Sunday, February 21, 2010

Things I Haven't Done Yet...

Play “Where’s the Vet?” An actual veteran is placed somewhere in the city with a cardboard sign. You participate in teams of two and race around the city trying to find the one authentic vet begging for money. Winners go to a secret beg-free spa location run by the Banking organizations.

Create a crossword puzzle using clever, difficult clues that don’t correspond at all to the puzzle in any way. Then, billing it as the ‘Real’ world’s hardest crossword puzzle, unleash it onto the crossword sites and watch the spectacle. Those people are fanatics and will kill each other trying to solve it. What fun.

Run a giant clear hamster tube from neighborhood house to neighborhood house so that we can all share having a community hamster and in return they’d have an awesome activity track.

Finish my clone batch so that I can have one of my clones deal with relatives, one of my clones getting higher level college degrees for me, one of my clones working and making me money, one of my clones doing all the things I don’t want to do like dishes and garbage and folding laundry.

Create a floating home which I tether from my property but then float over the top of my neighbor’s until they complain that I’m on their property at which point I’ll say, “Not touching…”

36 comments:

Mrsupole said...

Phew, was just having connection problems and just got it fixed on time. FOA

God bless.

Collette said...

These are wonderful ideas! I have always thought of having at least one clone to go to work for me. But seeing the ideas you have for them makes it much more sense. Each has their own duties & an amazing amount of work gets done.

Kurt said...

Best new phrase of 2010: community hamster.

subby said...

I can say I've never come to blows while attempting a crossword...

And make sure you steer clear of the power lines on the latter one here ;)

Mrsupole said...

BTW I have tried that floating home thingy and it popped, then landed in the neighbors yard across the street, since I had such a long tether. I barely made it out of there before the police came and whew, I was worried that I was going to be as famous as the Balloon Boy.

By the way it was the hamster who ate a hole in the floaty thingy, which caused it to pop, and the rest is history.

God bless.

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

I like the idea of the floating home, only I want to change it to a hedge because I know that already bugs my neighbour. It would be nice to have a come back to her complaints!

Perpetual Chocoholic said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mama-face said...

lol. When I was a kid I dreamed of the hamster tunnel thingamajig.

So, what's the story behind the Vet's?

CatLadyLarew said...

Now that's a bucket list I can live with!

Off to play "Where's the Vet"...

ReformingGeek said...

Community hamster. Why didn't I think of that?

Sheesh!

Gladys said...

I am not cleaning the poo out of that tube!

Quirkyloon said...

Oh I much meaner than VE.

I thought the floating home would float over certain homes and then *plop* went the sewage!

Dennis the Vizsla said...

RE: The clones, one word: "Multiplicity".

Elizabeth said...

Once I realized you meant veteran and not veterinarian it made more sense. kinda.

gab said...

I agree with Elizabeth Once I knew which was which it made more sense. But I like that floating over the neighbors and saying Im not touching? can you see your self standing at the edge of your property and taking a leak? LOL still not touching.
And while your clones are running around I hope your resting and thinking more what to write and make us laugh stop and ponder and wonder why we didnt think of that!

Tom said...

great, every time the damn hamster escapes would be into my house. Sorry, i've had enough of hamsters for this lifetime.

aladdinsane12 said...

these are all brilliant ideas! i'm pretty sure the hamster would die of exhaustion, though. that's a long distance to travel! and i think your floating home should be a giant square with a square-shaped hole in it, so you can actually float down and surround your neighbor's home. that'd get 'em pissed off!

Janna said...

I'm with Dennis; the clones made me think of Multiplicity!

The only problem with the hamster is that it would never get fed because everyone would think someone else was doing it.

I am really excited about the crossword puzzle idea. Sadistic yet beautiful.
Watch the local papers.

The Incredible Woody said...

How about a house made of pods with tubes running from room to room? Then you could be the hamster.

Roy Scribner said...

This is a standard comment that I've cloned across several humor blogs.

VE said...

Mrsupole – You had hours before the next commenter…no worries…

Collette – I think clones would be handy…one of us has to have a good hair day…

Kurt – It does sound kind of trendy…

Subby – Yes…power lines might be a problem unless I can tap into free electricity…

Mrsupole – I never said hamsters weren’t mischievous…

Perpetual chocoholic – A floating hedge…hmmm…you’re going to have to have those foot jetpacks to trim it then…

Mama-face – We have beggers everywhere around here and more than half of them “claim” to be former vets. It’s a cliché…

Catladylarew – Watch out for the psycho ones…

Reforminggeek – Because I think of things that people are afraid to…

Gladys – Hi pressure flush through the tube…just don’t live at the end of the tube…

Quirkyloon – I know…and here they complained about the waterfall…

Dennis – Wasn’t that a Michael Keaton movie?

Elizabeth – Yes…your version would be MUCH tougher…

Gab – I see a couple of people thought of vets as something different. Interesting. Oh, and I’m back from San Francisco so I’ll be on top of new posts and visiting blogs here soon…

Tom – We’ll make your tube section a “no exit” piece…

Aladdinsane12 – A surrounding home…good idea…

Janna – Hamsters have a way of finding food…and…I knew YOU would enjoy the puzzle one…

Incredible woody – Does that mean I get to poop everywhere without concern?

Roy – Did your clone post your cloned comment?

Roy Scribner said...

I don't have time to answer that right now - I've got a Blade Runner on my tail.

Baino said...

Oh yes, send in the clones. Especially the working for me bit!What I'd do for a 3 day week!

Deb said...

My dog's vet begs for money all the time from her cushy office.

I think a clear plastic squirrel tube would be cool, too, but with no exit or entrance. Stick the suckers in there and let the neighborhood dogs and cats try to catch them.

secret agent woman said...

The last one sounds like something one of my kids would do.

With the hamster tube, you could tie notes to the hamster and have it run them back and forth instead of having to call the neighbors on the phone.

Serena said...

You be sure and let me know when you perfect the cloning thing. I need one bad!

VE said...

Roy – You should have never come back to Earth!

Baino – I have a seven day weekend…now if I could just make money with that setup…

Deb – Eventually you have to flush out the tube…poop happens…

Secret agent woman – Actually I’ve got the hamster-cam set up to spy on the neighbors…

Serena – Of course whenever you perfect something like that…they’ll just try and take over!

padraig said...

> Run a giant clear hamster tube...

Make it 3' in diameter and you have a perfect place to put the rug rats.

Look, it's just like playing in the street, without the worry about somebody hitting your kids with a car!

Jaime said...

if you can figure out the cloning thing, sign me up... i'd love to have a clone. then one of me can always hang out in bed and sleep.

Annie Ha said...

What would you be doing while your clones were busy doing everything else?

The Silver Fox said...

The clone who works and makes the money had better make a lot of money to feed all of you.

lime said...

i would like a people sized clear hamster trail. i think that would be fun.

VE said...

Padraig – That’s an excellent idea. Of course I can’t tell them to go play on the freeway anymore, after that…

Jaime – You can never make up sleep you miss…that’s why I always get my 8 hours…

Annie ha – Spying on them to make sure they comply with my every command…

Silver fox – Of course! I expect a lot of myself…

Lime – Even more fun would be one of those people sized vacuum tubes like they have at the bank…well…if you could breath in one that is…

Annie Ha said...

hahaha... good one, VE

VE said...

annie ha - I'm working on them...

Chris C said...

Hooking up with a midget would qualify in my book for Things I Haven't Done Yet.

But I'm really weird.