Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Inside the Whacky Inventor's Warehouse

I'm getting behind on my ridiculous story queue. Be sure to vote over on my side bar for a future story topic. In the mean time, here was the next one that won.

“Tommy! Be quiet. You’re gonna wake him.”

“Shut up. We’re fine. Just one more twist and we’re in.”

“This is so cool. This whacky guy’s been inventing things he won’t show for years.”

“Rumor has it there are Oompa Loompa’s around too.”

“Very funny…”

The two boys silently slip into the behemoth warehouse and begin to snoop around. Gadgets and gizmos are everywhere, stacked on top of one another as if they were in a set for Land of the Giants and had just landed in the toddler’s room.

“Check this out. It looks like a camelback.”

“Yeah, but this one delivers Pez. That’s so awesome!”

“Here’s another one that delivers cigarettes. Must be for serious smokers from North Carolina.”

The boys wander around picking up this and trying out that. Some of the inventions are pretty practical such as the popcorn bowl with the little holes that fall into a sub dish below it to catch all the un-popped kernels so you don’t destroy your teeth and dental work. Others are more difficult to determine.

“Hey, why’s that drum set inside that inflatable room?”

“Go try it out”

Billy goes into the room, zips up the door and proceeds to jam on the drums without any noise emulating out.

“Wow, a fully inflatable sound-proof band room. Do you know how much parents would pay for something like this?”

On a desk they find a stack of envelopes.

“Check out these envelopes. These are fantastical!”

“Look, the female one has boobs that inflate the paper out! Oh, and check out the pregnancy envelope.”

“And the male one…well, you can imagine what pops up when you blow on that.”

“Yeah, those cards are cool but check out these sucker caps.”

“What’s a sucker cap?”

“They fit on a pencil or a pen and you can suck on them instead of sucking or chewing on the pencil!”

There are many different designs of sucker caps. From pacifiers to plain Tootsie Pop round styles.

“Why’s that one look like a penis?”

“Dude…get it?”

“Oh.”

They laugh and move on. Rounding a corner, Tommy yells back to Billy, “Oh man, you’ve got to check out this. It’s gonna revolutionize the entire way you think about transportation.”

But before Billy gets to round the corner the warehouse lights come on. The whacky inventor has entered the building.

“Crap, let’s scram before he catches us,” whispers Tommy as they slink their way out of the warehouse.

“Damn you Tommy, what did you see?” cries Billy as they head back home.

“Sorry, man, next time. Next time.”

24 comments:

Mrsupole said...

Can it possibly be four, yippeee!!!

Mrsupole said...

I want one of those popcorn kernel bowls, and the inflatable sound room, and those blow up envelopes along with the sucker caps.

Please send them to: Mrsupole at the Southpole in the Antartic. No PO Box necessary.

And if he has invented a really good igloo heater could you also send one of those along too. Just charge it to my PayPal Account, I think you still have my number or get it from Kurt.

Can you please ship Overnight Express in a Lickety Split Moose.

God bless.

Nessa said...

I'd like a catalog for Christmas shopping.

Blast from the Past

The Incredible Woody said...

I'd love one of those popcorn bowls because I love the half popped kernels!

Quirkyloon said...

Wait, wait, wait.

First of all, you dare mock the Oompa Loompas? Better be careful, they just might have another puzzle waiting for you.

AND... you don't even tell us what Tommy saw? I don't care if Billy ever finds out, but I want to know!

"What do you get with a bowl of popped corn, you'll get no, you'll get no, you'll get no unpopped kernels!"

B.S. Could this comment be any longer? Ha!

ryan field said...

I think I've been to a place like this...

Roy Scribner said...

I want a PezPack!

VE said...

mrsupole - Its very expensive shipping to the Antarctic. The get delivered by penguins you know...

nessa - Oh, I have my annual Christmas gift post coming soon. I refuse to post it before Thanksgiving though.

incredible woody - So you'd be picking from the bottom part of the bowl while everyone else is eating from the upper part

quirkyloon - Gnomes and Oompas go way back. Gnomes think Oompas are too serious; they're always trying to instill some wisdom into everything they do. The gnomes just want to give them a wedgie...

ryan - No wonder that whacky inventor is so suspicous these days!

roy - We all do...we all do

lifeshighway said...

I want one of those popcorn bowls too, no lie.

The kids must have been in the Segway labatories.

Elizabeth said...

OMG those sucker caps would be a teacher's nightmare! But I agree with everyone else, I'd love a popcorn bowl like that!!
:)

Gladys said...

Why did they break into the AS SEEN ON TV section of Wal Mart? It's open 24/7.

AngelMay said...

I'll take the popcorn bowl, too. :)

ReformingGeek said...

If that popcorn bowl isn't already out there, I have to ask WHY THE HECK NOT?

I love the pencil caps. I could have used those during long corporate meetings....er...not the one shaped like a penis, though!

Megan said...

I don't get the envelopes? Am I just dumb or something? (Don't answer that.)

Ronda Laveen said...

Oh, Camelback. At first I read Camel toe.

Jaime said...

cheap! what did he see!

Janna said...

Maybe Dairy Queen could make a Pez blizzard...

I can't decide whether that would be a great idea or just very very wrong.

I may have to do some laboratory tests....

Jeff said...

Ooh... sorry to break it to you, but transportation has already been revolutionized. Didn't you hear about the Segue?

Maureen said...

Yeah, the pencil caps sound good er, except for that last one ... leave it to VE to go too far with THAT idea...

VE said...

lifeshighway - It's hard to burn rubber or get in the back seat of a segway though...

elizabeth - The popcorn bowl seems to be popular

gladys - They don't have cool popcorn bowls there (I checked)

angelmay - This sounds like the hit of the Christmas season

reforminggeek - Because I'm too lazy to design and market it...

megan - Imagine paper that pops up into erotic figures on the surface of the envelope. It's sort of like a pop-up card but these are done with a little air behind the paper to for the shape...

ronda - That wouldn't be as popular...

jaime - Got to leave something to your imagination...

janna - I wouldn't put them past it...

jeff - Damn. And here my human bank vacuum tube idea was all ready to go...

maureen - The gnomes made me do it...

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

I can never remember which story I voted for.

VE said...

perpetual chocoholic - Next up is Jello man. I seem to get slower and slower to write these because of NANOWRIMO...

Anne said...

i thought i commented on this one, but i can't find it so no wonder i also don't see your follow-up comment.

VE said...

anne - You need to keep up with all these!