Sunday, January 10, 2010

Preserving Humanity for All Time

I was feeling yucky the other day. Yucky helps describe my particular illness, doesn’t it? That’s the trouble with all these side effect details for medications on TV. Just say “May cause yuckiness”...it’s enough!

Anyway, I had the History channel on the TV and was falling in and out of sleep. The show was about Life after humans. I found it particularly interesting…I hope I’m there then…oh wait, that’s right, I’m a human (don’t even put in your snooty little comment about that fact here).

Apparently, according to this show, the only thing that will still be around 10,000 years after humans is Mt. Rushmore. Everything else will vanish…like my socks after doing laundry…like my reading glasses when I actually want to read….like my…you get the picture.

I’ve decided that’s terrible. Future aliens need to know about Fantastical Nonsense and all my great readers. So I’m taking the time to have each of the archive posts with comments engraved into hard plastic. Plastic has a lifetime of about 50 billion years so it should be around even when the sun goes out.

Just think, vastly superior alien civilizations are going to come down to Earth after we are all gone and they’re going to find my blog posts.

Where will I put them to keep them safe?

Easy…

If Mt. Rushmore is going to be the only thing that lasts in the long term, then I’ll put them in Abe Lincoln’s left nostril where they’ll be safe and sure to be found.

That’s right… Fantastical Nonsense will be the booger of humanity and the only source of knowledge of humanity. Imagine what they’ll think…

48 comments:

Mrsupole said...

I hope you feel better. And I hope you do get to be the booger of humanity. Just wonder what they will think a booger is. FOA

God bless.

subby said...

Heh, heh...what Mrsupole said...there's an old WKRP IN CINCINATTI reference to that, heee!

And with all the plastic we use, I doubt there'll be nothing left to discover, wot?

subby said...

And really VE, your blog posts would be much safer in Roosevelt's eye socket...stone noses have a habit of falling off, y'know...just look at the Sphynx...

Tom said...

there is a chamber behind the monument. probably just stuffed full of crap the park department has no other room for. You know, brooms, old personnel paperwork, lost ranger bras.

Collette said...

I just watched that show myself & found it pretty interesting.
Very good idea to keep your blogs alive as the booger of humanity. As long as the aliens don't take Mt. Rushmore as a threat & blow it up. But being on hard plastic disks, they should be ok, right?

Deb said...

What an honorable thing to do, putting you and all of us up Abe's nose, I am assuming by way of a rubber hose. Hopefully the aliens won't think that the dudes on Mt. Rushmore are a threat to them and nuke them.

Brian o vretanos said...

You'd better be careful that it's the same plastic they use to make kettles, so it doesn't melt.

Another option is to send your blog posts as radio signals into space. At some time millions of years from now, the aliens' SETI teams will pick these up and realise that there is finally intelligent life out there. They'll be so annoyed that they're not in time to get onto your blog roll that they'll invade the Earth and destroy Mount Rushmore, making your blog the only thing that survives us.

otin said...

They should rig mount Rushmore so that the presidents sneeze one after the other. They could make it like a fountain where they would blow water out of their nostrils. I have way too much time on my hands lol!

CatLadyLarew said...

That's you, VE... the booger of humanity!

Quirkyloon said...

A VE Time Booger Capsule.

If that's not fantastical, I don't know what is!

ha!

Unfinished Rambler said...

We already know what they'll think...

"So this is where humanity went wrong."

:)

Baino said...

And I thought cockroaches would be the only things to survive humans!

Chris Eldin said...

Awww...hope you feel better! My kids love that show, btw! I have to admit I like pretty much all the shows they watch.

Roy Scribner said...

That sounds kind of expensive - couldn't you just print them out and stuff them into hotdogs?

ReformingGeek said...

And then Abe blew his nose.

Oops.

;-)

Carla said...

Brilliant, right up his nose.

nursemyra said...

"wrapped in plastic" always makes me think of Twin Peaks

Jaime said...

what are you going to do if his nose slides off his face? kind of like when the old man in the mountain just crumpled... then how would the aliens learn about humanity?

Candie Bracci said...

Lol,I like that post!

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

Good thinking! I've decided I want to be cremated (preferably not 'till I'm dead) and have my ashes painted into an oil painting. Perhaps a portrait;-)

Megan said...

Yucky over here too. Hope you feel better soon.

There was something on the History Channel that wasn't about WW2???

Elizabeth said...

Wow, the aliens are going to think we were big giant people!

Uncivil said...

I don't get it? The yellow arrow is pointing to the right nostril???

Serena said...

I'm about OD'd on Yuck myself. Way too much of it going around! As for what's in Abe's nose, I just hope those future explorers don't poke around in there and yell "Yuck!" before realizing what they've found.:)

Janna said...

Dibs on the right nostril.

When the aliens arrive they can find Fantastical Nonsense on one side and The Jannaverse on the other.

They can form their entire opinion of mankind based on a stone carving and two blogs.

The Incredible Woody said...

