Tuesday, December 15, 2009

J is for JURY

For the letter J, let’s focus on....

JURY

Juries are curious things. These are the poor hapless souls that somehow either wanted to go and serve our legal system or they’re the idiots that couldn’t seem to find a loophole to get out of serving.

It took me 46 years to be called for Jury duty and I couldn’t find a loophole. Then they saw my blog and wrote me off forever. Actually, that’s not true, I called and they didn’t have a case for me so I took the day off. Oh wait, I always take the day off.

But having the leftovers stand jury duty reminds me of the draft and how all the rich and important got out of the war too. So either way, war or legal decisions, we have only those who couldn’t find a way out to decide our fates.

Since the definition of JURY is: A jury is a sworn body of people convened to render an impartial verdict, I’m going to use you, my readers, as my jury. After all, I’ve seen some of you swear…I swear!

The trial? A Charlie Brown Christmas.

Your deliberation? To determine an innocent or guilty in the case of Charles Shultz’s attempt to bamboozle you with strange practical jokes.

The Evidence? Let me show you:

    First I introduce the scene at the play. Mr. Shultz has introduced a strange spiky haired kid to the ensemble that is never mentioned by name. Curious, yes, but wait...

    That's right...he's suddenly switched shirts and gotten rid of Schroeder. Very suspicious...

    They follow Charlie brown out of the building and down the street. No Schroeder and no Shermie either.

    They stop to see Charlie Brown's debacle with the tree. Not that Shermie and Schoeder are not there but Pigpen is.

    Ok, suddenly we're all on drugs. Not only has Schroeder and Shermie suddenly appeared out of nowhere but Pigpen has gone missing. Also, Mr. Shulz always did have a tendency to make the boys with premature hair loss, but he is also doing it to the girls. Think I'm making that up? Take a look...

    More evidence is available for his apparent jacket/no jacket prank during the meaning of Christmas speech. You decide...

    Then there's the tree. The infamous real Christmas tree that seems to change size and branch configuration with every scene. It also manages to lose more needles than it began with and in the end becomes this full green decorated tree with popcorn and lights that came from nowhere (cause I don't see those things on Snoopy's dog house...)

    Oh...and speaking of real...what about Lucy's sign? Who's been smoking drugs?

    And there you have it. All of the evidence that points to Mr. Shulz bamboozling us with his childish pranks.
    You're the jury... Guilty or Not Guilty?

    29 comments:

    subby said...

    I blame the animation studio and Sparky's lack of controlle over the final print...

    subby said...

    Holy Cow! I beat Mrsupole? Maybe I'M on drugs, wot?

    VE as ADA I out this down to cheap animation and very poor art. And I agree with the Defence attorney that his client is innocent of all charges!

    Mrsupole said...

    I'm sick, I'm on drugs, Subby beat me here, and I still can't get up out of bed and then you want to totally confuse the hell, I mean heck, out of me with Schroeder and bald little kids.

    BRB, uh, had to go see if my bald spot was showing. Wow I truly need to get off these drugs, uh what were we talking about. Oh yeah, jury duty, well I am excused for life, well you know due to the drugs that I am gonna be on for the rest of my life and so as you can see I do have these focus issues on top of that and then I have sleeping issues along with back and shoulder problems and RLS and so they finally decided that if I was to serve, then the appeals would skyrocket up to the SCOTUS and which ever side I voted for would lose. So they now pay me to stay away from the court houses and they even tried to send me up in the space shuttle one year, but I got lucky and someone else went in my place. Screw them, it was my case, and I was the acting lawyer not the dumb ass client, oh yeah, I forgot I was the dumb ass, oh I mean winning client. But nooooo, they sent me away, far, far away to a land where I saw Santa on an escalator with men from the Force and then I yelled to Santa; "May the Force be with you." Next thing I knew I was being a client/own lawyer person again. Someone ought to pay me for all the work I had to do. But Santa won, and won again on appeal, and won again on the next appeal. I said; "Screw you Santa, I am boycotting you this year and I am going to let everyone know and then your dumb ass will be out of a job and you can KMA.

    Around here I am known as the Scrooge of Jury Duty. Join me, boycott Christmas gift giving and give it all to the gov now because they are coming to take it anyway. HO HO HO and Boycott Too.

    @subby, I will second your vote since I am too sick to do my own. Glad you beat me, but get off the drugs cause I am not sharing them with you. Hehe. I'll share them with Mom though.

    God bless.

    subby said...

    I've done jury duty twice( been called 3 times ). Mom can't ever do it due to her dialysis, so she had to get a note from her doctor! kinda late for her. SHe's been here 30+ years and that was the first time she was ever called. And there are loopholes, heh, heh...

    Jeff said...

    I think you were right about the drugs... because that's why Schroeder and Shermie were late to the tree decorating party. They stepped behind the school for some quick doobage before joining their friends. Delinquents.

    ReformingGeek said...

