Fantasy Road Rage

It’s a pity I enjoy my job because I’ll soon be rich from my next invention.

I call my new product Fantasy Road Rage.

It’s a screen you mount next to the driver’s seat with a camera both in front of the car and behind the car that project what you’re seeing onto the screen. Then, at red lights when your car isn’t actually moving (thanks to a sensor that detects so which can easily be uninstalled until you kill somebody and Oprah bans the uninstallation feature) you can simulate whatever you would like to have happen in front of you or behind you with the actual cars you’re seeing.

Watch in road rage glee as you invoke a semi-truck to suddenly come out of nowhere and “take out” the two idiot cars in front of you that don’t seem to get the anti-cell phone law.

Have an elephant drop on that irritating pedestrian that gave you the stink eye just because you stopped at the last minute while they were crossing the street.

Drop nails small land mines for those tailgaters behind you that won’t seem to stop riding your bumper in hopes they can gain 10 feet on you by passing illegally.

You’ll have so much fun with the possibilities of revenge that you’ll begin to cherish missing a light. You might not even want to go when it turns green! (which of course will prompt the guy behind you to use his Road Rage game to wipe you out with a sudden stampede of wild animals that send your car end over end until it explodes.)

Available at all VE stores soon!