Thursday, March 18, 2010

There's Something Wrong with my Kid's Cereals

Today is Theme Thursday and the theme is BREAKFAST.

That’s perfect for me because I’m a kid’s cereal nut. Of course, I rarely eat them for breakfast because let’s face it, while they may be part of a “balanced” breakfast, this sugary stuff tips that balance the way you don’t want it to go. It takes a hell of a lot of healthy crap to balance it back.

But looking closer, what’s up with kid’s cereals? Their characters are the same tired old ones when I was a kid and they were practically the same for earlier generations.


Trix. That silly rabbit got introduced back in 1958. Sheesh. For the last 52 years that damn rabbit has been trying to trick kids to get Trix cereal, and of course they reply, “Silly Rabbit, Trix are for kids.” I would think by now that rabbit qualifies for social security and having not eaten for the better half of a century should make him look pretty damn scary to kids these days. Where’s the realism in cereal? Of course, I like to tell little kids, “Silly kids, rabbits are for dinner!” as I bring out the rabbit and gravy entre…the gnomes taught me that one…


Lucky Charms. Here’s another one that’s a bit pathetic. That damn leprechaun has been unsuccessful since 1962. You know, at 48 years of age, I would think he’d be arrested by now for hanging around so many kids all the time. Plus, the cereal contains different shaped marshmallows in it. Basically, kids only wanted to eat the cereal because of the marshmallows. They might as well have just made it of that.

Originally they just had pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, and green clovers…because, hey, who WOULDN’T want to be eating clovers and hearts for breakfast? But of course, they had to mess with a good thing and have since added blue diamonds, purple horseshoes, red balloons, rainbows, pots of gold, leprechaun hats, shooting stars, hourglass, swastikas, alien ships, two-headed snakes, you name it.

Captain Crunch. The Captain has been around since 1963. He’s got to be older than Abe Vigoda and Betty White combined, by now. I like the cereal on occasion but I just don’t know what in the hell it is. Are they actually little mini-sponges that taste good? I mean they soak up milk better than any sponge I ever owned. If there’s an overflowing toilet, forget about anything else…pour the whole damn box of Captain Crunch on the spill…they’ll sop that water up like Richard Simmon’s sweat band!


Cocoa Puffs. My personal favorite. Sonny has been around since 1958 and he’s still going cuckoo…perhaps that’s why I like him. Now, when it comes to chocolate cereal, you tend to either be in the Cocoa Krispies camp or in the Cocoa Puffs camp. Basically that means you either prefer Rice Krispies with taste or Kix with taste. Don’t let these other losers fool you. They keep thinking that if they chocolatize everything, you’ll just love it. I don’t want Chocolate Chex. I don’t want Chocolate Cheerios. Quit trying to entice me away from the original. And don’t even try Chocolate Special K (Kachocolate) in the future…it won’t work!

I know; there are many more I’ve left off. I’m sure you’re worried about Tony the Tiger and the rest of them, but you know how I’m already long winded on posts and so…some will have to be addressed in the future. In the meantime, don’t be surprised to see…

48 comments:

Mrsupole said...

I am coocoo for Cocoa Puffs. They are just yummy for my tummy.

Happy TT.

God bless.

Tom said...

Does Froot Loops have a spokesman? Anyway, i'll take a bowl of McFries with ketchup...mmmm.

subby said...

Cap'n Crunch & Coco Puffs; oh yeah!

I'll pass on the McCereal; that's just to freaky...

And I didn't think anyone was older than Abe Vigoda!!!

subby said...

And sadly ( maybe )...they do have Chocolate Cheerios, Special-K & Chex ( well, okay, I'll take the Chex :P )

Alan Burnett said...

Where can I get some of those McFries cereals from! Lovely idea.

Brian Miller said...

mcfries just sounds nasty...
love me some cap'n crunch!

Collette said...

WOW! Swastikas in Lucky Charms, I like that. Before you know it, they will be putting small weapons in the cereals. (or do they have that already? lol)

The Silver Fox said...

I remember when they tried replacing the Lucky Charms leprechaun with "Wally the Wizard" in the 1970s, at about the time I got my first job, in a grocery store. (It may have been just a regional try-out.) Being part Irish, I was outraged!

unfinishedperson said...

I think it would be more interesting if they included rabbit in the cereal. THAT would be novel (disgusting maybe, but novel, yes).

Roy Scribner said...

Hey! VE did a post on camping food - well done.

secret agent woman said...

I like all those cereals. Plus cocoa krispies. I try to avoid them for breakfast, too, though.

