Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Song Mashups you’ve been hoping to avoid forever

Lola (by the Kinks) and Copacabana (by Barry Manilow)

I don’t know why anybody hasn’t done this one yet. Am I the only one stupid enough to cross that bad taste line?

I know what you’re thinking…this isn’t going to be pretty…

First of all, we’ll do the Lola version of the mashup:

I met her in a club down in Cocacabana
Where you dance cha-cha as your feet stick to spilled cherry-cola
C-o-l-a cola

I worked in the bar and I made all her drinks
I asked her her name and in a Latin infused voice she said Lola
L-o-l-a Lola lo-lo-lo-lo Lola

Well I may be the world’s most cheesy songwriter
Cause I introduced Rico as the jealousy fighter
Over my Lola lo-lo-lo-lo Lola
Well I’m not dumb but I can’t understand
Why I fought Rico for her when I knew she was a man
Oh my Lola lo-lo-lo-lo Lola lo-lo-lo-lo Lola

Well we broke tables and punched each other a lot
Until there was a single gun shot
She picked me up and sat me on her knee
And said dear boy make your will out to me
Well I’m not the world’s most passionate guy
But when I looked in her eyes I bled all over Lola
Lo-lo-lo-lo Lola Lo-lo-lo-lo Lola
Lola Lo-lo-lo-lo Lola Lo-lo-lo-lo Lola

I pushed her away
I walked to the door
I fell to the floor
My liver fell out down by my knees
Then I looked at her and she at me

Well that’s the way that I want it to stay
And I always want it to be that way for my Lola
Lo-lo-lo-lo Lola
Girls will be boys and boys will be girls
And Rico changed his sex that next year just for Lola
Lo-lo-lo-lo Lola

Well they got married just a week before
And Rico’d never kissed a man before
But Lola smiled and took her by the hand
And said dear girl I’m gonna be your man

Well this isn’t the world’s most mixed up song
But I know that it’s close and that makes it so wrong
And so is Lola
Lo-lo-lo-lo Lola Lo-lo-lo-lo Lola
Lola Lo-lo-lo-lo Lola Lo-lo-lo-lo Lola



Ok, let’s do the Copacabana version now:

Her name was Lola l-o-l-a Lola, she was a dragqueen
With yellow feathers in his hair and his Johnson hung down to there
He would meringue and drink cherry cola c-o-l-a cola
And while he tried to be the star, Tony Danza tended bar
Across the champagne spilled floor, they worked from 8 till 4
They were young and mixed up
Who expected more?

At the Copa C-o-p-a Copa drag show
The hottest spot south of Soho
At the Copa C-o-p-a Copa
Genders and sexual choices
Were as confusing as their voices

His name was Rico R-i-c-o Rico, he wore a Cubic Zirconium
He was escorted to his chair, he saw Lola dancin’ there
Well Rico wasn’t the world’s sharpest crayon in the box
But when he squeezed Lola there, Tony had his stunt double care
And the prat falls were on while the stunts ran along
Then there was a single gun shot
But just who shot who?

At the Copa C-o-p-a Copa drag show
The hottest spot south of Soho
At the Copa C-o-p-a Copa
Genders and sexual choices
Were as confusing as their voices
At the C-o-p-a Copa…she lost her gender identity

Her name is Lola L-o-l-a Lola, she was a drag queen
But that was 30 years ago, when she could get it up for the show
Now there’s Viagra, but not for Lola
Still in the dress she used to wear, overstretch from here to there
She sits like a crazy loon, drinking well before three
She lost her Tony and Tony lost his acting gig
To reality TV

At the Copa C-o-p-a Copa drag show
The hottest spot south of Soho
At the Copa C-o-p-a Copa
Genders and sexual choices
Were as confusing as their voices
At the C-o-p-a Copa

C-o-p-a Copa, don’t fall in love
C-o-p-a Copa
C-o-p-a Copa


Oh yes, I stepped waaay over the line this time.

24 comments:

Elizabeth said...

Song mashups? Have you been watching Glee??

Baino said...

And what's wrong with drinking before three?

Subby said...

You really should write for Weird Al, y'know...just sayin'...

Subby said...

We could pull Dread Zeppelin out of retirement to do this one~HA!

Mrsupole said...

LOL is about all I can do.