    It's evident from the psychedelic colors used in the series that Mr. Shultz has a serious drug problem.

    Quirkyloon said...

    They are definitely guilty VE!

    Guilty, guilty, guilty!

    And thank-you for pointing out this horrible injustice.

    Mr. Schulz? For shame for shame on ye!

    Kurt said...

    We call those continuity issues in the industry.

    Roy Scribner said...

    December 15, 2009: VE ruins Christmas!

    Perpetual Chocoholic said...

    Hmmm....you definately did take the day off! Now I'll never be able to watch that cartoon without wondering.

    VE said...

    subby - Just goes to show you don't need quality control to make a classic...

    mrsupole - I'm up to chapter two on your comment (just kidding). Actually, I'm sure there are many around that will join you with drugs and a Christmas boycot...

    jeff - You seem to have a lot of familiarity with that plan...

    reforminggeek - Yes, bright bold colors always masks some ugly truth...that's why I use pee-yellow as my background...

    quirkyloon - That's what I love about you quirky, always quick to "fry 'em"...Ha!

    kurt - We call them "huh?" in the audience...

    roy - I feel so proud. People have been telling me for years that I have the potential for big things but I never thought I had the initiative to really pull off anything big. This sounds BIG!!! I'd like to thank my sponsors, my readers, and my lack of focus...

    perpetual chocoholic - VE...ruining classic Christmas cartoons one show at a time (I ruined the Grinch last year)...

    Tom said...

    ha ha..i'm still laughing at this post....but i don't care HOW bad the animation is (and i read once that Sparky was horribly embarrased
    by the whoe thing) i still love The Charlie Brown Christmas Special!

    Baino said...

    Clearly you have far too much time on your hands. Bet you're a dab hand at Where's Wally! (I think he's called Waldo in your neck of the woods)

    Gladys said...

    You want the truth??? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH... if you shout that when you are called for jury duty and are being interviewed they for some reason never choose you. I'm just sayin...

    Oh and I think that the whole Peanuts gang has been smokin something.

    Elizabeth said...

    I HATE Charlie Brown. Hate! Hate! Hate! So I say guilty!
    (I also hate Dr. Seuss and Shel Silverstein)

    Uncivil said...

    Ok.....moving right along....what's "K" gonna be about?
    "Knockers" I hope?????

    VE said...

    tom - It's still a classic nonetheless...

    baino - Yes, I find them pretty fast...the can run, but they can't hide...

    gladys - That's a good strategy. Worked for Nicholson...well, until they arrested him that is...

    elizabeth - Wow, five hates in a single comment. I haven't had that happen since I dissed something really important...like chocolate (actually, I've never dissed chocolate so you can relax).

    uncivil - You can dream...I can dream...but alas, it's much stupider...

    lime said...

    well the only evidence i needed to prove drug abuse by the animators was the dance scene. you ever noticed the way those kids move like they are all tripping?

    Serena said...

    I've been so lucky -- knock on wood -- to have avoided getting called for jury duty all these years. If my luck runs out, I'll have to vote to fry the guy for ruining my run of good luck.:)

    Janna said...

    I wonder why Marcie and Peppermint Patty weren't in this one.

    VE said...

    lime - Yes, they all have strange dance moves...

    serena - The gnomes make sure you don't have to!

    janna - They weren't invented in the comic at that time...neither was Woodstock...

    Maureen said...

    Even as a kid I couldn't get over the tree changes. I mean, geez, three branches one scene, five the next. How hard is it to draw a damn tree????

    Sparky should have been embarassed. And drugs? I vote yes. Just listen to the music and the way the kids only heard the adults "Wah, Wah, Wahhed...." when they spoke to them. Clearly they were on something.

    I vote Guilty. Even tho I loved the show.

    Jacki said...

    I've always wondered about Charlie Brown cartoons...why there were so many mistakes and all. But even so I love them. Especially Snoopy. He's cool.

    Janna said...

    "janna - They weren't invented in the comic at that time...neither was Woodstock..."

    Really?
    (*clicking around and doing lazy research on Wikipedia*)

    Wow, you're right!
    THIS says A Charlie Brown Christmas made its debut in 1965... and THIS says Peppermint Patty wasn't around until 1966.
    Huh! I never knew!

    VE said...

    maureen - Yes...you've proven your willing to overlook the rough parts for the bigger picture. This explains a lot for living in a town that has two warm days a year... ;)

    jacki - Snoopy is the best in that one...

    janna - I'm a wealth of useless knowledge...

    Dee said...

    Guilty as charged. It was Snoopy in the school room with the piano

    Megan said...

    I never noticed any of that. I guess I wouldn't make a very good juror!

    VE said...

    dee - You were a good Clue player, I see...I always guessed too early and lost.

    megan - Glad I could spoil it for you...

    Jaime said...

    i just got called for jury duty. i'm really hoping to get myself out of it. i mean, who wants a lawyer on their jury?