The New Age of Adult Halloween

Theme Thursday again, and appropriately the theme is Halloween this week. Lets spin a different twist on the age-old tradition...

“Thanks for coming along, I’m a bit nervous.”

“No problem. It’s your first time so I can imagine what you’re feeling.”

“It’s funny, when I was a kid, trick or treating was a lot of fun.”

“I know…and now it’s survival. Welcome to the new age of Adult Halloween.”

“But I thought this was just for kids.”

“It was. Until the economy went south, that is. Then we started the Adult trick or treating last year. Remember, we only hit the upper class neighborhoods where there are no kids. This is only the second year out for us adults so it can be a bit challenging.”

“Challenging? How so?”

“A lot of the houses prefer to hand out tricks rather than treats for us. Let’s split the sides of the street and we’ll see how you’ve fared by the end of the block”

At the end of the block

“How’d you do?”

“Not bad! I got this great low interest rate loan from that blue house.”

“No, no, no! That’s a trick. It’s a variable rate loan after one year with a huge balloon payment on the back end. This is what I’ve been trying to tell you, there are a lot of tricksters out there.”

“I also got some technology stock”

“Another trick, I’m afraid. Unless it’s Google or Apple, forget about it, the rest are worthless. You might as well have been given that ridiculous candy corn”

“Why does candy corn only come out during Halloween?”

“It’s the fruit cake of Halloween. Nobody eats it they just give it away the next year.”

“Well obviously I’m not doing great at this. What tips do you have?”

“Cash is the best obviously, but don’t take pennies, they cost you money to get them counted and there isn’t anything in them worth melting down anymore either.”

“What about food?”

“Go for the stuff that’ll keep for a long time. Like Twinkies or Spam. Don’t get any caramel items, it’ll cost you money in bridge and crown replacements at the dentist.”

“Ok, thanks for the tips. Are you sure I’m dressed right, though?”

“Of course, dressing like a stock broker or automotive worker are the biggest adult costumes this year. You look perfect. No go out there and hope for gold jewelry that you can mail in for cash.”