Monday, May 17, 2010

Thank God for the Internet

Remember when the internet wasn’t around? Amazingly, nearly everyone can! I couldn’t live without it now. And here’s why:

The entire internet…all the cabling, data storage, useless customer service departments, modems, wifi…all of it…was worth it if to just allow me to look up the words of the lyrics to the Hollies’ song, “Long, Cool Woman in a Red Dress”. No really, I would have been still walking around to this day mumbling my own version of words from a song that no human could decipher. It’s like the elusive big fish…you can see him, but you can’t quite catch him. The same goes for that song…the words seem like they make sense…until they don’t. This is exactly why we needed the internet!

Here are a few more reasons why I thank God for the internet…

Internet Dating. Without the internet, how else could you put up a picture of your post-college self from 10-20 years earlier when you actually were marketable but were still too immature to get a real date? Thanks to the Internet, you can lie, scheme and wiggle your way into many potential relationships that will ultimately fail!

Phone Books. Remember when you had the yellow pages? I’m not talking about your high school graduation year book that you forgot to put into an oxygen-free paper saving material to keep it from yellowing all these years later, I’m talking about that big heavy thing that give pro wrestlers something to rip in half without having to go to court! You know, that big book that now goes from your porch to your recycling bin in 2.8 seconds because it doesn’t even contain all the information now thanks to a bunch of competing ones that stole away part of the numbers. You can Google all that information on the internet!

Nagging Forgetfullness. Remember sitting watching some movie with some actor that you somewhat remember from another movie that you can’t remember and it drives you crazy trying to identify it? That’s why we have the internet! One click away and you don’t have to stay awake all night replaying your entire life of going to the movies to figure it out.

Oh, and let’s not forget Ebay and Craigslist. Without Ebay and Craiglist…we’d all be on the hoarder show…

28 comments:

Mrsupole said...

Yes, what would we all do without the internet, well okay, maybe cook, clean the house, garden.

Yup, we cannot "live" without the internet.

God bless.

Baino said...

I'd be lost without the internet. All my friends are on it!

Alan Smithee said...

The Internet is where I'm a viking.

Roy said...

Yeah, I'd definitely be lost without IMDb. And digital photography would be meaningless without the Internet.

Roy Scribner said...

All I could do on my first computer was play moon landing. And the Internet? Well, I think Alan says it all!

Dennis the Vizsla said...

Ha ha ha ha, yellow pages!

M.Bug said...

For some unknown reason (old habits die hard), I still keep the phone book on top of my fridge. I never use it anymore thanks to the internet. Also, that "nagging forgetfulness" that I constantly have is much less stressful since I can always Google. I just hope I can always REMEMBER that I can Google!!

Monkey Man said...

The internet allows me to walk around like a lobotomized idiot. I no longer have to remember a thing, it's all on the 'net'. Of course, there are many who wold argue that I walked around like a lobotomized idiot before the internet.

Subby said...

Um...I thought it was "Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress?!?

And there's a reason I call the new place B.C.E., heh, heh...

But yeah, ya just can't beat looking up a mystery phone number on google ;)

VE said...

Mrsupole – If I could get the internet to cook…that would do it for me!

Baino – They must be really small to live in the internet…

Alan – But do you have to wear the hat? I’m not big on heavy hats…

Roy – We’d be back to drive up photo developing…uggh!

Dennis – What a concept…

m.bug – You could look up google in the phone book…

monkey man – Of course there is no actual proof you were walking around lobotomized since if the internet wasn’t there, neither was YouTube to display your lobotomy episode…

subby – You’re too quick. I was wondering if anyone would catch that…

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

Not to mention that the phone book has decreased the font size to save money to one I am no longer able to read anyhow.

Subby said...

DANG! I mean...OOPS! ( goes back to editing digi-photos )...

ReformingGeek said...

Was there life before chat rooms, forums, and blogging?

Sheesh.

secret agent woman said...

"Long cool woman in a BLACK dress," silly.

The internet is truly a blessing and a curse, and yet I'm mostly thankful for it.

Janna said...

If it makes you feel any better, I've never heard the song before, and I totally believed you when you said it was a RED dress. :)

The Incredible Woody said...

I'm much cooler online.

VE said...

Perpetual chocoholic – I have that trouble too…

Subby – It’s ok…you beat everyone else to it…

Reforminggeek – Very little…it was called Disco…

Secret agent woman – Glad you caught that too…one of my devious little tricks…the gnomes make me do things like that…

Janna – See how convincing the gnomes make me?

Incredible woody – I’m the same in person…scary, huh?

Elizabeth said...

Without the internet how could I send millions of pictures of my daughter to all my friends and family?

nursemyra said...

yeah I was going to mention the black dress thing, but it seems I wasn't the only one to notice....

Dee said...

Amen to all of that! it's so true.

aladdinsane12 said...

yeah. phone books are totally bullshit. whitepages.com all the way! sporcle.com is another site that i could not live without. it is the ultimate time-wastin place to be!

Jaime said...

i am thankful for the internet every time i'm in court. it makes the time go so much faster when i can surf around on my phone...

CatLadyLarew said...

If Al Gore had never invented the internet, I'd probably have a social life today. Wait... he didn't invent it... and I still don't have a social life.

lime said...

i think some folks are on the hoarders show BECAUSE of ebay and craigslist

The Silver Fox said...

Yup, I resisted the internet for quite a while... but it helps me do research... AND "prove" my arrogant self to be right in so many instances!

VE said...

Elizabeth – With a lot of stamps…

Nursemyra – Apparently my readers are quite clever on recognizing important details…

Dee – Without the internet we’d have to whine about the Pacific NW weather in the spring…

Aladdinsane12 – sporcle.com? Is that like another variation of the spork?

Jaime – I’m sure the judge is doing the same thing from way up on his throne there…

Catladylarew – I’d sue him for not providing that social life…

Lime – Good point!

Silver fox – Don’t you love it when you can prove yourself right! I do a lot of research on the internet too. But after rewriting the history of crayons on Wikipedia and everywhere else on the internet because it was completely wrong, I realized how sometimes bad information is just perpetuated over and over…

Cheryl said...

When you put the phone book in there, I damned near fell off my chair. I like my phone book. I love reverse nubmer look-up on the web, which is kinda creepy, but I love the BIG BOOK almost as much as I love the dictionary.

VE said...

cheryl - Reverse lookeup? Isn't that just looking down?