Wednesday, March 03, 2010

My Glass Table

We have a glass table and it’s awesome. Well, at least I thought it would be.

I thought for sure I’d be able to see people’s cards with it when we play poker. Turns out I needed a mirror table to do that. Damn.

I thought I’d invite hot women in mini skirts over and stare at their crotches through the table. Of course the wifey-poo never lets me bring over hot mini-skirted women…she’s funny that way. Instead we have Aunt Gerty over…don’t even GO there!

The problem with a glass table is that you have to clean it every other damn day. You so much as look at a glass table and its dirty. Oh, and kids? Yeah, bonus, I get to clean both sides of the glass because they’ve left their fingerprints all over for the CSI squad to examine. Unfortunately the only crime is me having to clean the table.

I do like that we have a “lazy Susan” spinning part in the middle. You really don’t even want to know how many things I’ve spun on that for my juvenile amusement! Don’t even go there.

But it is fun to spin the vegetables so they are sitting right in front of the kids at dinner time. My subtle way of enforcing the “though shalt not eat just meat” rule that is a family tradition passed down from one irked generation to the next.

Oh, and that infra red mouse I have for my netbook? The inferior thing apparently doesn’t work on a glass surface so I’m constantly looking for a book, parking violation, anything that will work as a mouse pad.

No, I do like my glass table but sometimes I don’t…

33 comments:

Mrsupole said...

Just be sure to not hide under it during an earthquake. Love the lazy susan thingy.

God bless.

subby said...

Heh, heh...don't miss cleaning these..at all...! CSI~HA!

jinksy said...

Life is all about compromise - but figerprints versus transparent glass? Hmmm...
Maybe circular lace table cloth?

Bonnie the Boss said...

Glass tables are pretty and have great lines.
The fingerprints...... that alone would put me over the edge.
Also be careful who you invite over to drink. Make sure that if they pass out, they aren't heavy enough to break your table when they fall into it!

Kurt said...

"The only crime is me having to clean the table," indeed!

monica said...

I'm happy for you and your glass table, with Suzan and all... can imagine all the flying peas in your dining room... :o))

The Incredible Woody said...

We have a glass table. It stays very clean. But then again we don't have kids and we never eat at the table.

Roy said...

I have a glass table, too. After a month of ownership I started using a tablecloth. Cleaning glass is not my idea of a creative use of my spare time.

Lizzy and Elle said...

lol

btw we took stuff

Elizabeth said...

In my house I'd just have to leave the Windex right on the "lazy Susan" all the time.

TheVinylVillager said...

I like the chairs...

I had a glass table once. I woke up under it in college...with a cop knockin above my head trying to write me a noise complaint.

Baino said...

We have glass barbie tables . . not a great idea. I shattered one into a gazillion pieces one Christmas by taking a bottle 'off' it, work that one out! At least I can clean them with a karcher pressure hose!

ReformingGeek said...

Um......NO!

We have a glass coffee table. It's always dusty and covered in cat hair that I never see anywhere else.

Quirkyloon said...

Blogger ate my comment. That wasn't very nice.

I wouldn't want to be able to see all my dust bunnies through a glass dining room table. Heaven forbid, I actually get down there and clean. That's just asking too much. hee hee

Megan said...

I clean mine if somebody's coming over.

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

My kitchen table is stained with dye, paints, inks and who knows what else. Were it glass I may have been able to get it off. Actually if it had been glass it probably would have been broken by now and I'd be back to a stained one so I'm that much farther ahead.

Janna said...

Maybe you could keep dust off of it by having Aunt Gerty lay on TOP of the table... then you could use her left shoulder as a mousepad, and if you ask nicely, she could tell you what her poker hand is.

The mini-skirt might cost extra.

Hey, why are you screaming?
Here. Have some vegetables.
Gerty will spin them around to you.
They're next to her right hip.

Tom said...

that's shnazzy! Of course our kitchen table is usually so loaded up with clutter we can't eat at it, let alone clean it.

CatLadyLarew said...

A glass table would never work for me. It would drive me nuts, trying to keep the fingerprints off the table. But the lazy Susan thing would be fun.

Roy Scribner said...

Those of us suffering from anti-activity syndrome find the term "lazy Susan" offensive and demeaning.

gab said...

I have a table just like that.....except its wood and doesnt have the spinning thing in the middle! Ok I gotta admit its not even round its octagon! Soo I guess the only thing that comes close to being like yours is the fingerprints the grandkids leave on it. Well when we can find it that is lol

Gladys said...