And I love to watch Glee and have even started drinking before three, cause I went to the Copa and Rico was dancing while on his knees cause he lost his legs when he got shot, cause Tony did not. And now he calls me to come drink at the Copa cause he cries each day for Lola who got lost on Survivor of de Bana in Havana and Rico knows that Lola is with Castro smokin, in the Cabana at the Copa.

Dang it, I need to stop now. It is like my head won't stop this freaking rhyming. Arrggh!!

God bless.

Cheryl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cheryl said...

There's a line? Damn.

Hey, I just checked. As of June 10th, I'm in 33rd place with my 33 comments. 33 is my favorite number because I loved Larry Bird. Do I get a prize?

Roy Scribner said...

I flipped you the bird for making me think of Copa Cabana and Barry Manilow - do I get a prize?

ReformingGeek said...

Oh my. I'll never be the same.

The next time I hear these songs, I'll be spelling everything.

Sheesh.

;-)

Roy said...

AAAAaaaaaauuuuuuuuugh! My computer's been fouled by BarryManilowMention™! Yuck!

And poor Ray Davies, what you've done to his song. You can mess up Manilow all you want, but the Kinks are sacred, dude!

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

When do you have time to write these things? Do you lie awake at night with these things going through your head?

00dozo said...

What in the hell were you drinking?

Ha ha! Funny!. I actually had to listen to Copacabana while reading these lyrics. Too much.
;-)

The Incredible Woody said...

I thought those were the real words.

RA said...

No matter what Subby says, you just leave Led Zeppeling alone, you hear! Your mashing was way too effective.... :D

sharonheg said...

Gee VE, it's such a pity you're not the least bit creative...LOLOL! Your post reminds me of a piano player I once knew who used to mix pop with classical...so you might get "I'm A Believer" done in the style of Bach.

Hale McKay said...

Now - I'm asking myself - "Why did I myself come up with that idea.

Having said that, it won't stop me from 'filing' that idea away for some future post. (With an aside saying that you inspired it.)

CatLadyLarew said...

A mind is a terrible thing to waste... glad you're keeping yours razor sharp with this new twist on classics. Oooh... "Twist on Classics" would make a great album title for one of those late night CD collection commercials.

VE said...

Elizabeth – Don’t make me vomit…

Baino – Nothing…I used it for the rhyme…

Subby – I should have a parody cage match with him…

Mrsupole – See…you’ve got a whole other story going. We could have an entire CD of parodies of just these two mashed songs!

Cheryl – That is significant! You’ve really moved up on the list. I update my list manually and so I really see who’s been commenting over the last month or so…

Roy – Sheesh…everyone wants a prize on this post. I suggest purchasing some cracker jacks. They have prizes…

Reforminggeek – It’s good training for kids too…

Roy – Of course, I mess with everyone…the classic to the cheesy…

Perpetual chocoholic – I wrote this but it did take about 40 minutes to complete it which is longer than a lot of my posts other than the ones that require a lot of photo manipulation…

00dozo – Don’t worry…I’m not drunk…just disturbed…

Incredible woody – All of them were real words. I didn’t make up a single word for that mashup…

Ra – I’ve already done a parody of Stairway to Heaven so I’ll leave them alone for now…

Sharonheg – Pop with classical eh? That must be a riot. Never mix country and rap though…you get CRAP!

Hale – I do that on some post ideas I’ve seen. Sometimes I’ll take a concept and make it my own to stay original…

Catladylarew – Very late night…

Subby said...

VE, and we could resurrect Dickie Goodman to be the referee; SWEET!

Janna said...

I've never tried drugs before, but if I did, I think this is remarkably similar to what it would be like.

(*fights urge to stop humming the combined melodies*)

Accghh!

(**tries harder**)

gab said...

ok I admit its weird, funny as hell and damnit who cares if its a mashup? its just plain good!!! I love a good laugh when Im down

lime said...

this is disturbing in the extreme. and yet i can't look away.

Jaime said...

if i ever decide to leave the law to be a singer, i want you to write all my hit songs

VE said...

subby - Now there's a reference!

janna - See...I'm like drugs without the after effects...sort of...

gab - That's why I'm here...to kick you when you're down...err... I mean to make you laugh when you're down.

lime - I knew if I wrote them ...they would come...scary...

jaime - As long as I get credit in the liner notes...oh wait, they don't do liner notes anymore...damn itunes!