Thursday, February 04, 2010

When you can't change the rhyme

The Theme Thursday today is RED. I thought, what if I had to write a story of fantastical nonsense (because after all, that is what this blog is about) that rhymed but I couldn’t change the rhyme? Oh, and what if I couldn’t repeat a rhyme word too? How far could I go?

Let’s have a look…

Her hair was red
Or so she said
But it’s not safe to tread
So I left it unsaid
While we shared some bread
And the grapes we were fed
Inside her shed
When along came her brother Fred
Because her shed was coed
He kissed my redhead
And I felt mislead
Was she inbred?
With a sense of dread
I fled
On my moped
Upon which I sped
Until I reached the farmstead
And there outspread
Across the roadbed
Wrapped up in a bedspread
Was her other brother Zed
Victim of her own bloodshed
I proceeded ahead
As the body still bled
Sprawled over the dog-sled
With a knitting quilt embed
Into his blood-red
Forehead
It didn’t change her stead
Though the rumor had sped
Until commonly widespread
And through her words they reread
That she would not share his bed
And that’s why he was dead
She would marry instead
Zeke the skinhead
For he was no lunkhead
He was actually in premed
And very well-read
Soon they would be wed
Up near the beachhead

Where few dared to tread

The end

49 comments:

Mrsupole said...

I am afraid to tread into a place I dread.

Mrsupole said...

And did you notice that they all rhyme with Ed.

But I did see two each of the words tread and sped, and you are missing the words led and lead. And you did not use a normal head. And now I think I would just like to go lie down in bed and never see another word that rhymes with red.

God blessed.

subby said...

Heh, heh...I see what you mean. Happens to me sometimes ( with the tale-telling, of course )

Think I'll go back to bed
Now that I've read
All this instead
Of doing taxes I dread
Damn! This is going to my head!

subby said...

This is contageous y'know... ;)

Tom said...

What will you do when the theme is orange?

subby said...

@ Tom, I already did that challenge but may expand on it. The problem being is that "orange" has no one word that rhymes with it...

...back to you, VE!

Baino said...

Surprisingly not the worst poem I will read on da blogs today. Well,at least there was a happy ending.

Brian Miller said...

do i have to rhyme
this time
as i comment
for a moment.
what a sad little poem
poor quilting needle.

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

Red.

Beth said...

I’m torn – this is either a brilliant accomplishment or an OMG/WTH? inducer...

The Incredible Woody said...

@Anon - Shady prices? Are those good?

mouse (aka kimy) said...

damn, tom ....

I was going to say

orange you glad we didn't start the with orange!!

or hey purple

M.Bug said...

Does Anon know that those little blue pills do not match today's theme?

ZED! This is two days in a row I have read that name online.

willow said...

I'm giggling over Tom's comment!

Quirkyloon said...

Why am I hearing a banjo playing?

Deliverance anyone?

HA!

Magpie said...

Loved the poem...it must have been fun to see in which direction it took you.

lime said...

but will the poem earn you any bread?

Elizabeth said...

Wow, you even got the word dog sled in there!

Stephanie said...

Wild ride in this poem!

Dreamhaven said...

Wow, that is truly scary.

Maureen said...

Holy crap. That was impressive and disturbing all at once!

Brian o vretanos said...

incred
ible!

Jill said...

HEY! That was too funny!

Too bad for the dude with the knitting needle in his head! HA!

Kat said...

Hahahahaha!!!! Omygosh, you just made my day. :) Wonderful take on the theme.

Roy Scribner said...

And they lived happily ever after...on their homestead.

JenJen said...

What a nightmare, in my head.

subby said...

@kimy, we can do purple for...um...say...er...September?

aladdinsane12 said...

Wow, I wonder if the gift of poetry is hered...itary.

Wow, that was painful to even type.

Nessa said...

You the best-ed and I'm impress-ed.

13 Characters from Rose and Prince Brendan

Roy said...

Whew! Let me sit down and recapture my equalibrium; you got me quite dizzy there! Can you recite the whole thing in one breath?

