Friday, July 23, 2010

I'd do Anything for You

Just the other day I somehow wandered into a place playing old 80s songs and before I could back out of the store with my hands over my ears shouting “Nah nah nah nah” in the vain hope of not letting any big hair rock ballads enter into my brain and stay there tormenting me for the rest of the day, a song from Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine blurted out through the loudspeaker.

“I’d do anything for you….” she sang.

Now given the plethora of earworms that could have been playing; that one wasn’t so bad. It has a nice melody and all you have to do is grab a few tissues for the wifey-poo to wipe up the sentimental tears and all is good.

But this particular song always has me wondering…

“Really? You’d actually do anything?” I would mentally ponder.

And of course, being VE, I then end up diving down into a disturbing mental list of ridiculous nonsensical scenarios that I would suggest she prove her commitment with…

Would you run through the streets in Iraq with a T-shirt that says ‘Islamic Fatwas are just talk, talk, talk’?

Would eat a jumbo jar of Skippy peanut butter in one sitting with no milk and then whistle Take me Out to the Old Ball game right afterward?

Would you build a sail boat out of twinkies and try to make it to the Somalian beach with a sign that says “We buy Gold for cash” on the sail?

Would you go on national television and try to appeal for the release of Linsay Lohan by making a passionate plea about her undiscovered good virtues?

Would you dress up as a Jewish divorce attorney and trick or treat at Mel Gibson’s house?


You have no idea how long I could continue this list…

33 comments:

Megan said...

Keep going. You're on a roll.

Cocotte said...

Stopped by on Lime's recommendation.......I love the last idea!

Roy said...

The Lindsay Lohan thing might be fun, actually. And the Mel Gibson one could be both entertaining and lucrative with a camera crew along.

Dale said...

...but I won't do that. Keep trying!

CatLadyLarew said...

I think you should send some of the gnomes to plead for Lindsay's early release from jail. The rest of the gnomes could offer to be Mel's divorce lawyers. They'd, of course, have to do all these tasks while singing, "I'd do anything for you..." in four part harmony.

The Incredible Woody said...

Would you walk alone at night through Los Angeles? Oh wait, you did that!

VE said...

megan - A jelly roll, maybe...

cocotte - That Lime...she's a zany one...I know she'll like that last one too...

roy - And perhaps dangerous if he does more than fire profanities...

dale - Then you're not committed enough...

catladylarew - Good idea. But you really don't want to hear the gnomes in four part hamony...oh wait, you'd want Mel too...good point!

incredible woody - Yes...but the Skippy peanute butter thing didn't work out so well... ;)

ReformingGeek said...

I like to clarify with "almost anything".

Sheesh. Who am I kidding? I'd just keep my mouth shut.

lime said...

yes, i do like that last one. ;)

would you dress in a bacon suit and then picnic in the tiger exhibit at the zoo?

secret agent woman said...

I can relate - whenever someone says "I'll try anything once" I start generating a list in my head of things that I'm skeptical they'd actually try. Spend the night in a coffin filled with spiders? Sex with a seal? Eat a fetus? Inject heroin into their armpit? So many, many things people would never do once.

Mrsupole said...

It's a good thing that I wouldn't do anything for anyone and heck I would not even do anything for me either. Heck anyone is lucky I do anything at all, just ask my hubby.

Mel needs to grow up, Lindsay needs to just go away, oh hell Mel needs to go away with Lindsay and then we can see what the hell happens. They can slur their words together, do their drugs together, get drunk together. Heck it is already looking like a match made in heaven, opps I mean Hell. Two has beens, having it out with each other. An older man with a younger woman, what more can Lindsay ask for. I mean he is into younger women these days, because they are the only ones who he can control and stupid enough to care. Why do these idiots stay in the US when they could go away to North Korea or Iran and stay with some people who might give a hoot about them.

We need to boycott anything connected with these idiots, so I am now officially boycotting your sentences and my sentences about the two of them, which now makes this a very short comment. Yeah, you wish.

God bless.

Monkey Man said...

That's gay, black, female, jewish divorce attorney. How many times do I have to tell you.

Mrsupole said...

And I cannot even vote for any of the choices because I know my state's flower, can recogizne my state's flag, sadly know every theiving, tax robbing branch of government, could balance my check book if I bothered, studied how electricity works, can hammer a nail, can cook if I wanted to, and even know there is more than an engine under the hood, duh, like the battery, transmission and those other little thingies that make an engine go.

