Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Post Holiday Thoughts

Everybody enter the post holiday pool? You know, the one you make with all your family or friends to see who guesses correctly as to which house will have their Christmas lights up the longest. Those that keep them up all year long are exempt. They are in a laziness class all by themselves! Join in on the latest in blame fun…

My son wanted these upgrade drum pads for his Guitar Hero drum set. They were some obscure after-market items that had to be bought online and they cost damn near as much as the drum set itself. I thought…”No big deal, you just pop out the original and pop in the new ones.”

But noooo….

You have to open up the drum set. All 17,000 screws with special 13 sided hex wrench shapes like animals. Yes…it requires a tool not invented. Yes, adapting one of my 42 alan wrenches I do have nearly stripped most of the screws. Yes, I feared getting down to the last one only to have it strip and force me to bring in the chain saw. No, I’m not even going to admit that the wifey-poo did most of them because I was too inept to be trusted in attempting for fear of stripping them.

Once the patients internal organs were exposed, then it called for taking each drum pad and tracing the electronic wiring back to it’s tiny little motherboard or electronics. We had to cut the wiring seals that held down the wiring while making sure we didn’t cut the actual wires.

Then, we had to unscrew another 2500 tiny Phillips head screws because we had to reset the mounting brackets into the new drum pads. Once these were removed, we got to squeeze out these strange rubber mounting nipples (don’t go there…) and then reattach them into each new drum pad and ultimately onto the drum set shell.

Finally, we had to unplug and replace the wiring with the new ones. I really hadn’t signed up to do an all-day surgery on this drum set. I don’t do surgeries for a reason: patients die!

I was sure the damn thing wouldn’t work and after re-assembling the whole thing a miracle occurred: it worked the first time! That was good because nobody thought about testing it before re-screwing the 17,000 animal shaped hex screws back into their plastic well holes. Duh!

The things I have to go through as a parent in the name of simulated musical entertainment…


Oh…and I learned that having hardwood floors and a nine foot noble tree has disadvantages. Like when a character ornament falls from up near the top, it most certainly breaks into a bunch of pieces requiring super glue surgery only a gifted sculptor could tackle. Yep…the wifey-poo did that handy work too..

50 comments:

Mrsupole said...

Just getting on the computer and click FOA.

Mrsupole said...

Wouldn't it have been easier to just buy a new drum set with the new pads. Thank goodness it worked and you seriously hit the jackpot with wifey-poo.

And how come every time you tell us not to go there, my mind always goes there. I have such a well trained mind, it never does what it is told to do. But at least my fingers are listening and they refuse to type about where the mind went.

I hope you are planning to take wifey-poo out to a really nice dinner this coming weekend. After all those screws, she deserves it.

God bless.

subby said...

We actually have towns with by-laws restricting the length of time you can leave up holiday decor( outside, anyway ). And I can imagine this drum operation is much like taking off a car door panel( only that seems less frustrating after looking at this, heh... )

Anne said...

[shakes head sadly]

Unfinished Rambler said...

I can relate. My "wifey-poo" is definitely the more mechanically-inclined of the two of us. I would have just handed her the drum set and said, "Here, have fun."

Bonnie the Boss said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dee said...

basically that reminded me of taking my keys off of my laptop. Glad it works

Bonnie the Boss said...

Sounds like wifey-poo is an good asset to your home! Go wifey-poo!
Thank-you for giving me one more reason not to own that stupid game!

Chris Eldin said...

LOL!!! This post really really cracks me up because do you know how many toys are like this?!
:-) All for boys, too.

Wifey Poo sounds very nice and very patient.
:-)

Jacki said...

And here I thought assembling Barbie play sets was hard work. "Some Assembly Required" my ass! The things we do for our kids...I have a better appreciation of what my parents went through. :-)

Quirkyloon said...

LMBO! I love those kind of frustrating hours, because it's never just a moment, is it?

And like you, I hand it over to my hubbie-poo.

Then? My work is done!

The Incredible Woody said...

What we really want to know is your score on Guitar Hero? Because I. AM. AWESOME.

Maureen said...

Holy crap. Way too much work... Daughter has the white drum set for Rock Band. She is amazing on those things. Or I should say WAS amazing; they are presently sitting the the storage area OUTSIDE her room... gah.

