Wednesday, December 16, 2009

K is for KANGAROO

For the letter K, let’s focus on....

KANGAROO

Kangaroos are part of the marsupial family. You know: the wallaby, the koala and the opossum…all loveable creatures. Err…I guess we can rule opossum from that attribute. But anyway, they’re all lumped together because they have “the pouch”.

What is it with these animals? I think they’re kind of weird. Oh sure, there are plenty of weird animals out there in the wild kingdom


But still…the kangaroo lobby has been positioning them as a respectable and even loveable animal for years. They do their job nearly as well as the National Rifle Association too.

First of all, the way they stand makes them look like they’re always taking a dump. No really, doesn’t it?
I guess if you have to go out in the wild without a toilet, this is the best anatomy for doing so.

Second of all, what’s up with the tiny arms? They look like the wild animal version of bicycle racers with huge bulky legs and dinky little arms. Somewhere on the evolutionary chain they did a few too many squats and not enough curls.

Finally we have the pouch. I have to say, that while weird, the pouch is much handier than sticking your infant into your mouth and carrying them like the lions do. I mean what happens if the lion is tense that day? There goes junior…
I think in time evolution will give them one on their back and form a spout so they can have a built-in camelback device. That would be most handy…I mean it is flippin’ hot in Australia.

Another curiosity is that while they are herbivores (don’t eat meat), they don’t give off methane the way cows do. They’re like the “green” livestock! Scientists are looking for a way to make cows do the same. I hope I’m already dead by the time they start trying…I foresee a nightmare coming…

There has been a fair share of famous kangaroos in literature and movies. Of course we’ve got Kanga and Roo from Winnie the Pooh. But it makes you wonder just where Mr. Kangaroo is in that story. Nobody knows why he had to leave the hundred acres woods. I suspect foul play that has been swept under the rug…

35 comments:

Mrsupole said...

Wow this being first is getting harder and harder. But FOA.

Mrsupole said...

Okay, stop bad mouthing my possums. You know how I love my little possum family that comes to visit at night. And instead of a "pouch" they just put all the little possums on their back and stomach, then carry them around that way. Very cool to see.

Oh all right, I hate the little suckers and chase them out of the yard, but at the same time they are kinda of fun to play with. I have cornered them, then put the flashlight on them, left them, came back later and they are still frozen to the spot. Way too funny to do this to the stupid critters. But then again they are playing possum.

And what the heck kind of creature is that thing in the first picture. It is scary looking. Almost like a dog and a penquin mated together but left the nose out, along with a freaking body. Seriously Fido with flaps, winged feet and no snout.

A most fascinating vampire like creature. Okay, I will stop and look I haven't even taken my drugs yet or have I. Seriously this has to be Photoshopped, but a really good job. Wow, that is really cool.

God bless.

Mrsupole said...

Whoops, sorry to not mention the Kangaroo's but your the one who put that freaky pic up.

I did hear that Roo steaks are supposed to be really tasty. LOL

God bless.

Kurt said...

The non-farting cow will be a breakthrough for mankind.

Maureen said...

Tigger is the daddy.

That's why Roo has all that extra "spring" in his steps.

Because, as we all know:

The wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is Tiggers are wonderful things.
Their tops are made of rubbers
The bottoms are made of springs.
They're
Bouncy,
Flouncy,
Trouncy,
Pouncy,
Fun, fun, fun, fun, FUN!!!

(I guess he should have had his BOTTOM made of rubbers).

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

Perhaps she's hiding his remains in his pouch!

I like that cows fart. We have someone other than ourselves to blame global warming on!

Candie Bracci said...

LOL,the first picture is scary!

Me-Me King said...

OMG! What is that thing in the first picture? Creepy.

VE said...

mrsupole - Come on now...you want that first creature as a pet...

kurt - We might even be able to go back to using Crisco as a sun tan lotion...

maureen - Ha! I'm with you...I think Tigger had a lot of fun, fun, FUN!

perpetual chocoholic - Yes, I hope she cleans out that pouch every now and then. It's probably full of lint and change and old gum wrappers and stuff...

candie - That was the gnomes contribution to the post...

me-me king - Let's just say it'll keep burglers away...

Roy Scribner said...

Maybe Kanga's main squeeze was a Tiger?

Quirkyloon said...

Can't wait til you get to the letter "Q"! *wink, wink*

If I had a pouch I'd keep an extra bottle or two of diet Dr. Pepper. Hmm. Makes me wish I had pouch!

Jacki said...

Kangaroos are awesome...as with a lot of other animals from Australia. I'd love to cuddle with a koala.

