot of wiggle room with the story.

VE said...

perpetual chocoholic - Welcome to the new age of stupid!

Kanrei said...

That was funny. Original or did you hear it somewhere?

nonamedufus said...

Ha, and now those that read your post are over the hill too! Clever VE.

Elizabeth said...

What is officially "over the hill"? 40, 45, 50?? How about we say 50. Ya, I like that, gives me a few more years.

Kurt said...

But, FYI, you are over the hill.

VE said...

kanrei - Oh no, not only is it my own original but I create it spontaneously from the moment I first get the theme. I like the challenge of it.

VE said...

nonamedufus - Yes they are! The gnomes are laughing...

VE said...

elizabeth - Don't let the hill end...it leads right up to heaven

VE said...

kurt - Perhaps I am simply further around the circle than you...

ReformingGeek said...

Good one, VE.

So what are you saying? That you can do a marathon in under 3 hours....or you could when you weren't over the hill?

;-)

Dreamhaven said...

wonderfully funny. Geat TT post

Dakota Bear said...

Funny story.

lime said...

who's on 1st?

Jill said...

Oh....now...that was funny!

Wings said...

Hah!!!

Quirkyloon said...

Barum bum!

Are you here all week?

hee hee

Tom said...

i wanted him to snap something in half and tear it to shreds with his teeth! Getting a good job would just interfere with his marathon training schedule, better if he stays unemployed.

Gladys said...

Loved it!

Now who do I see about the Blough Job?

Baino said...

Funny fecker . . I knew there'd be some silly pun in there but didn't see it coming.

VE said...

reforminggeek - Actually, I've done a couple of them in under 3 hours...one at 2:47. But you are right, that was when I was much younger. I did return to running when I tried duathlons back in the early 90s. I went from no running in 17 years to running 6:15 miles in only 6 months. Scary. I actually do run but don't compete anymore.

VE said...

dreamhaven - Thansk

dakota bear - Thanks

lime - That is sort of similar. Ah...nothing is really original, is it?

VE said...

wings - Thanks

quirkyloon - You mean physically on this chair at this computer. No, I keep mobile for safety reasons. You never know when somebody might be following you...

VE said...

Tom - Here, here. I'm all for early retirement. That's why this story is called 'fiction'...

glady - Ha! I'm sure there are plenty hiring for that!

baino - If its silly, its here. I blame the gnomes...

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

Better over than under the hill.

Ronda Laveen said...

Yore funny!

The Peach Tart said...

very witty

Harnett-Hargrove said...

Touchy fellow... -J

Janna said...

See, if it had been me, I wouldn't even have argued.

I'd act like a lightbulb lit right above my head, and said
"Wow... you're right. I AM over the hill. Why the heck am I working at a dump like this? I should be sitting on the sofa at home, eating bonbons with a purring cat in my lap, while my computer-whiz friends steal your identity and deposit your life savings in my swiss bank account. Hey, I wonder what's on TV right now!"

If the store doesn't have bonbons, Twinkies will be ok too.

Serena said...

LOL. They do say cognition goes downhill when you're over the hill.:)

Megan said...

Bravo!

Not For Jellyfish said...

“I’m a teen…I’ve got enough self confidence issues without having you bench press me.”

Awesome line! Can't... Stop... Laughing...

Very enjoyable! Thank you!

subtorp77 said...

Bwahahahahahahaaa! "You're", "Yore"! Well done, VE!

VE said...

MikeMJ - Ha! Ain't that the truth!

ronda - Yore just glad I wrote a story!

peach tart - I've been called whitey before...but not witty...

harnett-hargrove - That's why it's fiction...all that over a job. Sheesh...

janna - I should have been Swiss...they get all the money.

serena - Of course, some of us never bought the stuff in the first place.

megan - I have that station; I never watch it...

not for jellyfish - I had to throw in something else for comic relief...guess that worked

subtorp77 - It's part of my Yore Lore Dr. Suess ripoff series...

mama-face said...

I feel for that one hook line and sinker. Guess I am way too aware of being over the hill. sigh.

Jeff said...

Groannnnn... ;-)

Hey, I knew Captain Kangaroo was going to win your poll. It was no contest.

VE said...

mama-face - Well I at least got one of you. I didn't have a lot of wiggle room to mask the punch line with this one.

jeff - It was close there for awhile. I'm sure Mr. Greenjeans made all the difference...

Mrsupole said...

Yore over the hill was great and I knew that he should be over the hill. To be over the hill one needs to be over 100 at least. So very few make it to over the hill.

Great story, thanks.

God bless.

VE said...

mrsupole - Hopefully I'll make it over; who would take care of the gnomes otherwise?

Jaime said...

ha! very cute

VE said...

jaime - There you go with the cute comments again...you're killin' me! ;)

Maureen said...

You need to hire a drummer to do a riff after these punchlines...
ba-dum-bum-CHING!

VE said...

maureen - Yeah...it's hard to write themed humor stories impromptu on a given subject without some sort of punch line.