Oh and ornaments are attracted to hard surfaces. Like my little glass balls in the pine swag of our tindlestone fireplace. This is the first year we have lost three on the stone hearth; because it's also the first year one of our cats has discovered this new favorite sleeping perch...

Brian Miller said...

think i might have had to buy a new kit...sounds like an amazing headache...

Roy Scribner said...

Lemme get this straight; you modded your son's guitar hero drum set? I am available for adoption.

Elizabeth said...

What was different about the additions to his drum set? Some friends got our daughter a music kit. It has bells and a tamborine and a triangle and xylaphone and a little drum. I don't know if I consider these people friends anymore!
;) Elizabeth

Kurt said...

DIY rocks.

Baino said...

Aww it's not laziness, I just like sparkly things. I took down the coloured ones but the icicle lights and the solar powered jobbies are staying! Patience is a virtue and a mechanical wife a necessity.

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

You must really love your son.

I don't put out Christmas lights just so I won't have to take them down;-)

angie said...

Now that's what I call love.....and the reason I don't buy glass ornaments. :)

CatLadyLarew said...

I would have just switched to the saxophone. Fewer parts.

Sarah said...

Getting tiny pieces of evergreen out of the cracks in old
hardwood floors = suckfest :-)

Gladys said...

Teeheeeheee VE said nipple...teeeheeeheee

Megan said...

I'm speechless.

carlae said...

A couple years ago our Christmas tree fell over TWICE breaking into a trizillion pieces many of our beloved ornaments. I guess the gravity was really strong in that part of the house.

nursemyra said...

You know that old joke about "what do you call someone who hangs out with musicians"?

A drummer

lifeshighway said...

First: If anyone leaves their ornaments up all year, I want a picture.

Second: I know of the animal hex shaped screws of which you speak, they are the devil.

Third: All kinds of impressed with ornament resuscitation.

VE said...

mrsupole - Unfortunately, you cannot buy these rock band games without their equipment...and the equipment only works on one gaming system and there are three different gaming systems. The drum pads are a lot more bouncy and a lot quieter than the original ones. Now he can play Rush's Tom Sawyer on expert level...

subby - Yes, don't even get started about car door panels! Uggh...

anne - They didn't warn me about these things in those parenting classes...

unfinished rambler - She would have handed me my suitcase and said the same... ;)

dee - You replaced them with the Helloy Kitty keys, didn't you?

bonnie - I can think of at least a 100 more reasons if you need them!

chris eldin - I know, I know. Don't even get me started on twisty ties and that imprenetrable plastic...

jacki - Don't worry, eventually she'll only be into clothes and make up...

quirkyloon - The hubby-poo eh? I'm going to pass that one to his office... ;)

incredible woody - I'm worthless at it. I can't do the guitar very well because it makes my broken arm really sore from the repetition, and I'm useless at drums...

maureen - Don't worry...I'm working on a plexiglass tree shield to protect the tree from pets...

brian - I'm just glad it worked in the end...we had $200 at risk in doing it...

roy - I certainly did! You can have his room when he leaves...

elizabeth - They're much bouncier, which is a big advantage when playing something fast. They're much quieter, which is a big advantage in the house!

kurt - DIY rocks only when you pull it off...

baino - patience is a virtue..avoidence is divine!

perpetual chocoholic - Sort of like me not getting a job so I don't have to go to work...

angie - I don't have a lot of glass ones but those Hallmark character ones from Disney, etc. etc. break too...

catladylarew - I suggested cow bell hero...but he didn't seem amused...

sarah - Having new hardwoods and dragging your kids along the floor to clean it...bonus

gladys - You had to go there...

megan - Then I shall send some speeches right over...

carlae - That happened to me one year (but on carpet so minimal ornament damage) and after that I rigged it with safety guy wires...

nursemyra - Ha! I haven't heard that one. I'm definitely passing that one on to my son. Thanks...

VE said...

lifeshighway - First: How many points will I get for an Xmas ornamented home in summer? Second: I somehow knew the devil had snuck into my house...the gnomes were restless. Third: She is amazing...plus...she's good at supergluing too! ;)

Roy Scribner said...

but you modded his guitar hero drum set - why do you think he'd ever leave?

ReformingGeek said...

What a great dad. I see Father...er..Sucker of the Year in your future!