I've always wanted a picture of myself at Mt. Rushmore picking Lincoln's nose.

Dee said...

was it a pick or a dig?

Chris C said...

Weird. I was just watching Secrets in America and they said there is a time capsule buried at Mt. Rushmore.

You work fast!

monica said...

hope Abe isn't feeling yuckie and gets a sneeze attack...

lime said...

ok, i'm gonna hide my posts under teddy's moustache.

Maureen said...

What are they going to think???

Well that bright flash in the galaxy was them obliterating the Earth.

For their own sanity's sake.

angie said...

I never knew until today that I'd like to be stored on plastic in Abe's left nostril...........

VE said...

mrsupole - Hopefully something really treasured...

subby - You'll have to dig it up then...everything will be covered with nature again...imagine that...

subby - Some stone definitely does but they are in solid granite and in a very stable environment so it's less likely to happen...

tom - Ha! The secret lost ranger bras...I've read about those!

collette - Yes, I don't think really hard plastic discs will get harmed from a simple alien blowing blast...

deb - All aliens are friendly...

brian - They were talking about that on the show. Apparently after time, those signals just turn into noise...

otin - Ha! Of course, theme Rushmore was the original plan but you know how budget cuts go...

catladylarew - I like it!

quirklyloon - What could be more fitting than that?!

unfinished rambler - I've already ruined many songs, events and movies for readers, I guess this is inevitable over time...

baino - Mostly its cats. Just like in the Collaseum (however you spell that) in Rome. The flourish there while you don't see a single gladiator any more...

chris - Kids watching educational TV? No way!!!! Don't worry...I was only feeling tired for half a day...no real yuckies for me...

roy - Hot dogs will all be eaten during the zombie apocolypse in the last days...

reforminggeek - Don't worry...I tied them to some long nose hairs and they're safe from sneezing and blowing...

carla - Seemed like the appropriate and safe place...

nursemyra - Strangely...I never saw that show...besides, I thought it was about something entirely different

jaime - Well, according to cable TV, this mountain is solid granite in a stable weather environment. No earthquakes or storms to affect them. It's very unlikely...

candie - And assuming Abe's nose survives, Aliens are going to know you like it...

perpetual - You don't want somebody to smoke your ashes like Keith Richard did with his dads?

megan - Imagine that! Next up they'll blow the lid off the Korean War...

elizabeth - They'll also think we were only heads...

uncivil - That's because you lean too far to the right! Ha!

serena - Fortunately treasure hunters are too greedy for that...

janna - We'll call it Jantastical!

incredible woody - Ha! You're one of them, eh?

dee - Ha! I've got a lot of posts so that means a lot of plastic. It's definitely got to be a dig...

chris c - What? The secret is already out? Those gnomes...

monica - Fortunately Abe never lied or sneezed...

lime - That's a good choice too. Hope he doesn't shave though...moustaches aren't the fashion norm you know...

VE said...

maureen - That's the trouble with aliens...no sense of humor!

angie - Ha! The big realizations are always the most shocking...

Kurt said...

You mean VEFN isn't already the booger of humanity?

VE said...

kurt - Of course it is...but the aliens don't know that yet...

Gladys said...

VE, that'snot funny. Oh wait yes it is. Booger! teeheee....

Brian Miller said...

you are snot going to do that...sorry, that was horrible. hope you are feeling better.

Chris Wood said...

Well, the booger of humanity is looking good. There's a sentence I never thought I'd type.

gab said...

Well, I guess I just have to break my new rule of just reading and no comments lol....Oh wait I didnt say that! Ok when you go to place those great blog pages that you have into hard plastic (lol) make sure you stop at my place either on your way there or back. I'm about 79 give or take miles east of Pierre. Dont worry I'll leave the light on for ya!

MJ said...

The crud must be spreading around the blogosphere, because I have it too.

Oh, and a note for future civilizations: I sure hope grandpas have evolved to the point of having better jokes. The funniest things any of our grandfathers ever did was fart soft enough that they couldn't hear, yet everyone else could. All their jokes, however, were groan worthy. Live long and prosper, bitches.

VE said...

gladys - Life without humans is very funny...for the wildlife, that is...

brian - "Mr. Words" gives me the old snot joke? Ha!

chris wood - See how I open your writing world to bigger possibilities!

gab - Wow, you're close to Mt. Rushmore. I haven't been there since I was a kid but if I get back ever...deal!

mj - It's the years of spousal exposure they have...drives them silly...

JenJen said...

Lincoln will have a stuffed up nose for eternity.

how...charming...
ew ew ew.

Jason said...

Going to add your link now. Take care.

Jason
HilariousHeadlines TALK

VE said...

jenjen - I'm always looking for a confirmed "ew" comment. Thanks!

jason - I'm almost there too. Thanks for the link!

The Silver Fox said...

For the aliens' sake -- since they'll read this -- I should state that the heads on Mount Rushmore are not a natural rock formation. Now if I could only explain that to too many misinformed Americans...

VE said...

silver fox - That's why we won't survive...

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