Earios. Ewww.

ReformingGeek said...

Hum....I wonder if I can make some kind of cereal bar with Cap'n Crunch? The cereal. The cereal.

ReformingGeek said...

BTW. I love your half-sister.

The Incredible Woody said...

Yesterday to celebrate St Patricks Day, I had the traditional Irish meal of Lucky Charms!

Anne said...

always been partial to the Cap'n. However, I might have to rethink that. thanks

VE said...

Mrsupole – Me too!

Tom – Yes, he’s got that Touchan. Oh, and be sure to drink the extra ketchup at the bottom of the bowl when you are finished with your McFries…

Subby – Most people think he died years ago…

Subby – I didn’t know they did a chocolate Special K already. Just great…

Alan – Fortunately they’ve been targeted specifically to school cafeterias to fatten the kids up for the working slaughter later in their life…

Brian – Now I’m going to have to buy some cap’n crunch. I stick with the original, not that “Boo Berry” stuff…

Collette – Only in Compton, CA…

Silver fox – Wow, I don’t remember that at all. I got one of my first jobs in the 70s in a grocery store too.

Unfinishedperson – I guess then the trick would be on him…

Roy – It’s an easy one for camping…

Secret agent woman – Got my first “Ewww”….Score!

Reforminggeek – Cereal bars are just wrong. What’s the fun if you can’t spill the milk in the bowl?

Reforminggeek – Yes…she keeps me from having to wait in the long non-car-pool traffic lanes…

Incredible woody – An excellent choice. Who wants to try and get an authentic Irish meal with a thousand other drunken partiers down at one of the only Irish restaurants…

Anne – Those sponges are yummy with milk…

anthonynorth said...

In the UK the most popular remain Weetabix and Kellogg's Corn Flakes, I think.
Enjoyable and informative post.

She Writes said...

Silly kids, rabbits are for dinner! :)

YIKES. I should be the one telling. That's just not nice ;).

PattiKen said...

I used to drive my kids crazy by insisting that Cap'n Crunch and Waffelo Bill were played by the same actor. Don't know why they questioned me. Any fool can tell it's the same actor just by looking at their pictures.

I'm just sayin'.

My entry is up here.

Roy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Roy said...

Whew! I think I'll stick to my oatmeal, thank you.

Heh, heh! Can you see Mike Tyson shilling for cereal? Now THAT would b scary!

LadyCat said...

My favorite is Rice Krispies. I love the Snap, Crackle, Pops guys.
Come to think of it...they look kinda like leprechans, too.

California Girl said...

i had absolutely no idea those cereals have been around that long. And I was in their original target market. However, my father never let us eat that stuff. We were given Grape Nuts (the hard stuff not the flakes) and Shredded Wheat.

I recently saw a short piece on woman who had the bright idea to find these cereals and ship them to consumers who can no longer find them in their supermarket. Apparently distribution of many of the sugary cereals has diminished and this lady had the idea to seek, find & deliver.

Dennis the Vizsla said...

Ha ha ha ha "Earios"!

I used to like something called "Kaboom" which was essentially just a big bowl of sugar. I think "kaboom" is what your heart do if you ate too much of it at once.

Angie Muresan said...

Lucky Charms are my favorite!

Jessie said...

i so do enjoy that sugary stuff...

i think the McFries Cereal has potential...to offset all that sugar of course...
lol

well done.

Christine H. said...

I wonder if Kix are still around. We sometimes ate those. But why eat these when you can have toast and eggs and oatmeal?

Gladys said...

Have you seen the new chocolate covered cheerios? Yep I'm sure that is really cholesterol lowering!

Me personally I like granola. Nothing like big hard chunks of fiber and nuts.

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

I'm suprised McD's hasn't thought of that yet.

Jill said...

VE I ADORE sugar cereals and like you...avoid them for breakfast but for snacks...YUM! I bought the chocolate Cheerios at the request of the short people...CANNOT even BEGIN to hold a candle to Cocoa Puffs!!!!
GAH!

gab said...

I love Lucky Charms,Frosted flakes and Chocolate rice krispies.
The one I hate the most is Cookie Crisp....like eating cookies for breakfast!! I will not buy those for my grands no matter how much they throw a fit in the grocery store. No matter if they scream bloody murder that Im being unfair.just no no no!!
and plz no Eearios, or Mcfries. My grandkids already love those golden arches toooooooo much! then add them to breakfast OH HELL NO

Elizabeth said...