Tom said...

u gotta win an award or something...that's an award i'll never win...i have trouble screwing in a light bulb....

and we lost about 1/4 of out ornaments to the puppy this year; whoops--no repair, straight to the trash bin! Lights will stay up until the temps climb above freezing and snow melts off the roof, heck mine still come on for 4 hours every night!

Janna said...

Thoughts:

1. I'm with Perpetual Chocoholic; if you never put any lights up, you never have to take them down.

2. Never have I been so glad that I have no clue what an Alan Wrench is. If this question came up on Jeopardy, I would have to say it's Mr. Goodwrench's nephew. And even then I wouldn't win because I'd forget to put it in the form of a question.

3. Likewise, a Hex Wrench would have to be when someone puts a hex on you and curses you with the task of upgrading a Guitar Hero drum set with a wrench that strips all the screws.

Ronda Laveen said...

You're not supposed to leave the lights up year round? What's the point of putting them up then?

I am Arizona; a person, not a place. said...

I had the ornaments off the tree on christmas night and the tree was in the alley in the morning before the kids got up. They weren't happy about the missing tree, so I got the Bad Mommy of the Year award. Luckily, the year ended a week later and now I've got a clean slate.

Rubber mounting nipples. I like that.


PS: I DO make snuggies. Want one?

Bonnie the Boss said...

Please type up all 100 reasons and address it to my teenage son! Thanks!

leelee said...

Nver mind GUITAR Hero...you and W-P are Drum Heroes..my hats off to you! And I never was able to repair a broken glass ornament..but then again..I no longer cry when one breaks...that took some doing..

HUGS!!

BlondeBlogger said...

Wow. Don't ever let your son tell you you don't love him!

Chris C said...

"I don’t do surgeries for a reason: patients die!"

hehe that was a great line.

Uncivil said...

GUITAR Hero!!!!!!aaagggghhhhhhh
How about Silent night!!!!

Collette said...

Wow! I think it would be easier to build a computer from scratch! I have no patience for such things. Glad it worked (for your wife's sake...lol)

lime said...

if your son ever says you don't love him point hm to this post. it's either love or insanity that motivated you to this task.

VE said...

roy - Well...you've got a point there...

reforminggeek - Oh...and just in case you were thinking...don't combine those two together...

tom - That's a good point...I forget some parts of the country a plenty frozen after Christmas and well, the suggestion to get up that ladder with your blow dryer and unfreeze those lights probably wouldnt' go over well...

janna - Ha! Alan Wrench...Then again, this was the only real stripping I've ever done...

ronda - It takes all the fun out of breaking the lights as you put them up and take them down. The lighting industry is counting on you to keep them going!

arizona - Now that is efficiency! The 24 hour Christmas! Wow...nice...

bonnie - Don't tempt me...Lime once said that pictures are worth a thousand words and so I left 1000 random words in her comments and demanded a picture...

leelee - Cry not...ebay had the replacements...

blondeblogger - I know...he should be cleaning more of the house to show his gratitude...

chris c - And a true one!

uncivil - It's worth the noise to keep them occupied. Imagine all the other damage they could create...

collette - I'm surprised I had the patience...

lime - Probably stubborness to have bought him the pads and not wanting to see them go to waste...

Serena said...

Aren't you glad you have a wifey-poo?:-)

VE said...

serena - I know...think of all the broken stuff I'd have around my house...

Jaime said...

i'm so glad that my son's too young for presents that require that much assembly... then again, it took 4 lawyers and 2 rocket scientists to put together a damn set of train tracks for him!

teeni said...

Whoa. I'm surprised it worked too. I was certain you were going to go on to tell us about how after going through all this trouble that it just was a waste of time. So I'm glad your efforts paid off. Of course, they should have deeply discounted this item for you because of all the work you had to do to use it. Sheesh. In other news, Guitar Hero IS a fun game. :)

VE said...

jaime - Wow...imagine the billing rate on that train set! Ha...

teeni - Yeah, they didn't even hint that there was some assembly required! Guitar Hero IS fun...when you don't have to prep like that...

Dennis the Vizsla said...

Dang, that's a lot of work to upgrade a pretend drum set! I hope he sounds like a pretend Neil Peart now that it's finished!

VE said...

dennis - Actually...he plays a mean Tom Sawyer...