Elizabeth said...

You made me realize why kangaroos creep me out. I've never really liked them but I couldn't put my finger on the reason why. But it's the small arms! Kinda like a T-Rex.

Gladys said...

Are you sayin that Pooh is the Baby Daddy? That would make sense but I personally always thought Pooh was gay then again I always thought Michael Jackson was too and he had kids...sort of.

Beth said...

If I develop a pouch from my continuous eating of Christmas shortbread & mint squares, am I at risk of becoming a member of the marsupial family?

Great post! Made me laugh!

ReformingGeek said...

For some reason, I want to find my old pogo stick.

Bounce. Bounce. Bounce. Bounce.

;-)

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Roy Scribner said...

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CatLadyLarew said...

Poor Kanga... single parenting is a bitch!

JeffScape said...

Maybe Roo's dad is Captain Kangaroo and CBS simply wouldn't lend the copyright?

Janna said...

I remember eating kangaroo jerky once. A local store had a selection of "wild game" jerkies... there was ostrich, alligator, kangaroo, wild boar... maybe rattlesnake... and others I can't remember.
If I remember correctly, alligator and kangaroo was good, but ostrich was really gamey. Can't remember if I liked the wild boar or not.

I guess the moral of the story is, if you don't keep moving, some company might turn you into jerky and sell you to weird people in a small town.

sexnfries said...

Really if you had a pouch like that you could make your own babies. I could imagine carrying around the kid in a pouch..oh wait I think they made one of those for parents. We are just kangaroos.

VE said...

roy - Ha! Well, Tiger did have a lot of main squeezes apparently

quirkyloon - I bet you would! No don't go trying to convince the gnomes to use readers for letters...once I go down that road there's no coming back until they're all done. I never even finished the blog spoofs (yes, I haven't forgotton...I just don't have the time over the holidays for those kinds of efforts)

jacki - Yes...they have a bunch of lovely poisonous snakes and spiders to pet too...

elizabeth - Good advice...never trust anyone with small arms...

gladys - I never thought Pooh was gay...I just thought he was asexual

beth - I've seen pictures of you...you don't look like the pouch type...

reforminggeek - They have really radical turbo-charged ones now that jump about eight feet into the air...

roy - I seem to get hit with these guys fairly regularly now. I'll just ignore them...I don't want to turn on passwords...

catladylarew - You got that right...

jeffscape - Ha! I never did trust that guy...or Mr. Green Jeans....

janna - Ostrich is gross...I've had a lot of weird meats and that one just tastes wrong...

sexnfries - Oh my gosh...you're right. That means I CAN crap anywhere with ease...nice...

Uncivil said...

Oh well, I was hoping for knockers and got kangaroos? From fun bags to pouches!
Let's see if I can guess "L"
hmmmmmmmm
Lion
Lizard
Labyrinth
Llama...hey that's L to the second power?
Lactate
How about a lazy lacating llama eaten by a lion while chasing a lizard in a labyrinth?

VE said...

uncivil - Those are all good guesses...but wrong...

Mrs. R said...

Question: how long does it take you to find/create/doctor these images every day? They're hysterical.

VE said...

mrs r - I have a system and it would scare you how quickly I can make a post...

Baino said...

Erm, we don't have opossums, just possums. Pouchy possums. And they are loveable as long as you don't live in New Zealand where they're feral. They aren't pointy like the American ones more like big bush babies. Talking of weird, we have Platypus, an egg laying marsupial with a beak, and echidna, a spiny ant eater that also lays eggs.

Be kind to the kanga now, they're environmentally friendly and very tasty, medium rare with a pepper sauce!

VE said...

baino - Now how did I KNOW you'd find this post eventually? You've got some weird ones over there...

Dee said...

i've always wondered where was Roo's dad? THey could have named a dad Kanga, the mom Roo and the Roo could have been pocket???

Megan said...

Is the whole first thing going to be over soon?

VE said...

dee - It's blatant stereotyping of kangaroo fathers to portray her as a victim...

megan - I don't think it'll ever be. Blame Kurt...he started it!

teeni said...

That dog-penguin morph was pretty freaky looking. I am going to have nightmares after seeing that. I just noticed your short fiction blog recently and will have to keep checking it out. On that same note, I'm not sure how you are able to keep two blogs going. One is enough work for me and that is why one will be retiring after I start up the new one. I'll still be at the tea room at least until August though so don't forget about me. :)

Jaime said...

you're uncovering all the hot topics... the big mystery on pooh corner. who is roo's daddy? maybe it's tiger?

lime said...

with the big tail and little arms i think they are mammalian t rexes.