Saturday, May 15, 2010

If States acted like Corporations

It’s pretty obvious that corporations and special interest runs the USA these days. With all the problems that each individual state has either wielding their own power (or lack thereof) or trying to stay afloat during budget time, there remains only one more corporate trick to rely on…mergers and acquisitions.

That’s right, let the states band together. Let’s do some necessary hostile takeovers. Of course, with every hostile takeover, there are always feathers that get rustled in the process. So, to avoid the obvious, I’m offering up a few state consolidations that keep pieces of the state names so nobody gets their feeling hurt. Win-Win!













32 comments:

Cheryl said...

In our minds, New Vermaine already exists except for disagreements about taxes. Otherwise, we know we're not part of the Rhodemassicut mess.

These were a hoot.

The Incredible Woody said...

I like to say Nevadoradotah.

Roy said...

I don't think Calizonia would work; Arizona has already been looking at California as a place to exile their Hispanic population.

Cheryl - Rhodemassicut is good! But don't diss us - you only exist because we come up there to New Vermaine to spend all our vacation money.

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

Shoot! And I just learned all the old names;-)

Subby said...

I know of a Texarkana...just sayin'...

Oooooh! rare Saturday post...! 8^O

Sh@KiR@ CK said...

I would personally like to invite you to join a meme which I host?
Weekend Funnies
please take a look...
It runs weekly from Friday to Sunday.
This week's posthere
Have you an AWESOME weekend!
hugs
shakira

Brian o vretanos said...

We in Britain have several millenia's worth of experience with this kind of thing, and I have to say that it's a bad idea. Not only would you add another couple of special interest lobby groups per merger (e.g. Californian and Arizonian seperatists), you'd eventually end up with even more layers of politicians. Despite the fact that Scotland became part of the UK conglomorate hundreds of years ago, and despite the fact that they let the Scottish CEO (or rather King) run the whole thing from 1603 onwards, they've now got their own parliament which everyone in Britain pays for, and there's still no prospect of outlawing bagpipes...

nursemyra said...

I could only live somewhere I could also pronounce. Calizonia rolls off the tongue and sounds good enough to eat.

Dennis the Vizsla said...

Mmm, I could go for a calizonia with extra pepperoni right now.

Monkey Man said...

I'd suggest Washingordaho, but Seattle and Portland could never be a part of the same state. Too much hatred.

ReformingGeek said...

Um...yeah. Let's go for it...but I can't say anything of them - except the last one!

Great job!

Quirkyloon said...

Clever!

The only problem I can see is NOBODY gonna touch Arizona anymore.

Signed,

A Quirky Arizonan

Mrsupole said...

So are you saying that if California becomes part of Arizona that we would have the same laws as they do. Does that mean that the illegals would also get checked here in Cali. Wow, if that happens then half the state's population would be gone in a few weeks and then legals would be able to afford a house and get real jobs and half of our government would be gone too. It just kinda looks like a win-win situation for this state. But my only question would be, is where are all the illegals gonna go. Maybe they will go to Lomissill so that when Obama goes back home then he can deal with them all.

And before anyone gets started with me about this, I am one of those danged legal hispanic decendents born here, and living in the land of the green, red, and white flags, that are everywhere in place of the red, white and blue flag that used to be allowed to be flown in this state.

But seriously something needs to be done with all the illegals here. Most of them cannot go home because they have been here too long, their kids are born here and they have no home to go home to. Plus because I know so many of them, I am not sure that I would like to see this happen to them. But I would like to see the borders secured, because these people being stuck between two worlds is not a way for anyone to live. The feds can go suck an egg for not ever fixing this problem. And they can stick their lies up their butts on their way home after the elections in November. Damn Gobernent liars need to be fired.

God bless America and it's flag, although I am not so sure which flag it is anymore.

And hey Quirky, when we retire and move to Arizona in a few years, we might come visit ya. Well if we can get across the California/Arizona border. We love Arizona.

God bless.

