Tuesday, November 24, 2009

A is for ALBUM

I think its time to start something new here at Fantastical Nonsense. No, I’m not changing format or replacing the gnomes for pixies for something stupid like that.

In honor of Sesame Street's 40th anniversary, let’s just do nonsense from A to Z. Not every day…mind you, but I’ll continue the series. These won't be whimpy posts either. These will be VE posts like only VE could do them.

Oh, and the comments might be slow in coming…we’re off to Vegas for some hiking and people watching (I’m not a gambler) this week but the gnomes have things covered here at FN and I might have connectivity. Feel free to run amok in the comments either way…

For the letter A, let’s focus on....

ALBUM

For those of you born after the 1980s, an album was a big record that contained music, not something your mother made you look at containing embarrassing photos of yourself.

I have fond memories of albums. First of all…the artwork on the covers was so much more meaningful than those on CDs because you could ACTUALLY SEE THEM! Ok, perhaps my eyesight isn’t what it was back then, but still…


Albums came after the older 78rpm record players unionized, went on strike and got the industry to spin at 33 1/3 rpm. Seriously, WTF? Couldn’t they have at least rounded that to 34? At least the inventors of albums had the intelligence to make the hole the same size as the 78rpm records so the record players could still play them. But then along comes the 45rpm single. Again, WTF?

You can hear the discussion at the record company that first put out 45 records…

Executive: “Damn it…who designed these singles records?”
Idiot: “I did, sir”
Executive: “And where on Earth did you come up with a HUGE HOLE for them?”
Idiot: “Well…I had this half dollar in my pocket and…”

Thank God we were all saved by the “As seen on TV” folks…


But not all things were good about the album. Sure, it had a softer sound and better cover art and generally most albums put out early on contained a lot of songs that were good. But then something started happening. They figured out they could get just one hit and compose CRAP for the rest of the songs and we’d still have to buy it.

Also, records didn’t exactly hold up. They constantly skipped and popped if you weren’t obsessive about taking care of them (and what teenager ever did that). Also, they weren’t very mobile. Ever leave them in your car by accident?


And it wasn’t like you could take all your favorites on that road trip anyway. Unless you had this, of course…

What he doesn’t know is that he’ll have to actually bring his albums with him to play them and they’ll all end up warped like the earlier photo (which is probably why you’ve never seen this particular invention).

Really, there wasn’t anything easy about albums though. They took up an incredible amount of space.


They were also heavy as a collection. Ask anyone that ever had to move and had a lot of albums in their collection. Plus, they’d break cheap shelving if you tried to stack too many together.


Yes, in many ways albums were the equivalent of saying “why when I was your age, I had to walk 7 miles in the snow to school. Barefoot…”

29 comments:

Mrsupole said...

Dang it, I even waited 3 hours.

Mrsupole said...

I'm too young to remember albums. Hehe!! Well at least I can't seem to remember them or even Sesame Street. I never watched Sesame Street or heard any albums. But I think those bigger pictures sure are great.

I hope you have fun in Vegas. As long as you eat well, that is all that matters. And make sure to bring back all the little shampoo bottles. They are great for when you have guests and only last for a few days, then your guests go home...how cool is that.

God bless.

Candie Bracci said...

LOL,nice one!;) and yes that is a good idea indeed!What you plan for B?

Beth said...

OMG - I remember those little yellow things for 45s!
Am I showing my age???

ReformingGeek said...

At least the album covers last longer that the plastic CD holders!

I loved those big covers, huge photos of your latest teenage heartthrob.

Quirkyloon said...

Ah memories of my 45s!

Nicely done VE, but dare I confess?

I can't wait for "C!"

C is for cookie
That's good enough for me!
Cookie, cookie, cookie
Starts with C!

Can't get more Sesame Street than that!

hee hee hee

Unfinished Rambler said...

First, a side note, I think it's unfair of Quirky Loon to force you into a cookie box with C, the first thing I thought of with the letter C was "cat"...um, not that I'm trying to force you into a box either. :)

Second, a random list of songs on my favorite 45s: "19" by Paul Hardcastle, "Convoy" by C.W. McCall and "Jammin' Me" by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.

Elizabeth said...

I kinda miss albums, but I just got back from the gym and am really happy to have my ipod!

AngelMay said...

...uphill - both ways!

