Friday, January 22, 2010

W is for WIRELESS


For the letter W, let’s focus on....

WIRELESS

Isn’t it a curious thing how technology and progress moves on and before you know it things that seemed miraculous are suddenly burdensome when we look back at them now what with all the changes to their evolution.

Consider the wireless phenomenon. First it was computers. We had to free the computer so we could take it to the lazy boy chair and eat dinner while playing Prisoner of Deadzone for 27 hours and catching the latest TV show. We needed wireless. Those old computers tied us down. They were burdensome.

Then the internet came along and wowed us with its amazing connectivity. But after awhile, we realized that once again we were tied down with clunky dial-up modems that spoke in some alien language we didn’t understand when it connected. We needed wireless. Those old modems tied us down. They were burdensome.


Even the telephone was a wonder to behold at one time. To be able to speak to somebody so far away without worrying about them seeing that you hadn’t showered in days and your hair stood straight up. Amazing. Convenient. But then you wanted to have phone sex without your parents hearing you and the only place the phone cord would reach that had any privacy was in the cabinet under the sink. You needed wireless. Those corded phones held you down. They were burdensome.

Sure! We got laptops and wireless networks, 3G, 4G, Bee Gees, cell phones, PDAs, navigation systems etc. etc. But why stop there? There are plenty of things that have and can go wireless too.

Take the eye glasses…

Heck, they’ve been wireless for years. I think we need wireless telephone poles

Why not? We’ve already got wireless lamps

We’ve already got wireless refrigerators

We’ve already got wireless TVs

We’ve already got wireless toasters

And all of those we considered it an improvement to ADD the wires! Go figure…

48 comments:

Allyson said...

Well that's some fun brain candy for a rainy Friday morning. I giggled...and I'm still only on my first cup of coffee. As the daughter of a computer programmer, I do appreciate you whisking me away down memory lane with the pic of the antiquated computer. So many memories of chips and motherboards and exclamations of motherfu...oh well, never mind. I'm sitting here trying to figure out what I would love most to be wireless...and it all already is. I'll get back to you after the espresso kicks in...

Mrsupole said...

Dang it, take a nap and get second, I am oh so slipping away.

Mrsupole said...

Oh and my brain is now wireless to think of anything nonsensical to say except, Good Night, Sleep Tight, and why are these dumbass brain sleeping test wires not wireless?

God bless.

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

Wow! I haven't been this far up the list in a very long time!

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

I'll be impressed when we have wireless wires.

Quirkyloon said...

"All wired up
Now I believe there comes a time
All wired up
When everything just falls in line
All wired up
We live an'learn from our mistakes
All wired up, wired up, wired up
The deepest cuts are healed by faith
Now I believe there comes a time
When everything just falls in line."

Yes, I'm singing. It's been awhile.

Roy Scribner said...

Yikes, I owned that exact U.S. Robotics (now 3com) modem! I don't remember what I did in those early computer days - I know I landed on the moon a lot and, later on in college, I played a hell of a lot of Load Runner - but those early text-only days are a forgotten memory.

The Incredible Woody said...

For everything to be so wireless, I sure do have a lot of cords...

Brian o vretanos said...

The problem with all these wireless gadgets is that they have a tendency to get lost or forgotten.

How many times have you tried to phone someone, but couldn't reach them because they (a) went out and forgot to take their phone with them, (b) left their phone on the train, (c) were still frantically ripping their house apart looking for the phone when it stopped ringing?

VE said...

Allyson – Wow…bold of you to fetch the first position in the comments! I know a few readers that will have raised eyebrows for that! Ha. You’re right…everything seems to have gone wireless. Even bras! Err…so I’m told…

Mrsupole – You are struggling this year but competition is tough during the winter months when nobody goes outside except to get nostril hair icicles…

Perpetual chocoholic – You know…The early bird gets the headache…

Quirkyloon – Ha! Excellent. Maybe Starbucks should use your version of that Pat Benetar song. Oh yes…don’t think I don’t know my music…sing on!

Roy – I know…I had the gnomes sneak into your garage to take the picture of that modem! They borrowed the car for awhile…don’t worry…those are good retreaded tires they put on it…

Incredible woody – I know…I have an entire cord of wood over at the cabin…ridiculous!

Brian – I just hire those geocache people and tell them to find it. They love looking in ridiculous places for things not important to them!

Gladys said...

Yes why not go backwards in technology? Get rid of wires, running water, shelter...or just go to Haiti.

The mad woman behind the blog said...

I was just lunching w/ my boss and coworker (60 and 84) and they were talking about texting being the death of our society.
Funny how this conversation could have been the exact same 20 years ago about the world wide web or 60 years ago about television.

And I'm w/ Woody. All tied up for being 'wireless.'

Megan said...

Bread toasted over a campfire tastes like a campfire. Ick.

ReformingGeek said...

I think we need a cheap replacement for copper wires so thieves will stop stealing it.

Ain't technology grand?

subby said...

One of our libraries has a "wireless" tv like that one! But the reception is horrible :( And hey, cars have been rendered wireless( thanks to that On-Star thing )...

Tracie said...

I'll stick with my wired toaster and fridge. K'thx.

lime said...

ha! what an excellent point you make!

JenJen said...

I LOVED this post.

Baino said...

Hmmm not all that impressed with Wireless internet this week having spent hours developing a very close relationship with Tasha the South African Helldesker! Not at all lekker shit bro!

Nessa said...

Very funny retro wireless things.

Boy Meets Girl in 55

Nessa said...

