Tuesday, December 01, 2009

F is for FRANCE

For the letter F, let’s focus on....

France

For those of you that are scared to take the bus or subway outside of your little neighborhood, France is this whole other country…

There are lots of thing to love and hate about France. You might agree or disagree with me on these things.

Things I love about France…

Statue of Liberty. What a cool gift to the USA! Sure, vineyard real estate would have been better but this was the next best thing. Plus, they didn’t expose her hairy pit to the world either…cause you know she’s got them!

Wine. Come on, we have lots of great wine and so do many other countries but France is still considered THE place for wine. Besides, you’ve got to envy how they serve all the kids wine at every dinnertime and yet few of them become raging alcoholics like they would in the USA had we considered doing this…

Pink Panther. Whether you like the originals or the remakes, it’s all good stupid fun.

Food (French Fries, French Toast, Omlette) Admit it, stacked up against our own cuisine, we’ve got some catching up to do in this area. The “hot dog” just ain’t competing on the same level…

Work Ethic. This one is my personal favorite. The French don’t live to work, they work to live. They all get 30 days of vacation and nobody works overtime in France. It’s like being on island time without having to be stuck on an island paying $12.50 for a burger because it had to be shipped there…

Things I hate about France…

Mimes. I mean really…what’s not to hate?

Jerry Lewis. They still think this guy is funny! The only thing I find funny is his jet black hair at the age of 80!

Plumbing. Sure, it’s not just a French thing but I’ll add it to the list anyway and make them the martyr for all of Europe and their medieval plumbing. Maybe they should make all the bike racers lay pipe while that Tour de France is going on. That would be a win-win…

Oh, and that leads us inevitably to our next one…

Hygiene. Yep, imagine that. No hot water, no showers! No showers, no shaving the pits. It’s been known for years that the French are not much into hygiene…perhaps that’s why they make so many perfumes there.

Fashion. Let’s have a look…

Need I say more?

Autos. It’s gotta be well known by now not to buy a car made in France. I think the rule is just under not buying swamp land in Florida. Peugeot is probably French for “lucky it goes” and Renault is French for “should have renegotiated”

Finally, I’m neutral on language. Sure, they are rude to Americans and refuse to acknowledge our attempts at French but then again, we’re arrogant into thinking everyone must learn our language because we’re number one! Puleez…

33 comments:

Mrsupole said...

Yes, F is for first.

Mrsupole said...

Hey VE, lets gets something straight French Fries were invented in America not France. And you forgot the most important thing, French pastries. There is nothing greater then French pastries. I think they rate higher than French wine. Crossiants are amazing. And the French language is so beautiful to listen to, it is lyrical. And truly parfume was invented there.

And the most important thing that France has right now is Candie Bracci and beautiful Andy.

"Viva La France"

God bless.

PS...although the car in the picture is a little sucky looking. And Mimes are scarey sometimes. Do they have French clowns that mime?

monica said...

T'as vraiment plein de préjugés tu sais , Ve! Bien sûr on épile en France!! Il y a longtemps que tu étais là?
hm. Il y a aussi les fromages francaises!! Comme le comté! Oh la la...

Kurt said...

I've never been treated anything but politely in France.

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

I've always been treated politely in France too! Oh wait....I've never been there.

Quirkyloon said...

I love the Pink Panther cartoons! Those were the best.

I'm still trying to get the bad taste out of my mouth after seeing the womanly hairy pits.

Mighty disgusting VE. DISGUSTING.

But then again you aim to disgust, right? hee hee

ReformingGeek said...

Outside of Paris, they aren't as mean to Americans.

I'm all for the wine, of course, and the Pink Panther is hilarious!

I guess if they spend that much time at the beach they figure they don't need to shower.

Roy Scribner said...

Love the Dark Helmet outfit! Makes me want to put Spaceballs in the rotation, this weekend.

CatLadyLarew said...

I want the French work ethic. 30 days of vacation and "island time" work for me!

Elizabeth said...

I've always wanted to speak French. I took classes, but never got the hang of it.