I couldn't have a glass table. I wouldn't eat I would just sit and looke throught it. Hey wait maybe that is why my old boss wouldn't let me have an office with a window.

Michael J. MacArthur said...

Don't forget cleaning the crumbs underneath. People who own glass tables shouldn't eat scones.

Mac

aladdinsane12 said...

oh man, if i had a lazy susan in the middle of my table, i can't even tell you how many times a day i would re-create the opening scene from "indiana jones and the temple of doom"

"the diamond, lao!"

The Silver Fox said...

I always thought a "mouse pad" was whatever was on the other side of those perfectly-formed black holes with the circular archways that they used to show in the walls on all those old cartoons.

VE said...

Mrsupole – I’ll make a note of that…I already live in a high risk Earthquake zone…

Subby – I don’t miss cleaning anything I don’t have to…

Jinksy – I always felt a tablecloth defeated the purpose…

Bonnie – I think they should have made a fingerprinted version…sort of the new distressed look like they have with jeans these days…

Kurt – And crime doesn’t pay…because I haven’t received a penny for all that cleaning!

Monica – The wifey-poo doesn’t approve of lazy susan. Now if it were lazy Johnny…she’d probably be ok…

Incredible woody – That helps…but it still gets dusty…well here it does

Roy – I agree about the use of time but I do like seeing the glass…

Mike – That’s only for secret subscribers…

Lizzy and ellie – You took stuff? I hope you took the garbage out…I’m too busy cleaning the table…

Elizabeth – It’s about to that point…

Vinylvillager – Ha! It’s like that movie “Sixteen Candles” when they put him under the glass coffee table and he’s trapped without air until they find him…

Baino – Glass Barbie tables – Now what kind of bimbo would come up with that? Oh…Barbie…

Reforminggeek – It’s like their magnets sucking all the dust of the world to the table. And they keep looking for black holes…hmmph…they just need to study my table…

Quirkyloon – Can you claim dust bunnies as dependents on your tax form?

Megan – That’s why I never invite anyone over!

Perpetual chocoholic – I had a wood one that barely survived the children as babies and toddlers. I swear they wore an entire layer off that thing…

Janna - The thought of Aunt Gerty laying on the glass table is scary…make it go away…

Tom – That’s my computer desk…sometimes…

Roy – I know…and you should listen to Susan bitch about the term…what a whiner she is…

Gab – At least in an emergency you can burn it for firewood. All I could do with mine is play “Spin the Bottle”…

Gladys – It’s true…I had this great office with a view of Mt. Hood once and I swear I spent half my time looking out the window. The other half was devoted to blogging, of course…

Michael – That’s good advice. I don’t eat scones but I do eat ice cream cones…

Aladdinsane12 – Ha! I’m going to try that right now…

Silver fox – Ha! Why is it that mice design the holes with a perfect arch anyway? Good observation…

Dennis the Vizsla said...

If it helps at all, Logitech has a new mouse that supposedly works on glass. It's called the Logitech Anywhere Mouse MX.

Jaime said...

we have a glass table too, but it's so covered with papers and other stuff we need to put away that it'd take a solid week of concentrated effort before it's usable...

Mandy's Life After 30 said...

We have an almost identical style table but ours is a coffee table and end table that is located in our den. Yeah, sooo cool when it's just the married couple. But not pretty after you add two pets and a two year old to the mix. Wish someone thought fingerprints and smudges were the in trend?! Then maybe I wouldn't bother cleaning mine. Oh who am I kidding... I only clean for company anyway.

sharonheg said...

When I was a kid, my mother had a glass cocktail table in the living room. As part of my household chores, it was my responsibility to keep it clean. I HATED that table, because it was by a window that faced south so EVERY fingerprint and EVERY smudge and EVERY piece of dust showed up on that freakin' thing. HATED it.

Chris C said...

Be careful because glass tables attract midgets.

True story.

lime said...

i'd probably play with the lazy susan too. but i'd never have a glass table. can't imagine the mess of fingerprints and smears. and i have enough OCD that streaks on it after cleaning would really drive me nuts too.

VE said...

Dennis – Does it work in water…I’d like to spend my time poolside…

Jaime – Are you sure there is glass underneath all that?

Mandy – Why can’t they have fingerprintless glass?

Sharonheg – I know the feeling…I really do…

Chris – Really? No wonder I have so many gnomes around…

Lime – Me too…I just wasn’t smart enough to not get glass…