Friday, November 27, 2009

D is for DOUGHNUT

For the letter D, let’s focus on....

DOUGHNUT

Oh sure, you can’t resist a doughnut. But let’s take a closer look.

First of all, the name…

How DO you spell it? I see it as doughnut, donut and doenut (ok, only in Arkansas). I don’t think foods should have multiple ways to spell them. It confuses us and we feel uneducated…

Second of all, there are no nuts in a doughnut. If I went around ordering PUDDINGFIGS people would think I’m nuts (don’t go there…and don’t point out the pun…).

Thirdly, nuts aren’t made of dough. Not that nuts are made of walls or peas either but that’s not our focus here.

No, the doughnut needs a new name. How about “cellulite wheel?” I mean, the government is always screaming for more truth in advertising….how much truer can you get. Ok, perhaps wheel isn’t fair either because I’m sure if I put them on my car I wouldn’t get out of my rain soaked driveway without disaster!

The other problem I have with doughnuts is the hole…or lack thereof. What’s the point? Is this one of those ruses to rip us off on our extra doughnut bite? You know, sort of like the wine industry does by curving the bottle upward to you don’t get at much wine as the bottle looks like it holds. They’re always looking for some way to trick you in paying the same for less.

But those silly Canadians…they’ve been fooled the most. They seek out and buy the missing doughnut holes! Whole doughnut or doughnut hole? Hmmmm…tough decision. Sort of like asking ranch house in Flint, MI or villa in Tuscany…

Oh and like everything else in this world…there’s no end to the types of doughnuts you can eat either…

And finally…

27 comments:

Mrsupole said...

Ha, back on top again.

Mrsupole said...

I can't decide if I am hungry or if I am sick, but either way, I still love doughnuts. Hmmmmm, yum yum donuts. Just not as a burger.

God bless.

Quirkyloon said...

Mmm doenuts! (And no I don't live in Arkansas!)

hee hee hee hee hee

Beth said...

Guilty. Yes, I do buy the “missing” doughnut holes – they’re called “Timbits.”
Less filling, more variety - love ‘em!

Candie Bracci said...

one word:miam!:P

CatLadyLarew said...

HMMMMMM... donuts! Homer would be pleased!

VE said...

mrsupole - I see you're the top donut again!

quirkyloon - Doenuts only cost a buck! Ha!

beth - I've had Timbits in Toronto before!

VE said...

candie - Is that a French fruit?

catladylarew - Homer and I have the same work ethic...

Janna said...

I keep staring at that first donut.
It appears to be covered in chocolate, then coated in Rice Krispies, then drizzled with peanut butter.

*blink*

For some reason, that sounds really good right now.

I swear I'm not pregnant.

I almost smacked you for dissing houses in Michigan, but then I noticed you were only referring to FLINT, Michigan.
Well, of course. :) Everybody wants to get away from Flint. Their city motto is "Don't Shoot!!"

Elizabeth said...

I'm with Janna, I'm mesmerized by that first doughnut. I bet I could make that. It would be fun trying anyway!

Baino said...

I think I can safely now say 'only in America'. Bleagh!

Brian Miller said...

i think i would have to draw the line at the donut burger!

ReformingGeek said...

Oh, VE. You are very, very bad tempting us with donuts the day after Thanksgiving. I shall now have to make some.

My favorites are the cinnamon twists!

Anne said...

that's not a snow donut, that's a snow wint-o-green lifesaver.

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

Mr. P. went to a doughnut shop in Japan the other day and said it smelled like fish just like everywhere else in Japan. The doughnuts didn't taste like doughnuts either. A most unsatisactory experience overall!

VE said...

janna - That, my dear, is from Voodoo donuts located right in my hometown of Portland, OR. And...you are correct in what it has on it...if you're real adventurous you can find their web site and see the penis shaped chocolate donuts..

elizabeth - You'd certainly get an A for effort trying that one...

baino - There are many ridiculous things you can say that about here...

brian - Ha! I'm glad you drew the line somewhere....

reforminggeek - Send me one when you're done...

anne - Ha! Wint-o-green, forgot about those...

perpetual chocoholic - I believe it. I tend not to order American stuff like burgers and pizza in foreign countries anymore...they're always weird. The safe bet is spaghetti. It's rarely messed up...

Janna said...

"if you're real adventurous you can find their web site and see the penis shaped chocolate donuts.."

OMG.
You were right!

I would feel really guilty about dunking this in scalding hot beverages.

Matty said...

I like the cake style donuts. The doughy ones aren't as good. Love the chocolate icing.

Megan said...

The Nickel Diner in LA has maple bacon doughnuts. They are freaking awesome.

Man, I might have to go there tomorrow.

Kurt said...

Donut burger = ew.

VE said...

janna - Yes, I won't even order that one...for obvious reasons...

matty - Excellent choice...my favorite are just the old fashioned cake ones

megan - They have those here down at Voodoo donuts too...enjoy!

kurt - Don't be a no man until you've tried it ;)

Ronda Laveen said...

Doh!

Jaime said...

i know it all goes to the same place - but a donut burger?

Gladys said...

Why do donut shops always say "Hot donut" Do they only have one that is hot?

lime said...

but what about voodoo donuts? i think they must have some magicaly nonfattenign properties, right? that's what the voodoo is all about.

Uncivil said...

Dawgnuts!
Krispy Kreme glazed for me!

VE said...

ronda - Ha!

lime - I think voodoo only works in a bad way...if you eat one it'll probably triple the calories

uncivil - Yes...I think you do have dawgnuts around...