Terrace Crawford said...

i was scared if i didn't comment i might turn up dead. =)

--Terrace Crawford
www.terracecrawford.com
www.twitter.com/terracecrawford

Uncivil said...

What.....Zed's overfed brother Ned didn't even get an honorable mention?

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...Bravo!...

Jaime said...

was she inbred?

great rhyme

Janna said...

My favorite Clampett was Jed,
Favorite Flintstone was Fred,
Jane Fonda was married to Ted,
Was Dr. Frankenstein ever in Pre-Med?

It's late... clearly time for bed. :)

VE said...

Mrsupole – Were you an English teacher in a previous life? I guess I get a “C” then, right?

Subby – Taxes? Aren’t you on the “Wesley Snipes Tax Ignorance” program? It’s very popular…

Subby – I know…once you start…it’s like trying to eat only one chip…

Tom – Rhyme it with “door hinge”…

Subby – That’s when I switch to a non-rhyming post…

Baino – I never said it would be pretty…this is a fantastical NONSENSE blog after all…but it is scary to hear there were worse…

Brian – Very good, continue you should…

Perpetual – Ha! Minimalist…

Beth – I’ll let you decide. Fortunately I can always hide behind the cloak of “Fantastical Nonsense” since nothing here really has to make any sense; it just has to be funny. I guess there’s nothing funny about a quilting needle in your head though…

Incredible woody – Of course…I now remove all spam anon comments so your comment is going to seem weird after I do…heh, heh…

Mouse – Don’t even get me started on those so-called colors like mauve or beige…

m.bug – Zed? It’s a southern thing…

willow – He’s making it difficult for me…

quirkyloon – You nailed it! Ha!...

magpie – It was fun to see it change from innocent to dark and then back…

lime – Alas…no…

Elizabeth – You betcha! Can’t do a poem for somebody in Alaska without including that…

Stephanie – It’s out there…

Dreamhaven – I’ve been writing some darker stuff lately…maybe I should see a shrink! Ha!

Maureen – I know…people shouldn’t be named Zed…

Brian – Nice one…

Jill – Somebody always has to die…

Kat – Thanks. I’ve never made a day before. I hope I didn’t use too much butter…

Roy – Yes they did…well, except for that 20 year prison stint…

Jenjen – Sort of gives you a headache, doesn’t it?

Subby – You don’t even want to get me started on purple!

Aladdinsane12 – That looked painful…but I appreciate the effort! No, I’m no poet…just a goof!

Nessa – Nice one…

Roy – Count to 100 backward in Latin…you’ll be ok!

Terrance – This is why my comment count is so high…fear!

Uncivil – Apparently he was left out because he asked for too much money to appear…

Phrankie – Why thank you…

Jaime – Clearly…

Janna – My favorite country band posing as a rock band was “Bread”…

Annie Ha said...

...only those with street cred

carlae said...

I was going to leave a longer comment, but it's time for bed.

CatLadyLarew said...

Inbreeding... can't live with it, don't have enough knitting needles to eradicate it!

Mrs. R said...

Wow. Just...wow...

The Silver Fox said...

As Jon Stewart would say, I got nothin'...

VE said...

mrs r - That ryhmes! Oh, wait, it's the same word...

silver fox - Quoting Jon Stewart is somethin'

Secretia said...

That was very cool, Red is a dangerous vixen!

Secretia

Chris C said...

Zed's dead baby. Zed's dead.

Man, I haven't been able to bust that quote out in awhile.

VE said...

secretia - Hear, hear...

chris c - It's not really one you use in a casual conversation...

gab said...

Glad that was you and not me I have problems with speaking (or writing) plain simple words with out trying to rhyme I seen two treads so you repeated! lol. I think my biggest part in both talking and writing is my head thinks faster than my fingers can type and sometimes I dont proof read and so parts will be missing cause I thought it but didnt write it. O for heavens sakes gab shut up! lol

VE said...

gab - You're right...I repeated on two different words. What can I say...I'm too lazy to actually proofread or edit...

Dee said...

your rhymes were crimes

VE said...

dee - I was never convicted though...