Movie Spoilers for Dummies

I’ve often parodied the “For Dummies” and “Idiot’s Guide” line of books and I’m sure I’ll continue to do so in the future. It’s sort of like when George Bush was in office. How could you not take advantage of such easy comedic opportunities?

The great thing about writing for “The Dummies” line is that your audience is so ineptly oblivious to the subject you’re writing about that they’re willing to be called a dummy (or an idiot) in order to learn something about it. If they’re that oblivious, you can make up whatever you want on the subject! How great is that concept?

Let’s try an experiment. I’ll put out this book:



Inside the book, I’ll write things like this:

300: Guess what? Don’t bother counting; there aren’t actually 300 of them

To Kill a Mockingbird: There aren’t any mockingbirds in the entire movie.

Return of the Jedi – Ewoks are not real creatures

Lord of the Rings – There is nothing beyond Middle Earth for it to be the middle of something

Fight Club – They fight

Rocky – Each sequel gets exactly that…a bit more rocky.

The Third Man – You don’t find out who the other two are

Das Boot – It isn’t about shoes

Slumdog Millionaire – The title spoils the end, anyway.

Die Hard – Despite the title to the contrary, he never dies, nor does the potential for yet another sequel.

Raging Bull – There are no bovines in the entire movie.

High Noon – Nobody got high