Friday, June 04, 2010

Buy One, Get One Free

Here is your official VE guide to things you probably won’t find a “buy one, get one free” coupon for…

Vasectomies
Coffins
Tax Audits
Lifetime Achievement Awards
Baby adoption
Swimming pools
Basements
Pace Makers
Dictators
Suicide Kits
Home furnaces
Abortions
Sporting Teams
Tooth Removal
Your Will
A Divorce
Sprinkler systems
Home pool tables
Wedding Dress

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A Flash 55 is a story written using exactly 55 words. Visit Mr. Knowitall to read other Flash 55 entries this week.

31 comments:

Mrsupole said...

If you buy one wedding dress and get another one free then you can always sell it or even who knows when you redo your wedding vows then you can use it, just get it in a bigger size.

Suicide kiss, not so much.

God bless.

Mrsupole said...

Okay, meant suicide kits, but kiss works too.

GBA

Baino said...

Damn I've got free stuff I can't give away including a friggin wedding dress. Buy me, get my kids for free?

Roy Scribner said...

Can I get a two-fer on this comment?

Cheryl said...

Well thought out VE and well played.

CatLadyLarew said...

But what if you made a suicide pact with someone? Surely then you could use a "buy one, get one free" deal.

Roy said...

Wait! Who can't use two swimming pools or pool tables? The more the merrier!

lime said...

i know a couple of guys who ought to get in on the vasectomy deal though.

padraig said...

You left off "Thermonuclear Bombs". Of course, I can't Flash 55.

Elizabeth said...

LOL, made me laugh :)

Subby said...

You're goading me...you know that, right? HA!

Monkey Man said...

You forgot a kick in the nuts. Oh, wait, you did say vasectomy.

G-Man said...

Gotta love BOGO!!!
I love lists VE...Yours was awesome!
Excellent 55 brother.
Thanks for playing, thanks for visiting, and have a Kick Ass Week-End...G

Brian Miller said...

i dunno we seem to find enough dictators to keep the offices filled...smiles. nice 55...

sharonheg said...

Is this a challenge? I bet I can find ONE of those things as a BOGOF....

VE said...

Mrsupole – It’s a stretch if you ask me…especially years later…and I was wondering about that suicide kiss…I’ve met some girls that would have been appropriate to call…

Baino – Ha! Kids aren’t free…they’re expensive!

Roy – Many commenters do…I’ve seen plenty of duplicated here

Cheryl – Thanks…thanks (two thanks for the price of one)

Catladylarew – It’s hardly the sort of present you spring on somebody…except maybe the inlaws…yeah, I think you have something there…you give both the inlaws a kit!

Roy – Who can? You can only swim in one at a time. I’ve never seen the person who can swim in two pools at the same time…

Lime – Real friends don’t invite other friends to sign up for that!

Padraig – Only because they don’t come with a warranty…

Elizabeth – That’s why I’m here…

Subby – I’ve never owned a goad in my life…

Monkey man – Only difference is that you have to pay for one of them…

g-man – Always a pleasure. You want lists, we got lists today…

brian – True, but they don’t work in pairs…

VE said...

sharonheg - Ok, I'll bite...show me the link that offers one!

ReformingGeek said...

Suicide kits?

YIKES!

The Incredible Woody said...

My dentist did a BOGO tooth removal for a guy on our crew:)

Megan said...

I have never seen that. BOGO, I mean. Typed that way, I mean. Weird.

secret agent woman said...

Check the second sign in this post for a cemetery plot BOGO:
http://incognitoagent.blogspot.com/2007/06/bad-ads-3-4.html

Janna said...

Heart Transplants
Haggis
Alligator Bites
Space Shuttles
Hysterectomies
Skunks

Thanks for another Friday 55. :)
Mine's posted right here.

gab said...

well personally for me I am glad you cant buy one get one on many of those items.

Alan Burnett said...

Wonderfully inventive. If you buy one dictator you always tend to get several others thrown in for free.

Subby said...

@Megan, supermarkets have been doin' that for years ( along wi' BOG2 and the rarer BOG3! )

Brian o vretanos said...

Sometimes houses are sold BOGOF (useful for people getting divorced, maybe?), and the purchaser might well want to take advantage of a similar offer on pools, basements, etc.

Kelley said...

well if you had a suicide pact you would kinda appreciate the discount on the kit and the coffin for your friends.

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

True!

Jaime said...

i don't know... the way some people burn through marriages, maybe they should do BOGO specials on divorces and wedding dresses!

aladdinsane12 said...

i would totally love a second basement. i wonder if it would be next to the original or under it...

VE said...

Reforminggeek – You name, they’ll make it…

Incredible woody – He’s probably that same guy that sang the “All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth” song too…

Megan – Where have you been? California? Sheesh. Ok, I didn’t know the acronym either…

Secret agent woman – That’s weird. This is why morticians shouldn’t do marketing…

Janna – I knew I could count on you for more…

Gab - Me too!

Alan – Yes, but they tend to kill each other off until there is only one running things…

Subby – These must be the same supermarkets that have my no frosting blueberry poptarts because they sure aren’t here!

Brian – I really wouldn’t want to live next to my ex even with kids going back and forth….ugh!

Kelley – Oooh…a bundle deal! Maybe we could throw the dictators into that…

Perpetual chocoholic – Congratulations on your one word comment and entry into the one word commenter’s guild. Your decoder ring will arrive shortly…

Jaime – I have no comment ;) Wait…I’m only on #2

Aladdinsane12 – I opt for a secret sub-basement…