Thursday, July 15, 2010

Dial-A-Rant

Today’s Theme Thursday is HELP and it occurs to me that after the seemingly never ending profanity-laced racially-slurred tapings of Mel Gibson all get out on the airways, he’s going to need some help with his new career since he trash talked his way out of the old one.

Yes, not since Lindsay Lohan went to Cannes instead of court or Tom Cruise verbally slapped Brook Shields in public has a celebrity been this stupid.

But I can help with a new career. In the tradition of the old Dial-A-Joke phone number you could call and get some lame joke told to you…Mel can start his own Dial-A-Rant.

That’s right, you can either call on your overpriced mega-feature cell phone and Mel will appear and verbally chew you out. You can customize it too. You can scale the level of profanity as well as choose the race you would like him to slur. In fact, you can even have him incorporate your favorite Mad Max and Lethal Weapon lines into his trash talking dialogue.

Don’t have an overpriced mega-feature cell phone? Don’t worry…for a small fee you can use your overpriced computer or laptop through your overpriced internet service provider to get on to the Dial-A-Rant web site and for a few you can watch Mel chew you out or even designate one of thousands of other celebrities that he’ll be happy to spit words of fire at.

Yes, thanks to VE’s creative help…Mel will still get to keep his mansion and put caviar on the table…

35 comments:

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

Number one, and I read the post first too!

Bonnie the Boss said...

The man is an idiot! That is all I have to say. But I might use it to send a rant to my hubby. lol.

lime said...

ya know, i used to be a fan of his but his increasing belligerence and displays of racism are just too much.

RA said...

Mel's verbal errings haven't reached the news level here in Finland, heheh. Still, wickedly nice of you to offer some good hearted help!

ReformingGeek said...

Mel who?

Dial-a-rant. It's not your grandma's soap....box.

;-)

Betsy said...

what a great idea you have...it would be funny if he wasn't so sick.

nonamedufus said...

His movie career may have crashed and burned but I think he stands to make millions ghostwriting gangsta rap lyrics.

The Incredible Woody said...

Can send the tongue lashing to others? Anonymously?

Mrsupole said...

And this is why I have stopped going to the movies. Or why I rarely even buy a DVD or even watch a movie. And if I could get hubby to give up the movie part on cable TV then I would do that too. I am sick of actors and actresses acting like they are better or smarter than we are. I am so sorry that the young people of today idolize these idiots.

Some of them need to crawl back into the hole they came from and the world would be a better place.

God bless.

Roy said...

Hmmmmm... I dunno, now that he's shot himself in the foot with his big mouth he may be gun shy.

Monkey Man said...

Poor Mel needs to have his ego stroked in order to help him quell that anger. I am sure there is a black, jewish female holding a baby out there that would be glad to help.

Wasn't his given name Richard Cranium.

Dot-Com said...

I think for a small extra fee maybe the rant could be emailed afterwards?

Subby said...

I thought Alec Baldwin started this( rimshot! )

And celebs do stupid things? Nooooooooo...!

Elizabeth said...

Did Mel say somthing offensive again?? I'll have to google his name and find out what he did.

Brian Miller said...

since his agent dropped him, he just might take you up on this...lol.

Janice said...

Yep, Mel's a sad case.

CatLadyLarew said...

Do you think I could get Mel's rant as a ring tone?

Serena said...

As much as I loathe Mel, I'd pay him to deliver a couple of good rants to a few people.:)

VE said...

Perpetual chocoholic – Yes, but how would I know that from this comment? ;)

Bonnie – I knew you couldn’t resist…

Lime – I actually like a lot of his movies…doesn’t mean I have to like him though…

Ra – You’re very fortunate there…well…until the winter and its dark for 23 hours a day…

Betsy – I try to look beyond the sickness and make everyone equal and in contention for humor abuse…

Incredible woody – Sure…that’s the great part…

Mrsupole – I don’t…I just enjoy the movies and laugh at the ridiculousness of the rest…

Roy – He’ll be more motivated when he’s out on the street cursing with the homeless…

Monkey man – And Portland is full of black Jewish baby moms so he can come up here…

Dot-com – I think that’s fair. The challenge will be to get his rant down to the size he can tweet it…

Subby – Good one…forgot about that…

Elizabeth – You won’t have to go far…it’s all over the media…

Brian – Bet he cursed out his agent too!

Janice – Doesn’t stop me from making fun of him of course. The gnomes don’t play favorites…

Catladylarew – Ha! Just be sure to put it on silent when you’re in the day care…

Serena – See…people jus t cannot resist using his rants on others. It’s that kind of love and caring that make the world go round!

aladdinsane12 said...

i want it to exist. right now!

Subby said...

VE, if I can access my playlists I'll attempt to email ya a bootlegged George Carlin rant...not for the faint of heart...

Roy Scribner said...

I would dial a rant in a heartbeat - in fact, this just might be a good idea for a blog...

sharonheg said...

Q: What’s the difference between the Mars Rover and Mel Gibson? A: The Mars Rover might actually work again.

Leeuna said...

What happened to him? He used to be a nice guy...or so he had us believing. Maybe he's going through menopause?

secret agent woman said...

I sincerely wish this would de-rail Gibson's career, but I'm afraid it won't.

Baino said...

There's a line somewhere where you can get someone to break up with your partner. They call and do the 'dropping' for you . . nasty I know but Mel and Alex would be great . . how does he talk with all those bleeps tho? Very clever.

moondustwriter said...

Put all the rants together and send them his way. At least he will get some mail

Me said...

What's the name of the guy who did "Kramer" on Seinfeld? I think that him & Mel could go into business together in this venture...
-C

A.Decker said...

I never cease to be astonished by the attitude of judging your entertainer by his personal life. Mel's a first rate actor and director. What does some shit he said on the phone to somebody I don't know have to do with that?

Nice effort, VE. I'm just bored with the subject.

VE said...

Aladdinsane12 – Yes…and like teleportation and time travel too…

Subby – Cool…thanks

Roy – True…I’d probably get sued but it would be fun!

Sharon – Ha! Good one…

Leeuna – Perhaps he should go to anger management…

Secret agent woman – I don’t mind his movies…and the rest I just watch in amusment…

Baino – I heard about that…imagine being a phone operator there!

Moondustwriter – Oh…I’m sure he’s getting mail…just not the kind he wants…

Me – Good one…I forgot he did that too…

a.decker – Yeah but I still watch his movies. Doesn’t matter to me if he wants to be an idiot…

Janna said...

Mel clearly needs therapy and/or medication.
I recommend arsenic.

Jaime said...

i was watching the news this morning and this guy ran his own breaking up with people service. i can't believe people actually pay for that service.

but i think mel would be excellent in that capacity.

Megan said...

He never should have left the prison colony...

VE said...

janna - Arsenic does help to calm one's nerves and prevent spewage of profanity. Good call...

jaime - What if you never take the call?

megan - If he had done that he'd be making the film Galipoli XVII by now...

gab said...

OMG plz dont give them any more attention than they are already getting. Mel...Lindsey god Im getting sick of these fools. why is it they are famous they have money and they think they can do anything? Oh yes I forgot the publicity the more stupid crap they do the more they get attention. blah