Thursday, January 28, 2010

VE's Guide for Making an Impression

Well looky here…it’s Theme Thursday again. But this time I’m ready. The theme this week is IMPRESS.

The world is just full of people trying to make an impression. And there are way too many clever people out there so it’s really getting hard to make an impression.

Look at movies: You want to make the biggest selling movie ever made? Well then you’re going to have to come up with something cleverer than tree hugging aliens lamenting over the evil humans felling their big tree. I mean come on, a new one will grow back that big in about 10,000 years…open up some “green condos” and get over it.

Look at houses: It’s really impossible these days to be impressive with your house. Go ahead; build that architecturally cool art deco house with illegal Brazilian jungle wood to impress your neighbors. Eventually your neighbor will top your effort…

Still…it is possible to look impressive. VE has selected a few things to get you noticed.

First…what you drive. This will get you to stand out…

Next…what you wear. This will get you to stand out…

Finally…where you work. You need people to be impressed with your career…


Of course...I cannot take that job...the wife-poo wasn't impressed!

56 comments:

Mrsupole said...

Thank goodness you are on time and so am I. FOA

Mrsupole said...

Okay, what I am impressed with is that you were on time and that you were also able to take an aerial picture of my vacation home. Dang it VE I told you to stop stalking me.

Although I am sure that most of the males who visit this post will soon be dreaming of Jamaica-mon.

I sure hope that model lady wiped her ass before getting on that horse and just imagine having to clean up the mess she made on the horse.

Okay, now I have gone into Grossville, which is a little game I made up to compete with Farmville.

God bless.

PS....that is one nice car/bike.

Ronda Laveen said...

Oh, carp! Yes, carp...the Mrs beat me. My reader said this had been up 4 minutes when in VE=reality, the post has been up 30 min. Okay, time to read the post.

Ronda Laveen said...

oh, actors with tats.

I thought it read: actors with tarts.

About an equal amount I surmise. But that is my own personal survey.

Tom said...

that fruit tree guy is out standing in his field.

Uncivil said...

We always have to keep up with the Jones's don't we. And I don't even like the Jones!

Brian Miller said...

what a cool car...a new meaning to the term side car perhaps. personally i like the smaller house.

Unfinished Rambler said...

I don't think my wifey poo would be impressed either. I, on the other hand....well, really, in case she reads this....I am appalled!!!! Appalled at your attempt to get cheap ratings! ;)

Magpie said...

Very nicely done and you were able to touch on more than just the "bare" facts!!!

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

Ewww again VE! There's no dignity in getting on a horse naked.

subby said...

I want that bike...er car... er whatever...heh, heh...

mama-face said...

Ha. I couldn't even tell what was wrong with the car...The red is blinding. I like it though.

Is that what bareback riding is?

Elizabeth said...

Sure, the house might be huge, but can you imagine vacuuming all that?? No thank you!

ReformingGeek said...

Ouch! My eyes hurt and I'm so offended.

Yeah, all that red on that car is blinding.

The Incredible Woody said...

Nude? On horseback? I can't even imagine just how painful that riding would be!!

Quirkyloon said...

I have 16 personalities and only one wants to get noticed. The rest of us are just fine in the background.

JenJen said...

um.
I wouldn't want my hoo-ha on top of a gnarly horse's back. Or on one of those saddle thingies.

EW.

Roy Scribner said...

I'm impressed that you found a way to incorporate naked women on horseback into this post.

VE said...

mrsupole – From the looks of the guy with the model job, I’d say he probably wiped her ass! Oh, and grossville sounds like my kind of game! I’d rule that one…

ronda – She’s quick! As I always say…an actor with tarts is better than an actor with farts…

tom – Ha! Punishing! I like it…

uncivil – When the Jones try to come near me, the gnomes introduce them to Smith and Wesson…

brian – It is much easier to vacuum the small house. Plus, you don’t have to take the subway to get to the bathroom like you do in the neighbor’s house…

unfinished rambler – I know, I know…a pathetic attempt to get cheap ratings. My ad revenues will suffer, I fear…

magpie – But I touched those a lot more. If you’re gonna do something you have to do it right…

perpetual chocoholic – I was just starting the drum roll for the “Ewww”…

subby – Bike? Car? How about we call it a “Bar”…

mama-face – Well…her back is bare! I think “blinding red” is a new Crayola color…

Elizabeth – You could get some of those vacuum robots; should take a couple of weeks…

Reforminggeek – Don’t put on your rose colored glasses…it doubles the effect!

Incredible woody – I don’t really think those girls are intelligent enough to actually ride the horses. I’m pretty sure sitting there for drooling cameramen is about all they’re capable of…

Quirkyloon – You should invite each of them up for a guest post!

Jenjen – Ahhhh….another “EW”….I feel my work is done here…

Roy – Sometimes I amaze even myself…especially when the wifey-poo reads the blog and my readership is about 70% female. Almost boggles your mind as to what else I can get away with…

Wings said...

What can the model-assisting dude put on his resume?

Maureen said...

You want to impress? Then simply slap an Apple logo on it and no one will care how crappy it really is.

It worked for the iPad.

Dreamhaven said...

Ooh, riding a horse like that would definitely leave an impression. I felt their pain.