Ed W said...

mrsupole - Ah, there you go spoiling the joke about French Fries! Nobody's supposed to know they weren't French... Oh...I'm just waiting for the reaming from Candie too...

monica - Ha! What do you mean I'm prejudiced? I've been to France many times. I've been to Paris and was treated rudely and feared for my life when a Taxi drove down the sidewalk to avoid traffic. I've been to the French Riviera and I've been through both the Western and Eastern countryside there. I had to sleep in my car in Nice because I couldn't find a place to stay the night. Yes...I've had a fair amount of experiences there and can poke fun...

kurt - Lucky you!

perpetual chocoholic - Lucky you! No...actually there are some beautiful places to visit there...

quirkyloon - I don't aim to disgust, it's just so hard to hit anything that isn't disgusting anymore...

reforminggeek - We are called "the sterile ones" for our daily showers or sometimes multiple showers here in the USA. But of course, I'm stereotyping just to have some fun...

roy - That's a good idea...I haven't watched that one in awhile

catladylarew - Me too. Oh wait...I don't work anyway. Still, I like their attitude there...

elizabeth - Not me...I can barely manage one language...

VE said...

Sorry everyone...I've had to sign myself onto Fantastical Nonsense using my writing alias (Ed W) so that I can access my blog posts because blogger is giving me an error message and not letting me view or edit my posts. Until that gets fixed, you might see responses from either of my alias names depending on who I am signed in as...(damn blogger)

Anne said...

I was here today.

VE said...

anne - Careful...I'm going to test you on your knowledge of specific posts...

Baino said...

Haha that could be one of our family dinners . . .really! So much to love about France . . eclairs . . .perfume . . champagne . . .cheese . . . and they do so have hot showers you rumourmonger! Although my sister in law was slapped by a gypsy outside the Louvre for not 'donating' some cash.

Jeff said...

Holy crap, that woman has more pit hair than I do. Assuming that actually is a woman of course.

subtorp77 said...

Ditto what Jeff said~BWAHAHAHAHA!! Oh wait...there was this one girl in Toulon...never mind...um...gotta go!

VE said...

baino - Rumormonger? Ha! I blame the gnomes...

jeff - Well if you'd stop shaving yours...

subtorp77 - There's always a story...

Jaime said...

i loved being in france, except for that stupid bitch who tried to get into a fist fight with me over a tea cup at eurodisney...

lime said...

what about french kissing?

Gladys said...

Aw the French and such wonderful items such as Cold Fishy Soup and Mustard. Let's not forget Bridget Bardot and Jean Reno. Wait maybe we should forget the French and their overpriced hotel rooms with little tiny water closets and cab drivers who take you for everything you have.

Janna said...

That chick in the white dress, pulling the suitcase... at first it looks like she has three arms. But I'm really hoping the 3rd one belongs to someone behind her.

Or else the French are even weirder than I thought.

Candie Bracci said...

Ha!Sorry I didn't come earlier!I was at a tea party in the Aspen!And there were wilder things than tea over there!Anyway...hahahahahaha!
Monica a raison on s'épile en France!Bordel!;)
And oh..Mrsupole,I didn't expect that at all!You are really nice!Thank you :)

VE:I'm right with you on fashion,there are som things..well,I don't get the whole thing!

What about plumbing?Then I don't know about plumbing...

It's true about the holidays,we have 5 weeks holidays..but I hope the little one is not going to take that away from us..he already starts to do dodgy stuff with healthcare..so..ahhhhhhh

Nice choice of F word!LOL

Candie Bracci said...

This is why mimes are disappearing...

VE said...

jaime - Ha! Was it Tinkerbell? Minnie? That Snow White gal?

lime - Why I never!!!! Ha!

gladys - Don't get me started on the cab drivers...

janna - Ha! Cool...I didn't notice that. That's what happens when you don't shave the pits!

candie - No scathing replies, eh? You were so gentle on me. Actually, I only had one bad experience in France and that was in Paris but I left pretty quickly. All my other trips have been fabulous. It's just so fun to pick on France for some reason...

Candie Bracci said...

Oh..yeah and what is your reason?LOL

Paris is not France..that's what we say in Marseille!;)Football's talk I guess!Even my grandmother is a fervent supporter and she says another F word when she mentions Paris and that's true story!

Uncivil said...

Don't forget the FRENCH Bulldog!
What a cutie that dog is!

Uncivil said...

Don't for get the French Bulldog!
What a cutie that dog is!

VE said...

candie - My experience there stems clear back in 1982. Perhaps I should give it another chance...

uncivl - You can say that again...oh wait...you did! ;)

Ronda Laveen said...

But the French have the bidet.

VE said...

ronda - I'm shaking my head...

Maureen said...

But the French have Poutine!!!

Or is that just a French-Canadian thing???

VE said...

maureen - What is a Poutine?