PS...VE, does this takeover mean we get less gobernent officials or more? If we get less, this plan is great, if we get more, well you know where you can stick it. Damn gobernent tax thieves, cheats, and liars!!

Elizabeth said...

No one is going to want to merge with us, are they. Wait, maybe Hawaii??

VE said...

Cheryl – I suspected some of these might already exist in people’s minds…

Incredible woody – It’s a mouthful…try not to speak it when chewing food…

Roy – California came up to Oregon and introduced us to overpriced housing! I know what it’s like to be “invaded”…

Perpetual – I’ve heard continued learning prevents dementia later on…you’ll thank me later (or not even know it)…

Subby – Yes, that is the original one, isn’t it? Oh, and the Saturday post is because I missed the Wed,Thu,Fri posts…

Shakirack – I’d love to join but I’m time pressed lately. Perhaps if I get back into a blogging rythym…

Brian – You guys now all this already…we’re still learning…

Nursemyra – Easy names are better!

Dennis – It does sound appetizing…

Monkey man – Funny…I have no qualms about Seattle. I was just there this weekend…

Reforminggeek – It’s good verbal practice. When you get proficient, put some rocks in your mouth and try to say them again, Dylan style…

Quirkyloon – I’m guessing with the perpetual heat there, the state will shrink up to be pocket sized…

Mrsupole – Perhaps the aliens should land and take all the illegal aliens away! Aliens for aliens….

Elizabeth – Hawaska? A little snow and sun action?

sharonheg said...

Actually, NY, NJ and CT are the 3 states of the "tristate area" so I think it should be New Jorkicut.

sharonheg said...

Actually, NY, NJ and CT are the 3 states of the "tristate area" so I think it should be New Jorkicut.

Janna said...

Michigan, Indiana, and Ohio could merge to form Michianahio.

I never noticed this before today, but Indiana and Ohio almost look like butt cheeks. Wearing ragged jeans, maybe.

Maybe Michigan should merge with Canada instead.

Minada, Cachigan...

I'll have to get back to you on that one.

CatLadyLarew said...

I think I'd like to live in Minnekota next. Or Washegon.

Serena said...

You should either run for office or pitch a new reality show. You could call it "Extreme Gerrymandering.":)

teeni said...

It's a good idea but we could never pronounce all these names (much like a certain volcano that recently erupted). By the way, I linked to you in my latest rant post in case you were interested. Glad to see you are still here creating nonsense even though I've been away a bit.

Roy Scribner said...

lol! You know, a lot of these states really should be merged...

VE said...

Sharonheg – That would work too!

Sharonheg – You should have sent this comment a third time…then it would be a tri-post comment!

Janna – I knew I could count on you to add a few. But the butt cheeks…now that one is odd, ha!

Catladylarew – Washegon is a bit warmer…

Serena – As long as I get my own state…

Teeni – I saw that. Thank you very much. Yes, I’m still here…like a wart you can’t seem to get rid of…

Roy – It would make it harder to flee across the state lines though…

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

Too late, I'm already demented.

Anne said...

couldn't figure out how to get pennsylvania in to new jorkawareland, could ya?

Jaime said...

personally, i think jersey should just expand its borders and glom delaware, getting rid of its name. it's too small to exist on its own

teeni said...

Okay, I just happen to re-look at this post and realized that many of those combined state names sound way too much like some diseases I've been hearing way too much of lately. Just thought I'd say that while I was here. ;)

padraig said...

California just wants Vegas.

lime said...

phew! pennsylvania retained it's identity. ( i won't tell you that some folks on the east coast refer to us as pennsyltucky. nope, not gonna say that at all)

The Silver Fox said...

I like a lot of those better than the current names. Very clever!

VE said...

Perpetual chocoholic – It’s better to be fermented…

Anne – It hurt my head…

Jaime – Super Jersey?

Teeni – Coincidence? Nothing is coincidence…

Padraig – Wouldn’t you?

Lime – You lucked out having a state too difficult to combine. Apparently Pennsylvania doesn’t play nicely with others!

Silver fox – It’s all in the sales…

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