Wednesday, March 31, 2010

More, More, More

I was watching the TV the other day because I like this show called “American Pickers”. It’s about these two guys that go around the country looking for junk they can resell quickly. Basically they look for semi-hoarders and then offer them cash on the spot for stuff they know the value and desirability to even if the stuff is in disrepair because they can sell it to collectors who will restore it. The problem though is they sometimes get mixed in with real hoarders who, even though they might have two acres of rusted crap and a house filled to the ceilings, can’t part with anything. Yes, I’ve watched the hoarder shows too…bizarre stuff…it’s sort of like watching a train wreck…nobody wants to watch but once you do, you can’t seem to turn away.

But then come the commercials….uggh. I loathe commercials unless they are funny. The one that struck me was the razor commericial for men. Apparently they are up to five blades to make your shaving experience so close that it’ll look like Yul Bryner’s head. Well, when he was alive that is…nobody wants a skull face shaving experience. But I digress…


Five blades? FIVE???? I remember the reasoning long ago when it was just two. The first one stretches the hair (ouch) while the second one comes along to cut it so that when it snaps back, it goes in under the skin and baring an ugly ingrown hair later, has the appearance of no hair for awhile. So when did we as consumers demand three, then four, and now five? Seriously, what in the hell are five razors going to do to your face that four or three or two didn’t? They might as well just develop a little mini-lawnmower that you fire up and shaves with hundreds of whirling blades. Oh wait, I guess they do have those electric shavers…but that doesn’t have the cool lawnmower look I’m seeking…


Thinking about it though, it doesn’t surprise me they’re up to five. Nothing is ever good enough. Mark Spitz winning seven golds in swimming wasn’t good enough so now Michael Phelps has fourteen; eight in one Olympics alone. The figure skaters aren’t doing axels. They aren’t doing double axels, they aren’t even doing triple axels. No…they’re going for quadruple axels these days. Nevermind that they break their entire routine with this long glide while they pray to their God just before attempting the jump. Oh, and if they make it, expect another useless long glide and arm pumps to celebrate. What ever happened to seemless fluidity?

I’m sure if I think about it, there are many, many, many, many, many more examples of excessive increases these days. See…I just used one.

29 comments:

monica said...

you are so right - demands, demands, demands, we (they) are never satisfied...
sheees...

Ronda Laveen said...

American Pickers is the Wonder Husband's new fave. That and Pawn Stars which is a different kind of hoarder show. It blows me away that some people have acres of broken, neglected and rusting crap but won't let someone pay them to help clean it up.

Baino said...

Hmm . .I use a razor with three blades and nice gooey stuff so that I don't cut my legs when I shave. Problem is my son also likes it for his FACE! Bastard

Nessa said...

More, more, more is always better.

Mrsupole said...

You mean hoading is a problem. And all this time I just thought I was storing all this stuff that I have been buying because of all those commericals that tell me I need it. Geez, I need help.

Okay, I am slowly working on getting rid of all that stuff. But being sick is not helping, wait is that the UPS guy at the door delivering more stuff. Okay, gotta go answer it......

God bless.

Subby said...

When you said "pickers" I thought of the landfills. Tells you I don't watch telly, wot? I know of at least one person banned from the "waste transfer station" for "picking"...and I'm not talking about an old chair...ew.

But why all the excess? Why not? Of course it'd be nice if the food packages were on the increase :P

And have you noticed the cost of those razors? Ouch!

CatLadyLarew said...

I only need one blade for the one hair on my chin.

Roy said...

Being a long-haired, bearded hippie, I don't have to worry about razors, no matter how many blades they have. Not having to shave frees up all kinds of time in the morning!

The Incredible Woody said...

Tried to think of a funny response but I got nothing this morning...

Elizabeth said...

I'm not saying you're a hoarder, but don't you have the largest crayon collection in the world or something?

VE said...

Monica – They’ve programmed that into us to not be satisfied. Consumerism at it’s worst…

Ronda – I’ve watched both…interesting stuff. The hoarder thing just drives me batty. I just want to go over to those people, slap them around and throw out everything…

Baino – I’m sure that third blade makes ALL the difference…

Nessa – Well…except for body weight…

Mrsupole – If you had all the stuff organized an on display…then you could call it a museum…

Subby – Yeah, that term pickers is relatively new I think even though what they do has been around for a long time.