But it would take a book for me to write down all of the other things that I am inept at. Geez, I will give you that electricity is a truly vague question in that it could have a lot of answers. The easiest one being that I turn a switch on and it works, or I plug it in and it works, well you get the picture.

And the last time it rained, I stood outside for hours holding my umbrella up as high as possible and nothing. Hubby was so mad because the TV was still not working, and we hadn't saved a penny on our electric bill. I never told him that I forgot to hook up the extension cord to the end of the umbrella, dang man should have known that ones needs to be connected for the electricity to work.

God bless.

Elizabeth said...

Now I want some Twinkies!

Subby said...

You still have th' floor on this one~HA!

Quirkyloon said...

Would I lie to you.
Would I lie to you honey, erm, I mean VE?
Now would I say something that wasn't true.
Am I asking you sugar, erm, I mean VE would I lie-eye-eye-ey-eye to you!?

Of course I would. Cuz I'd do anything for you.

Whew! I'm shocked I remembered those songs. And you should be too.

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

Nope!

JenJen said...

Damn. It's like you're too witty for me to even hang out here.

VE said...

Reforminggeek – Some keep just can’t seem to...(like Mel Gibson, for example…)

Lime – Good one…but I hate wearing my favorite bacon suit without my hashbrown shoes…

Secret agent woman – Ha! Yes, none of those sound particularly appealing. Fetus eating is high in cholestoral too…

Mrsupole – Ah…so she modified your “I’d do barely anything for you”…

Monkey man – See…now you’re profiling! Plus…those are hard to find in Portland…

Mrsupole – I chose the wrong ones for you…I’ll try better next time!

Elizabeth – Even after sailing with them all that way…they still look the same…

Subby – I’ll bet I get to clean it too…. ;)

Quirkyloon – Excellent rendition…and I can still tolerate the Eurhythmics too…

Perpetual chocoholic – Finally…some honesty!

Jenjen – Nah…the gnomes said you could hang out all you like…

Janna said...

My soul is sobbing at the very thought of wasting Twinkies.

Mrsupole said...

Whoops, sorry VE, but you can pick any of them you want as I know you always do, which is why those of us who vote, vote. I finally picked one which I am sure was not hard to guess, but I must have still been in a Amb*en haze because you know that is when I go off on a tangent. But the first comment is short once you do boycott certain parts.

I must have too much time on my hands and need to go back to work like you.

God bless.

Jay said...

Hahahahaaha! That's funny! Came here via 'I'd rather be blogging' this morning, and what a coincidence that you should post about this very subject! I did one on 'I'll do anything' last week.

Love the list. LOL!

Roy Scribner said...

Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine is old? Oh crap!

Serena said...

Reading your list, I realized that I wouldn't -- couldn't -- do squat for anyone, except perhaps listen to one or two old big hair ballads.:)

sharonheg said...

No, Yes, No, No, No ;-)

VE said...

Janna – Oh they’re not wasted…let ‘em dry out for a day and they’ll taste pretty much the same!

Mrsupole – I definitely don’t have too much time on my hands anymore! Trouble now is that they know I’m a contractor and they’re whining because they want to keep me around…nice to be wanted I guess…

Jay – Maureen is/was a longtime follower around here. I will strive to see what we posted in common…I just need an extra few hours to the day…

Roy – You’ve been camping too long!

Serena – That should be enough!

Sharonheg – You can do the Skippy one eh? You’ve got talent!

Jaime said...

oh, ve... ANYTHING for you

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

But apparently you wouldn't wait for your change in the gift shop when buying an anniversary card after a couple of coffee orders;-)

aladdinsane12 said...

at least meatloaf had the decency to admit that there was one thing he wouldn't do for somebody. i'm pretty sure it's the last one on your list.

VE said...

jaime - Ha! As long as I post and comment, right?

perpetual chocoholic - Now you wouldn't have commented that if you hadn't cheated and missed a blog post, read the more current and then came back and commented on the older post. Don't think I don't know what's going on around here, missy! ;)

aladdinsane12 - Well...I know it wasn't to overeat...he's got that one down...

gab said...

Im at a lose for words.

VE said...

gab - Not entirely true...you used six of them...

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