Happy TT

freetheunicorns said...

Horse boy, kudos to you. For I'm sure the pay is atrocious but when I think about the perks, well, they are priceless.

Roy said...

Impressive!

I was noting a bit of coincidence here, too. You have that picture of the extremely cantilevered modern house included. Well, while I was doing the photo shoot yesterday to get shots for yesterday's and today's posts, there was a program on the radio talking about Villa Tugendhat in Brno, Czech Republic, one of the first modernist houses, designed by Mies Van Der Rohe in 1928-30. Weird how these things work, eh?

aladdinsane12 said...

i have a job interview tomorrow, so i need to find a way to impress! maybe i should show up naked and on a horse, like those models in jamaica...

Stephanie said...

That guys getting in a nice grope while he's at it... I can't imagine riding a horse while naked.

Kate Hanley said...

I like your idea of calling the car with a sidebike a bar (but then I like bars) and I agree with Maureen slap an apple logo on it and call it an iBar! Great take on the theme.

Kris said...

That lady in the final photo sure left an impression on me.

VE said...

wings - Photos! Photos will impress any would-be hiring manager...

maureen - I'm sensing some hostility toward Apple right now. Remember an Apple gadget a day keeps retirement away...

dreamhaven - Better her than me though...ouch!

freetheunicorns - Can't say I'm just about the money...

roy - That is weird. Wow, that was a long time ago for houses designed like that...definitely ahead of his time...

aladdinsane12 - Yes, I do believe that would make an impression. I was going to simply suggest using my trademarked pop up resume format...

stephanie - Those are the fringe benefits...

kate - Can you really get arrested for drunk driving if you never leave the bar?

kris - Should that impression last more than four hours...consult your physician...

Betty said...

Heh! Love the tree/psychedelic mushroom playing the guitar. As for the bare-backed riding .... :D

Funny Girl said...

IMRESSIVE!

Funny Girl said...

IMRESSIVE!

tattytiara said...

You're suggesting people aren't impressed with the simple fact that I get up in the morning?

Janna said...

I love the freaky weird house that sticks out into the middle of nowhere for no reason!

I love the bizarre hybridization of car and cycle, even though I might wish it was yellow instead. Possibly black.

And even though I probably wouldn't get too close to the guitar-tree dude (100 feet sounds about right), I suspect he must be a really fun guy.

That's "fun guy"... not "fungi".

Though some trees do have fungi.
.

Annie Ha said...

I could live in that castle...

Chris C said...

Ok I call BS on one of the pictures. There is no way trees can play guitar. They can only play the drums.

monica said...

well, I am impressed by.... you VE, and your imagination and creativity! impressed and amazed...

Baino said...

Hay! Lay off the blue man he's almost as gorgeous as Hugh Jackman. As for the nudie horse riding..the 'assistant'might be having a grand old time but I wouldn't want to be the model. .@ChrisC..hehe.

VE said...

betty - Rumor has it the tree guy does parties...

funny girl - And twice so!

tattytiara - I am. It's more than I've done some mornings...

janna - Would you find it odd that the tree guy lives in that house, drives that car and has a day job helping naked models onto horses?

annie ha - Your home is your castle...mine just takes less of a commute to get to the other side...

chris c - You're right...it's probably not a real guitar...

monica - Awww..thanks. I'll put you down for a reference when I need work...

baino - Somebody has it in for the blue man...I'm not sure about those ears though...and don't even get me started about what a nuisance a tail would be...

Megan said...

If they are models, what are they modeling?

Jaime said...

those models... something about them just makes me hope they forgot their suntan lotion and get a really nasty sun burn

CatLadyLarew said...

I have a guitar and there's a motorcycle sitting in my driveway... are you impressed? No? Damn!

yellojkt said...

Wouldn't that be 'your house' in the second picture? Unless you are the house.

Jasmine said...

I don't know why I don't visit here more often. Your posts are so funny. Impressive humour :)

teeni said...

Dang! I really wish they would bring Johnny Carson back from the dead to host the show. I miss him. You could guest host. :)

VE said...

megan - I'll give you one guess...

jaime - Don't worry...I'm sure they're that dumb...

catladylarew - Sounds like you're on your way to impressiville!

yellojkt - I was hoping nobody would notice that. I saw them but I'd already made the jpeg file and didn't want to redo it for those typos. But thanks for pointing them out!

jasmine - I don't know either! You should be ashamed! ;)

teeni - Aww...that was a nice compliment. Johnny was the best!

lime said...

i think i'll stick to being wholly unimpressive.

Anne said...

i always like the pictures of houses you find.

VE said...

lime - That comes naturally to most of us...

anne - Thanks. I always try to find ones that aren't your average house. I hate "average"...

Dr Zibbs said...

Now that's a job!

C said...

LOL! Oh, no man would ever want that last job, eh? ;p

VE said...

dr zibbs - When I reach for impressive, I go all the way...

c - Of course not...what if it rains?

The Silver Fox said...

I'm trying to catch up on reading your posts, so I'm jumping all around, but are they still taking applications for that job in Jamaica?

VE said...

silver fox - Alas...somebody filled it! ;)

The Silver Fox said...

No pun intended, I'm sure!

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