Thursday, November 05, 2009

VE goes Castle Shopping

It’s Theme Thursday once again and this week it is CASTLE.

You know, with Nicholas Cage selling his castle earlier this year I thought that it might be a good time to get in on a bargain castle. It’s so much easier than worrying about termites or LP siding and since every castle is fortified, it helps deter the inlaws.

But wow! I found out castle home buying is such a pain. Take the Neuschwanstein castle.

For one thing it has 90 rooms but only 14 of them are completed. I really wasn’t too keen on spending a fortune for a historic famous castle and then have to go and drywall! Besides, the castle was impossible to play basketball at. One shot over the backboard and you’re chasing it 20 miles down to the lake.

No, I needed a smaller castle. The Peel Castle looked like it might be the ticket but alas, it was built in the 11th century. All the cool castles were built in the 13th century and it’s such a pain to replace the goat shag carpeting and avocado green tapestries.

Also it was built in the Isle of Man. While I did like the fact that it was featured on the back of a currency bill, I just didn’t want to live in an Isle. They’re always so busy what with food shopping carts going by and such. No, an isle wasn’t for me and so I kept searching.

Next up seemed promising because its size was small. Large castles are such a pain to heat in the winter. If they’re wood burning you need an entire forest to support it. If they’re electric then you need a nuclear power plant close by.

Gidleigh castle in England seemed to fit the bill. It was a nice 13th century castle with only a few rooms and a lovely English garden surrounding it that I could hire other people to maintain. But alas, it hadn’t had a roof on it since the 1800s and there was concern over the lack of an entire wall missing. Once again, castle maintenance seemed to be the key thing to watch for when purchasing one.

Finally, I settled on a lovely two up/one down castle in the middle of nowhere England with lovely maintenance.

I’ve bought two horses and I hope that the local bishops will be moving in close by too. Now all I need is a king and queen and a bunch of pawns…

47 comments:

Mrsupole said...

Whew, keeping this up is hard to do. Hah!!!!

Mrsupole said...

I like the one you finally settled on too, but the one with 90 rooms probably has the best view. How many bathrooms does it have?

And by the way, I think I am getting too influenced by you, so I am going to shamelessly promote my "Killer Bra" post. Somehow it seems like something you would write. I am not quite sure why. Let me know what you think.

God bless.

Ronda Laveen said...

Oh, Sherry, Sherry, Sherry...back on top I see...and braless to boot.

What a cute little castle you chose, VE. Is it made from Leggos?

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

Oh...Mrs. Upole AGAIN! It's only 7:30 in the morning here. I just can't catch a break;-)

Kurt said...

It's very hard to keep a castle heated properly.

Maureen said...

My oh my, someone thinks he's Royalty now, doesn't he????

I think you're closer to a Dirty Rascal than the King of a Castle.

Brian Miller said...

oh i think you have your pawns...avocado green is just so hard to match...

Quirkyloon said...

Whew! I'm glad you stayed away from those castle fixer-uppers! They can be money-pits.

It looks like you hit the mother lode with your Extreme Makeover: Castle.

Congrats!

hee hee

GC (God's Child) said...

his octopus may soon be homeless--would you consider adopting it?

The Incredible Woody said...

There is a castle near the job my husband is currently working on. The owner decided that he needed a castle and has been building it for the last 20 years or so. It is pretty cool - they host the annual renaissance fair. And it was the setting for a music video by Taylor Swift.

nanc said...

We have one very similar to this one, only ours came with a trebuchet - what is a castle without a trebuchet?

Roy Scribner said...

Oh VE, along with the king, queen and pawns, you'll also need an awesome set of knockers.

Elizabeth said...

Will your gnomes live in the castle with you??

nonamedufus said...

Visions of "to the manor born", eh? At those prices did you have to take out a 25 year mortgage?

VE said...

mrsupole - Killer bra? Now how could I pass up that title? I'll go check it out...well...I mean read it

ronda - Leggo's last 10,000 years in a land fill so that wouldn't be a bad choice for building a castle...

perpetual chocoholic - I thought about just filling in the first comment on all my posts but I know people would then be vying for "SECOND". Uggh... Oh well.

kurt - Which is why you build one in San Diego. Very consistent weather there...

maureen - Ha! I could have been a Little Rascal! Buckwheat's got nuthin on me...

brian - Well I do have the gnomes and they're pointed hats work nicely for pawns...perhaps I can paint them all avacado green...

quirkyloon - You're fixing one up right now, aren't you? Try adding some nice lava lamps in the dungeon...

gc - No thanks...I've heard they suck...

incredible woody - I was going to build one too but it's so hard to find qualified slaves to help with the building...

nanc - I agree. A castle isn't any fun without a trebuchet. We launched pumpkins from ours down at the pawns...

roy - Ha! Yes, that is true. Well...I don't personally need to have them but they should be readily accessible

elizabeth - No, I need poor villagers to live around the castle. They'll have to be my pawns...

nonamedufus - Actually, I got a nice 2500 year mortgage with a balloon payment at the end. I'm sure the world will end before it has to be paid...

