Sunday, October 18, 2009

Another Incredible Adventure with the Public Relations Man

Remember our last adventures with the public relations person? You can review here

That seemed pretty incredible. Let’s visit another incredible scenario. Even the most famous song writers struggle from time to time; well, perhaps not Dylan, but most.

The scene is 1966 and Paul Simon is under intense pressure to put out a hit song. He gets referred to the public relation man for assistance…

Paul: Here’s the song, it’s called Scarborough Fair.

PR Man: You realize that’s a folk song hundreds of years old, don’t you?

Paul: Yeah, but most people don’t. I added a bit here and cut out a lot there…

PR Man: You realize most people don’t know where Scarborough is. They’re gonna think there’s a new burrough in New York.

Paul: It adds to the mystery of the 60s.

PR Man: Ok, we’ll go with that. Let’s see the first part of lyrics:

Are you goin to scarborough fair?
parsley, paprika, sage, dill weed, corainder, rosemary, ginger and thyme
Remember me to one who lives there, she once was a true love of mine

PR Man: Whoa, I see you’ve added a whole lot of spices in there and throughout each verse.

Paul: Hey, I didn’t write the original and I don’t have the time to replace those lines so I added to it a bit. You must realize...more of my hair is falling out every single day. I’ve only got so much time to attract the ladies until I get famous.

PR Man: I mean really, Paul, dill weed? Maybe you should lay off the weed…

Paul: Ok, so we drop the dill weed.

PR Man: Do you even know what they use corainder for?

Paul: No, but it sounds cool

PR Man: It’s a garnish for chutney. Do you even know what Chutney is?

Paul: No, but it sounds very English and The Beatles are English so it can’t hurt.

PR Man: It does, remove it. Now what about Ginger?

Paul: I knew a girl named Ginger back when I had more hair.

PR Man: So does everybody. She’s on Gilligan’s Island. You want this piece of poetry to be associated with Gilligan’s Island?

Paul: Perhaps not. I’ll remove it.

PR Man: Good. Let’s see, I’m thinking paprika isn’t rolling off the tongue well. Reminds me of pap smear and that's probably not a good musical focus.

Paul: Errr…ok, gone. Hey, wait, it’s back to the original Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme.

PR Man: Never mess with a classic. I suggest you name the album the same. Classics are classic. There’s also a bunch of crap lyrical references in here that nobody will relate to.

Paul: Like what?

PR Man: Well, cambric shirt. Polo shirt: maybe. Cambric: doubtful. Then there’s the reference to a sickle of leather. You’re gonna piss off the sickle cell anemia society. Let me hear you sing the song though.

Paul sings the song

PR Man: Excellent. Just as I thought; nobody’s going to understand the lyrics anyway. They’ll make up their own replacement for those words. I think we’re done here. I’ll forward this song along to a colleague of mine shooting a little comedy called “The Graduate.” Though your songs have no tie to the theme of the movie, he needs some songs nonetheless. It might help your career. You can leave your check on your way out.

35 comments:

Chris C said...

Chutney has more than one meaning. I'll leave it at that hehe.

VE said...

chris - Crap...I had to go look it up. Are you referring to the gay farmer or the cigarette?

Gladys said...

I always knew there were more words to that song. Crap now I feel like I need to go to a renaissance fair

Quirkyloon said...

Me? I prefer the George Lopez version.

"Parsley, sage, jalapenos and thyme."

Ha!

ryan field said...

I had to google this one :)

The Incredible Woody said...

I had always assumed he was just really stoned when he came up with that song.

VE said...

gladys - What's fair is fair...

VE said...

quirkyloon - I should have known! That'll really add some spice to the song...

VE said...

ryan - Funny...I started the idea thinking what an arbritrary but eclectic list of spices to add to the lines of the song and it might be funny to play with a script that started out with using a lot more spices and having to pair that down. I thought Paul Simon had written the song himself; until I googled it too. Amazing as always; the more I think I know, the less I realize I do.

VE said...

incredible woody - Perhaps too much dill weed? Yeah, I thought he wrote it too. Read my reply to Ryan and you'll get my inception of the comedy bit...

Elizabeth said...

LOL, very funny. I never did liked that song.

ReformingGeek said...

No.

That's right. I'm NOT going to Scarborough Fair, even though they have one 50 miles south of the D/FW area every year.

Coriander is some serious stuff. I use it in Green Chile Sauce. Just a wee bit goes a long way.

VE said...

elizabeth - Guess he should have kept the ginger in it then...

VE said...

reforminggeek - That's why they had to take it out...too strong for 60s pop...

Serena said...

I always wondered how that song ever got sold.

VE said...

serena - Now you know...the PR man does it again

Mrsupole said...

Yes, that weed, oops I mean dill weed makes it hard to get any work done. I wonder how he even researched and found this song. I think he got this in the mail by accident. It was mailed to his address a few hundred years ago and the postman finally found it hiding between the wall and a desk. They then finally mailed it, and Paul just happened to be the lucky recipient.

And wasn't he once married to Princess Leia. Somehow you like to connect to Star Wars, even subconsciously. Or is it the Spice Girls that you are connected to. Hmmmm, gotta think on this one.

God bless.

Roy Scribner said...

That brings back some childhood memories - mom was big Simon & Garfunkel freak. What did Garfunkel do, anyway? Whas he the PR man?

lifeshighway said...

Guess what? I got a fever! And the only prescription.. is more dillweed!

Uncivil said...

Makes me want to smoke some medical Mary Jane!!!!!

Janna said...

I like Scarborough Fair.
I'd like it even more if he left the paprika in it.
And maybe some hot chili powder and cayenne.

Sandi said...

I'm not first again.

VE said...

mrsupole - All things are connected to Star Wars...of course!

VE said...

roy - Yes, Garfunkel just provided the impossible lyrical range that Paul didn't have.

VE said...

lifeshighway - Now I have the song "The Fever" stuck in my head. Thanks!

VE said...

uncivil - I'm going to have a medical fruity rum drink instead...

VE said...

janna - You're looking for the "hot stuff"

VE said...

sandi - You have amazing skill!

Nessa said...

I had no idea what the words to that song were. Thanks for clearing them up.

VE said...

nessa - Always here to educate you on the subleties of nonsense...

mama-face said...

bahahaha...paprika; pap smear.

Never did like that song. But now it's gonna be running through my mind all day. Thanks.

VE said...

mama-face - You think this earworm is bad...just wait for the weekend and early next week. I've got some doozies to ruin you with...

Jaime said...

all those spices are making me hungry. damn.

VE said...

jaime - Time for some soup...

subby said...

This reminds me...more paul Simon parodies? wink, wink, nudge, nudge, know wot I mean?