Thursday, May 27, 2010

VE's Opti-Illusion will change the World

It’s Theme Thursday today and the theme is Wrinkles. That gets me wondering about the vanity of plastic surgery, cosmetics, air-brushed photos, and a whole host of things designed at the futile attempt of keeping us young looking. But don’t worry…VE’s brain has been working on this (well…for a good 10 minutes of focus)…

In an effort to find the ultimate in vanity, VE researchers have unveiled their Opti-Illusion face product guaranteed to swindle billions from vanity hungry women and men the world over.

Opti-Illusion isn’t your run-of-the-mill make up. In contrast, it eliminates 100% of all face care needs. Consider this:

- Ever want to look like the airbrushed photos on the magazine?

- Wish your face looked like those Photo Shop pictures you spent 27 hours cleaning up?

- Face parts too weird but you don’t want to have it fall off like Michael Jackson’s did?

Opti-illusion is a high-tech surgical procedure of 100 strategically placed micro holographic video imaging display units that portray a perfect face behind the unperfect one you don’t want people to see.

That’s right, with Opti-illusion you have a 24-7 3-D digital image of your face allowing everyone to always see the beautiful young you…and you don’t have to do anything to make it so. Nobody can tell the difference thanks to the micro display that is just millimeters above your actual face.

Forget expensive skin care products
Forget expensive make up products
Forget any products

With Opti-Illusion you don’t ever have to look at your actual face again (if you don’t want to).

See for yourself…



Our custom rechargeable batteries run on your normal oil and sweat secretions…you never have to worry about replacing anything!

Act now and we’ll send you a coupon for our upcoming product: Opti-hair…where you can say goodbye to expensive haircuts or hair growing products that don’t work because you’ll have a perfect and modern hair projection system videoing the latest style you want…simply use our wireless interface to easily change your hair projection with an easy to use remote.

Oh yes, they'll both be in VE's Vanity store soon!

33 comments:

Elizabeth said...

Oooh, sign me up, I'll take two!!

Elizabeth said...

Wow, I'm first? Seriously? I'm never first.

Mrsupole said...

Can I, can I be your first customer? Sign me up!!!

Not really, or is it reality? Or is it lack of reality?

Very scarey what women will do to get rid of wrinkles, me included, but I know how to really get rid of them. Just come see.

God bless.

anthonynorth said...

I think the procedure there is better known as a miracle :-)
You'll find mine here.

Cheryl said...

I earned my wrinkles and I'll keep them. I will, however, take one Opti-Hair.

Roy Scribner said...

I like it - of course, I modified my Opti-Illusion with a custom Jack in the Box skin. It gets me noticed, though!

Brian Miller said...

haha. if you can rig it to make my nose shrink, we got a deal...lol.

Roy said...

No thanks, I'll keep my wrinkles. From what I've seen, forever young usually means forever stupid.

PattiKen said...

Wow, I want me some of that, especially the hair one.

Subby said...

Hey! We can get Steve( the Jerk )Martin to market the thing...oh wait...he didn't do too well with that "Opti-grab" thing, did he? Dang!

VE said...

Elizabeth – You are first!

Mrsupole – I’ll have to go see what you did!

Anthonynorth – Miracles happen every day (to other people apparently…)

Cheryl – Yes, hair washing, cutting and styling is a hassle. Shaving it would be just as much work…

Roy – Excellent idea…hope you got the rippling muscle option with that…

Brian – Of course it would!

Roy – Good choice…less work that way…

Pattiken – The hair one seems popular…

Subby – Yeah, there’s usually a glitch with these kinds of things…

Monkey Man said...

Give it 20 years and some engineer at Sony will make this a reality.

Enchanted Oak said...

I like the fact that it's sustainable and ecologically sound, running on sweat glands or whatever. I like your environmentally friendly product. Sign me up. It will help save the earth, right?

mouse (aka kimy) said...

is it too early for holiday orders....

sharonheg said...

Based on the pics, it can even change me from a Native American to a Caucasian woman? Wow, now THAT'S amazing and incredible! Especially since I'm not Native American.

Jingle said...

very sharp,
lovely post!

Gladys said...

I want some! Hey can I hologram myself to look like Angelina Jolie?

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

I don't have any wrinkles, but could use the appearance of firmer muscles without all that exercise! Do you have a body version?

Baino said...

Interesting that most of your commenters (albeit in fun) are not happy enough with their looks to place an order . . me included! If only!

ReformingGeek said...

One Opti-Hair-Removal, please.

;-)

VE said...

Monkey man – I’m thinking 50 years for this one…

Enchanted oak – Yes, sacrifice for the Earth…good excuse!

Mouse – It’s never too early…I’m already driving my kids insane singing Christmas songs…

Sharonheg – Hey…if Michael Jackson can do it…why not everyone…and without all the face loss…

Jingle – Thanks!

Gladys – Sure…but be careful…you might end up with several foreign kids hanging on to you by the time you head home from somewhere…

Perpetual chocoholic – Ah…the body version…it’s in early development…

Baino – We are conditioned by media and society to not be happy with our own skins…

Reforminggeek – I can’t guarantee to remove it but it’ll sure make getting ready much easier!

Stan Ski said...

I'll take two - you never know...

California Girl said...

Notice how the women say "Sign me up"?

Well, yeah baby, SIGN ME UP TOO.

Janna said...

Nah, I'll just go ahead and be whatever I end up being.

It's part of the adventure. :)

Besides, it'll give me something to blog about. :)

CatLadyLarew said...

Yeah... those photos look exactly like my before and after shots.

moondustwriter said...

Clever - now the trick is getting it patented

very smooth 55

VE said...

Stan – Better to be prepared. Then again, the boy scouts were just sued for multi-milliions…

California – They’re the ones buying all the mascara too! Well, them and Alice Cooper…

Janna – Wrinkles for blog material…interesting position!

Catladylarew – I suspected…

Moondustwriter – Yeah, why are patents so damn expensive?

lime said...

good thing i'm not worried about this. i don't wear makeup and don't dye my hair. damn, i should have a lot more money since i don't spend it on that stuff.

The Incredible Woody said...

I trying to embrace my wrinkles. So far it's not working.

VE said...

lime - You should. Congrats for going the other way...don't let the crowd mow you down in the process...

incredible woody - Don't worry, they'll stretch more over time and then you'll really be able to embrace them!

Jaime said...

i'll take my wrinkly puppies any day! i don't want to get all old and wrinkled like that woman.

gab said...

you know Ive said it before and I'll say it again. I must not be a true woman. I dont have more than 3 pairs of shoes I dont go to a beauty salon ever week or two. I dont use makeup. I hate dresses and or skirts. I do however get my nails done because I just cant seem to STOP bitting them. I dont use anything for wrinkles and I dont dye my hair to hide the grey. Or for any other reason either. My perspective on the whole thing is why do you need more than 1 pair of shoes when you only wear one pair at a time and black or white goes with everything. Why get your hair done all the time? I see it as a waste of money in fact when I got my hair cut reasently I made sure I had long enough hair to donate to locks of love. I cut off 14 inches and got my haircut for free. I dont use makeup because if god wanted me to have that gunk on my face I would have been born with it on. I have been asked it I was born male many times and many times I say no this is just the way I feel. maybe my parents had something to do with that I dont know.

VE said...

jaime - Wrinkly puppies are cute...wrinkly people are not

gab - You are yourself and that's good enough!