Funny post, VE. I still have a cabinet full of old LPs. If only I had a decent turntable on which to play them...

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

That brings back not so fond memories of when I could never find the little yellow things to go in the middle of the 45s. I rarely listened to music. I couldn't own one of the blasted things without scratching it within the first week.

VE said...

mrsupole - Well, you might not have albums but you're staying first around here!

candie - Ah....A through E are already written and scheduled (so I can enjoy my vacation). You'll have to wait for B...

beth - Not as far as I can see!

reforminggeek - Those plastic CD holders didn't hold did they?

quirkyloon - Oh...C is already written...you'll have to go with my random selections this week...

unfinished - Convey? 10-4!

elizabeth - It's hard to work out carrying a turntable and albums around...

angelmay - Was there ever a decent turntable?

perpetual - Yes, I scratched most of mine too...

Maureen said...

We still have all our old albums. Some I got autographed so they are wall art now.

Others are waiting for hubby to actually USE the Christmas gift I got him last year; a record player with a USB so we can download them onto our iPods. Maybe one day we'll actually get to that...

Gladys said...

Now VE did you really BUY cheap shelving or just get some Cinder Blocks and some 4X8's? Those things would hold up the Empire State Bldg. Also what was the first Album you remember buying?

Mine was The Who.

Also my first record player was an old victrola that you had to crank. I inherited it from my Great Grandma...it's in my bedroom still.

Kitty said...

I still have all my albums, and I even have a record player (and a 45 rpm insert) to play them on. Even in my large urban area, though, I had to go to a lot of trouble to find a replacement needle. (Remember when you used to be able to repair household items?)

The first album my parents bought for me was a K-TEL compilation of hits from 1979. "Reunited," anyone? "Blue Morning, Blue Day"? The first one I bought with my own money was Men At Work's Business as Usual. Little did I know that albums only had about 6 good years left in 'em before I'd be rebuying everything on CD.

nursemyra said...

I don't miss having ti constantly replace the needle on a record player - those things were expensive back in the day

Nessa said...

I'm sorry. i didn't get past the bulge in the pants. Did you say something?

Have a Happy Thanksgiving. Turkey Butt

Ronda Laveen said...

A roll of quarters or a rolled up sock? Hmmm, toss up.

GC (God's Child) said...

male enhancement!!!
bwa ha ha haa

Matty said...

I had so many albums, and don't know what ever happened to them. Ah, the good ole days.

VE said...

maureen - Why does it not surprise me to find out you had signed albums?

gladys - I think they DO have them holding up the empire state building. My first album I bought was The Beatle's Abbey Road.

kitty - That's awesome! I have a lot of them but they're hopelessly scratched and warped over years and abuse. I totally remember that K-Tel stuff..thanks for the memories...

nursemyra - Or having to replace the record with another...because stacking them would scratch them!

nessa - See...and you thought all I put on here were the bad pics...

ronda - I can't believe guys did that...I prefer baggy pants...I don't like to provide free advertising for my dong...

gc - Coincidence? I think not...

matty - Where do all the old albums end up, anyway? Mexico?

Uncivil said...

I don't know why, but Album just isn't the first word that comes to mind with the letter "A" for me????? ;-)

Janna said...

I'm old enough to remember record albums AND 8-tracks.

I'm trying to find a way to say that where it doesn't sound depressing.

Give me a moment.

VE said...

uncivil - Actuary tables? Artificial Intelligence? Advil? Arm Wrestling? I give up...

janna - Give it up...next you'll be telling me you used to have to use stamps...and even lick them

Baino said...

For some reason I'm compelled to keep mine even though I don't have a record player! Can't believe the Stones got away with that cover all those years ago!

Megan said...

The covers, yes. And the liner notes. Gotta love those.

VE said...

baino - I'm the same way...I don't have a turntable anymore but still have some albums.

megan - Yes, cannot forget the liner notes...

Jaime said...

i am having a hard time getting past grover in this post. my son's staring at him screaming "COOKIE"

eh...he's blue and fuzzy... they kinda look the same. what more do you expect from a 23 month old?

lime said...

oh did this ever bring back a lot of memories. i guess that means i am officially old. thanks. :P

VE said...

jaime - Blue and fuzzy...just like the blueberries I bought from the store after three days! Damn them...

lime - Yep, it's official. Well send you your denture plaque...