R.J. Edwards said...

I've always wondered how you keep a castle properly heated. I hate drafts and hate being cold so I probably wouldn't be too happy living in one; at least not during the winter months.

Nessa said...

You made a good choice. You can look right through one window and out the other. Saves on eye strain.

Dona Nobis Pacem & Thursday Thirteen

AngelMay said...

Avocado green - what a hoot!
Loved your final choice. Way cool.

Wings said...

Great place to visit, but not sure I would want to live there. :)

Dot-Com said...

I remember visiting Neuschwanstein as a kid. Now I want to go back!

Kate Hanley said...

Hilarious! Loved it. I did meet a guy in France who grew up in a castle and we visited it. Rather small this castle, yours is much bigger.

VE said...

RJ Edwards - Funny how you never find castles in the tropical climates. I guess everyones too mellow to bother with storming a castle so they didn't need to build them in the first place...

nessa - Shouldn't all castles be designed in that manner? That way peeping Toms can only see your neighbor...

angelmay - Now if the English would just stop taxing me so much...

wings - I do get tired of the torch bearing villagers...

dot-com - Oddly, I haven't seen that Castle even though I've been to Germany many a time. I guess I was too busy driving like a maniac on the autobahn...

kate - Cool. I'd love to see a really small castle...

e said...

Hilarious and still giggling! I must hear more about Mrsupole's Killer Bra!

Gladys said...

What about Joni Mitchell's ice cream castles in the air? You could live there.

Baino said...

Well judging by us lot, you've got your prawns, I mean pawns.

...mmm... said...

Yes, I like that bottom one too but really don;t think i could handle the stairs at all.

Megan said...

heh heh. isles. you kill me.

CatLadyLarew said...

Great choice of castle! Just the right size. I'd move in there!

Roy said...

I have a soft spot in my heart for Neuschwantstein Castle; it was one of the reasons why my great grandparents left Bavaria and emigrated to America. It was built by Ludwig II of Bavaria, commonly known as verrückter Ludi - "Crazy Louie" - because he built a whole bunch of these places because he got antsy around a lot of people and needed places to hide from them. In the process he almost bankrupted the country, and people left to find someplace that had a bit more financial security. Crazy Louie also thought Wagner was the bee's knees, a sure sign of craziness by anybody's standards.

Great collection of castles, and the usual great explanations!

Uncivil said...

I live in a Castle!
Castle Hayne to be exact?
http://www.wect.com/Global/story.asp?s=9710035&clienttype=printable

Jasmine said...

Sack the architect! Neuschwanstein is so badly planned. No Basketall cout? And if it had one you'd have a long way to go if the ball went over the top!

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

You know....My kids had a "My Little Pony" castle. That would be a bit cheaper to move into!

Serena said...

Oooo, I love castles! I'll volunteer to be the queen if the king is easily influenced and I can play with the pawns.:)

Jacki said...

I guess I'll just have to settle for my McMansion...

Janna said...

Once you get settled in your castle, I'll gladly offer my services as court jester or court musician. I can even bring my own harp, though the price will be slightly higher then. :)

Candie Bracci said...

LOL!That was a brillant take on the theme!

Marianna said...

I'm definitely NOT buying a castle lol

xoxo

VE said...

e - It might not be pretty...

gladys - I'd just eat myself out of house and home

baino - Prawns are good with tarter sauce. Come to think of it...most things are...

...mmm... - Shhhh...I have an escalator...

megan - Yes...I went there...

catladylarew - Has a wonderful rock climbing route up the back too...

roy - Interesting. Although him bankrupting the government is actually an urban myth...he only bankrupted himself (you know those gnomes and their investigative qualities)...

uncivil - I'm afraid to go to your link. I need to find a safe house with a stand-alone computer...

jasmine - That's what I'm saying! Ever try to go for a bike ride from that castle. It's all uphill to get home!

perpetual chocoholic - I know, but the pony gets all whiny then...

serena - Ha! You sound like you have queen potential there...

jacki - There are many in the USA, that's for sure...try to do something more original with the arches though...

janna - Court jester is my profession...we'll...it was until they laid me off...

candie - And it's hard to take a castle anywhere...they're so hard to move...

marianna - I'm sure there are some simple 40 room castles I overlooked...

California Girl said...

Engaging post with amusing comments. I am looking for a pawn myself.

VE said...

california girl - I think people are hogging all the good pawns these days...

Dee said...

where did you find that last picture? great caption, your so funny!

VE said...

dee - It's called the Broadway (or is it Broadmore?) castle. Supposedly the smallest castle in England...

Jaime said...

you forgot the most important feature... which one of these castles has indoor plumbing!

VE said...

jaime - I don't see a "Honey Bucket" around the last castle so I'm assuming it does...

Sarah said...

Did you name your castle? I believe all proper castles have names.

Anne said...

I love Castle, Mondays at 10:00 on ABC. Love.It.

Mrs. R said...

I'm not sure you could call that last one a castle...it looks like they built the first tower and then forgot the rest.