PS - I have no good or funny excuses. I'm just pathetic.

Boy Meets Girl in 55

Unfinished Rambler said...

I can't wait for X, Y and Z. They ought to be real humdingers...and then where are you going to go? Will you start over or will you do numbers? Hey, there's an endless theme... :)

Speaking of themes, since you didn't do Theme Thursday with Bread, I decided to do it for you: http://www.unfinishedrambler.com/2010/01/introducing-greatest-thing-since-sliced.html

I even included a link to your Fantastical post.

carlae said...

I have a wireless dryer.

Jeff said...

56k... heh. I remember upgrading from my 28k modem and thinking how cool it was that I doubled my speed. Oh well, everything is relative I guess.

Annie Ha said...

I've recently re-discovered the joy of earphones. They are wired. How droll!

Elizabeth said...

My toddler drops a lot of food when she eats, luckily I have my wierless vacuum. It's called Fred and Tess :)

thinkinfyou said...

Don't ever talk to me about wireless things, I'm still angry about my "wireless" internet being out for the last month!!

colbymarshall said...

This kind of makes me want to put on a puppet show...

Chris C said...

I think it was the Onion that had a parody story a while back about a guy who invented a remote control for a remote control.

Uncivil said...

They even make wireless bras?????
Who'd a thunk it?

CatLadyLarew said...

Funny, that... Let's hear it for wireless bras! No more torture!

gab said...

lol too funny. I can remember streching our phone cord out so badly that all the little curls went straight. it only took me about 10 -15 calls for me to straighten it. And we love out doors toasters. Only thing is if it has rained or is raining the bread gets just a little soggy.

Janna said...

At least human beings are still wireless.

At least I think I am.

Hold on, lemme check to make sure...

Heyyy... wait a minute; how long has THAT been there?

teeni said...

I HATE all the wires behind my entertainment center. They seem to attract all the dust in the universe to accumulate there and form the largest dust bunnies I've ever seen. But then I worry about wireless radiation so I'm just gonna keep getting larger televisions and wireless devices so I can sit farther and farther away from them. ;)

Tom said...

someday we'll all need wires to survive, when we become motorized robotic machines! Sorry, i'm a little tired.

Dennis the Vizsla said...

If you'll excuse me, I'm going to sit down at that old computer for a few rounds of "Hunt the Wumpus".

aladdinsane12 said...

the world is getting too obsessed with wirelessness. i can't think of a single situation where i would require my printer to be wireless.

anyways, i think i prefer the "wireless toaster" to a real toaster. makes better marshmallows.

VE said...

Gladys – At least Haiti is warm…

Mad woman – It is getting worse though. My kids don’t even talk; they text…

Megan – If you slather enough jam or peanut butter it usually drowns it out though…

Reforminggeek – Maybe use that irritating plastic they put things for sale in that nobody can get open\

Subby – Cars are wireless until I have to charge my cell phone from the lighter…

Tracie – You’re missing out…they are so…connected…

Lime – I observe nonsense so you don’t have to…

Jenjen – Excellent…because I charge double for those that love it as opposed to those that just liked it…

Baino – Sounds like an unusual relationship…I’ve been to South Africa…I think I met her

Nessa – It’s true..isn’t it

Unfinished rambler – You’re putting a lot of pressure on me for the last three letters. I charge extra for pressure! Oh, and thanks for the call out on your blog too…

Carlae – Is it out back on clothes line?

Jeff – Well I used to have to throw the computer over to the neighbors yard to connect us…

Annie ha – Yeah…what’s up with wired earphones? The bother…

Elizabeth – Excellent. I see you know all about these wireless things…

Thinkfyou – If you’d just been nicer to that technician…

Colby – I knew you would get that urge…

Chris c – That’s excellent…wish I’d thought of that

Uncivil – Go figure ;)

Catladylarew – But torture is so relaxing…

Gab – See…you were one of those that helped create the wireless phone revolution!

Janna – Look at some of those kids with the nose rings and chains…looks pretty wired to me…

Teeni – That’s an excellent point…pretty soon we’ll have to sit in the neighbors house to watch our TVs they’re getting so big

Tom – I love your optimism…

Dennis – Did anyone ever catch the Wumpus?

Aladdinsane12 – You are right…every time I put marshmallows in my toaster it’s just a mess!

subby said...

VE, DANG! Forgot about that one!

VE said...

subby - Gotcha

subby said...

VE you knew you would...eventually. Now if only we had wireless Xmas tree lights!! So close...

Secretia said...

Freedom and multi-tasking are the parents of wireless.

Secretia

Jaime said...

damn wireless technology. it's what makes me carry around 2 damn phones all the time. :(

Collette said...

Well, usually I'm pretty wired myself. Too much caffeine, I guess. I don't think I could be wireless or unwired/de-wired/diswired?

Maureen said...

"3G, 4G, Bee Gees"

Ahahahaha! Love the logic, er, illogic of it all. Excellent VE.

VE said...

subby - That would be handy!

secretia - True...freedom to do nothing would be nice...

jaime - Does one keep the other company? Is it so you don't lean to one side?

collette - I went off caffeine recently. Of course...I don't do anything so that helped...

maureen - I'm glad you noticed one of my favorite little bits in there...

The Silver Fox said...

Some consider electric cars to be an improvement over the gasoline engine types. But don't you have to plug the car in to recharge it?

If somebody already mentioned that, sorry. But I didn't wanna wade through 8,000,000 comments.

VE said...

silver fox - That is the trouble...