I love Captain Crunch, but I have to let it soak in the milk for a while first or else it hurts the top of my mouth.

Baino said...

We don't have any of those here although we do have "Cocoa Pops" with some ageing monkey advertising them. Frankly I think eating cereal is about as tasty as eating the box .. .I wouldn't mind the free razor, my son keeps pinching mine!

mouse (aka kimy) said...

yikes Eearios are scareyo

Chris C said...

Emos lol. Free Razor! good one.

Sh@KiR@ CK said...

My youngest is NUTS about cereals, she even treat them as snacks. lol

Wonderful TT post!

Happy Thursday!

Happy TT!

Did you know that I am now hosting a new meme?

Find out more Blog of the Week Please join us for the WEEKEND FUNNIES. Week #2 is this Friday to Sunday (March 19-21).

See you there?

hugs

shakira

UNSPOKEN BREAKFAST FOR THE SOUL Oscar Wilde-The IRISH Gentleman ART OF GENEROSITY

Jaime said...

earios?

i'll pass on that one but sign me up for the mcfries!

Janna said...

I love Cocoa Krispies!
And Lucky Charms!

And... OMG... I have to add Fruity Pebbles to your list!

(**sound of marker squeaking on computer screen**)

I haven't had any of those in a long time.... now I'm going to have to go buy some. :)

And possibly a new computer screen.

Dreamhaven said...

Yummy sweet cereals, good finger food for babies in moderation. They are a special treat in my house,only allowed occasionally.

My favorite is cream of wheat.

Nanc Twop said...

oh my

Those Earioes are too eerie for me!

;-)

Megan said...

Have you read Cryptonomicon? There's a description in there of how to eat Cap'n Crunch that is BEYOND gold...

VE said...

Sharonheg – That was the great “let’s be tricky and remove the word sugar” movement. They did that same with Super Sugar Crisp but they didn’t fool me with their Honey Crisp…

Anthonynorth – I don’t believe I ever saw cereal anytime I’ve been in the UK. They have other breakfast traditions that are probably more civil and less commercial…

She writes – All in fun…until somebody get hurts, that is…and then I blame the gnomes…

Pattiken – I must have been in a coma during Waffelo Bill’s time…

Roy – “Stick to Oatmeal”…good one…

Ladycat – That is odd…I’ll have to investigate…

California girl – Grape Nuts? That is cruel and unusual punishment…there’s also a restaurant that caters to only cereal…

Dennis – Kaboom…yes…another failed sugar cereal. Seems only the originals make it in the long run…

Angie – They’re magically delicious…

Jesse – McFries might be that balance that is needed…

Christine – Kix are still around…and well, if you can have toast and eggs, sure, but I’m lazy too…

Gladys – I heard about them but I don’t stray from Cocoa Puffs…

Perpetual chocoholic – Don’t tell them…we’ll all be doomed…

Jill – I knew it!

Gab – Yes, I’ll have to agree…cookie crisp is going overboard. It’s like putting Ding Dong in a cereal with red vines or something…

Elizabeth – Good call…I’ve had that happen. Almost as bad a burning it with pizza…

Baino – Perhaps they’ll make a special Emo “Razor only” box…sort of like they did with Crunch Berries…

Mouse – They certainly are…

Chris c – You knew there had to be one…

Shakirack – Good for her! I do too…

Jaime – I suspected as much…

Janna – I don’t think they make a computer screen cereal yet…

Dreamhaven – That’s the way it was at my house and the occasion was like Revelations (think…never)…

Nanc – Ha! I “hear” they’re not bad…a little chewy…

Quilldancer said...

Cocoa Puffs -- because they make chocolate milk! Yeah.

(I'm here in search of your 55)

VE said...

quilldancer - You were about a half hour early for the 55. I don't post until 12:05 PST...

lime said...

dude, when it comes to chocolate cereal i am all about count chocula. mmmmm.

i will say this. cocoa pebbles make a yummy desert. instead of rice crispies with marshmallows to make bars. use cocoa pebbles and replace the marshmallow with melted caramels.

lettuce said...

nice angle on the theme!

we have mostly different characters from these in the UK - but you're right, they've been around for an age.

I do like an unhealthy bowl of sugar puffs, just oh so occasionally

CatLadyLarew said...

I confess, Lucky Charms are one of my guilty pleasures... but I only succumb to temptation about twice a year.

VE said...

lime - Count Chocula! I remember those!

lettuce - Oh...and here I thought the UK was safe from our ridiculousness...

catladylarew - Ok, three hail mary's and try not to sin again...