What? You made a New Years Resolution? Oh brother…come on…sing it with me…you know the tune…The Beatles – Revolution….VE style…
You say you made a resolution
Well, you know
We all fail down the road
Ever since we began evolution
Well, you know
Failures piling up like a bad commode
But when you talk about improvement
Don’t you know you can count me out
Cause everything’s gonna be
All right, All right, All right
Seriously, what is it with everyone and these damn resolutions every year? The health gyms are crammed full with people over-exercising, the medical facilities are then crammed full with people who did the over-exercising.
I seriously think that I can make certain companies more money. Lazy-Boy should raise their prices on recliners about mid February. The over-achievers that couldn’t make it will be there buying. Oh, and snack foods…raise those prices right about then too. Yep, they’ll be hitting it hard by then.
Now me…I have one resolution: Live forever. So far, so good!
Why don’t people start with small resolutions and just see what it feels like to complete them. You know, things like this:
- Don’t pee in the shower
- Don’t pick your nose and then scoop out some of the skippy peanut butter from the jar with your finger
- Stop checking out “racks” and “packages” first and faces second (come on now, you can do it)
Forget about those ridiculous ones that you won’t do:
- Convert home movies into DVDs
- Efficient roadway merges
They’re impossible. Don’t torture yourself.
Hey…I’m just the messenger…