Catladylarew – I wish I had just one hair on my chin…it would save time…

Roy – And…you’ve got a snack for later built in after you have lunch…

Incredible woody – It happens…

VE said...

elizabeth - I do. And I'm hoarding every one of them!!!

Roy Scribner said...

I can't get over the humor bloggers! They ramble on and on incessantly about...oh wait...never mind!

ReformingGeek said...

We apparently hoard old technology.

Need a boat anchor?

BTW, I have rigged my razor phone to shave my legs. ;-)

VE said...

roy - It's like camping...and all those stories around the campfire...oh wait...never mind...

reforminggeek - Excellent...my razor phones doesn't get a very good signal...I might as well make it do something practical...

Chris Eldin said...

"mini lawn mower" cracked me up!!!

How are things?

I think I'm finding a rhythm now... One more edit to my ms, and then a writer's conference in June. I miss blogging...
:-)

Chris Eldin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gladys said...

I felt like a hoarder when we recently cleaned out the garage. I found things in that garage that I promise you I have no idea what they were. I would toss it in the trash bin and Kahuna would say "Hey don't throw that away I might need that some day." When I asked what it was he would shrug and say "I don't know". Now I have a storage bin full of I don't knows.

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

I hate figure skating.

sharonheg said...

Yeah, I get sucked into American Pickers and Hoarders every time (AND Intervention AND Toddlers in Tiaras AND the Duggars...). For someone who doesn't watch a whole lot of television, I sure do get sucked in a lot. And god forbid there's a marathon...5 hours later I'm still in front of the damn TV...

unfinishedperson said...

Sorry to get all serious on you, dude, but five razors actually do work better than three or four. Personally, I'm a little peeved when my wife gets my triple-blade razor and not the quintuple-blade razors. No, really. If they had six, I'd be extremely happy. I get 5 o'clock shadow usually with one razor at 9 in the morning.

secret agent woman said...

It's all about planned obsolescence. No doubt the 6-blade razor is already int he works. I think mine has three, maybe four. Not sure, but I know the freaking blades are pricey now.

VE said...

chris - Good to hear it...I wish I could get mine back. I took on a couple new things and its been killing my blogging and writing...

gladys - That's not good...remove that box immediately! I'll send the gnomes over...they've got a few tricks of persuasion...

perpetual chocoholic - Me too...but it was a good analogy...

sharonheg - Sounds like you shouldn't start watching TV or they might find you still there years later...

unfinishedperson - You know what is funny though? If you went to the barber shop and paid for a straight edged shave it would probably last you a day or two...with one blade! Go figure...

secret agent woman - Aha...so you're the one planning the 6 blade edition...

lime said...

law of diminishing returns applies almost everywhere. i'm not sure what the specific number is when we're talking orgasms but i'd like to conduct research into it.

VE said...

lime - Ha! You're such a giver...

Janna said...

The razor has five blades so you can take it with you while you're driving. If someone starts tailgating you, you pull out one of the blades and throw it out the window where it spectacularly punctures the tires of the car behind you, making him realize the folly of tailgating.

If he's a repeat offender, just throw all five blades. You can always buy more.

Jaime said...

the razor is a pretty dumb name for a phone. then again, so is the droid.

COUNT SNEAKY said...

This is avery funny piece. Here's a secret the blade makers aren't going to tell you. IF you dry your razor each time before putting it away in the cabinet it will last a long, long time. It is not use that wears this very hard steel down quickly, but water left on them. I use a small bathroom heater and prop the razor up against the vent for a few minutes. Some say they can make a single blade last a year. Quite a savings! I don't know about that, but I have been using one blade for almost three months now.

The Silver Fox said...

That's why the damned cartridges cost so much. All that useless extra metal. Of course, they still shouldn't be so expensive, when they can make an entire freakin' umbrella out of even more metal, plus fabric, plus plastic, and sell it in dollar stores at a profit!