Thursday, July 22, 2010

You're damn right it's my Birthday

That's right...today's my birthday. So far only one person has acknowledged that...the wifey poo. That's ok though...I get even with the gnomes later...I'm going to swap their colorful pointed hats with white Gilligan's Island sailor caps. I know...it's cruel.

I observe three rules during my Birthday

1. I don't work on my Birthday

And while I try my darndest to make this an everyday rule, people keep wanting money for my house, my food, my toys, etc. etc. etc. No wonder cavemen didn't evolve much....they didn't have to! Alas...this year I'm working on my Birthday. No work, no pay. I feel guilty about violating my rule...

2. It doesn't rain on my Birthday

Despite yet another "marine layer" sneaking up to suffocate a perfectly clear blue sky this morning, I will not tolerate rain...something I haven't seen on my Birthday ever. It helps that my Birthday is in late July around here because that's a pretty safe bet. The years that it did rain here I was elsewhere. I almost had it violated two years ago when I got married (always have your wedding on your Birthday...helps with remembering anniversaries). The day was friggin' cold and cloudy and we were in summer attire (this Tuxedo stuff is for the dumb!) so we did freeze but it didn't actually rain.

3. I don't do "chores" on my Birthday

That honey do list that grows every.single.day? Ignored. Dinner? It's either served or we eat out. Of course I can't request it being served or I'd probably get served a quite frank and direct opinion on that request from the wifey-poo. But sometimes she likes to make something special for the occasion. That would involve some variation of a hunk of meat. You vegetarians shoo off now...go graze and we'll stalk you down and consume you later...

This year is a non-event year. You know...the ones between the decade celebrations designed to make you feel exactly as old as you are...

37 comments:

Subby said...

Holy blown candles, Batman! It's Mom's b-day as well. Unfortunately, she hadda go to dialysis but...presents, card, flowers and dinner later :) For her not you, sorry.

Happy Birthday! Hope you got the book. I'll count that as your present ;)

Subby said...

Hey! I guess this makes me the second person to acknowledge it...

And I'm first??? ( scratching head )

Subby said...

I try to avoid work as well. Bad enough I gotta work most Veteran's days, y'know? And as mine sometimes falls on Turkey day it's all the more reason to laze about~HA!

Subby said...

LMAO! I'm seeing the gnomes in little sailor white caps...they looked pretty pissed!

The Incredible Woody said...

Happy Birthday! Sounds like the perfect excuse for me to have a margarita. I'll toast to your health!

Baino said...

Happy birthday mate, may it never rain on your parade! Yeh I don't celebrate them much either unless there's a zero next to the number.

Roy said...

Happy Birthday! So are you going out to dinner after work?

VE said...

subby - I did get the book and I will consider it a Bday present. It looks good...that'll be my weekend read when I'm at this spa retreat we booked this weekend. Actually, we're going hiking Sat & Sun but we have all this massage and hot tub and lay around time at a spa resort close by...THAT is my actual birthday present.

incredible woody - Excellent idea. If you know enough people, everday is a margarita day!

baino - Thanks, me neither. But next year is a BIG one...Uggh...

roy - Oh yes, you can count on it!

nonamedufus said...

Hey, who knew? Well you did apparently. And I'm glad you told us. At least you know you'll be getting some tonight...dinner that is. Happy Birthday.

RA said...

Happy birthday to you,
happy biirthdaay too youuu,
happy biiiirthdaaay,
deeaar VEEEEE,
haaaappy biiirthdaaayyy tooo yooouuu!

:D

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

So how old are you? Happy Birthday! I had mine a week ago. The best people are born in July. That's my theory anyways.

00dozo said...

"Happy, happy, joy, joy!" [doing my best Stimpy impression] But, no, I won't leave you a stinky - it'll just get muddled up in the "marine layer" and that's waaay too much hang time).

But really, Happy Birthday!
(and many more!)
;-)

VE said...

nonamedufus - I'm not worried...I get some every night...dinner that is...

ra - Hey, my first Bday song! Thank you...

perpetual chocoholic - I'm 49. No really. And...I intend to start using that again next year too...

00dozo - I didn't know you did impersonations! Looked good to me. I'll Fed Ex the marine layer to you...it won't be missed around here...

Mrsupole said...

Happy Birthday to you, may your birthday wishes come true. Well I mean may you get whatever type of dinner you are wishing for. 49 is stll young but remember Jack Benny was always 39 and holding.

God bless.

sharonheg said...

Happy Birthday!

Roy Scribner said...

Seriously, VE's Fantastical Nonsense isn't a "chore"? I must be doing it wrong...(lol)

Quirkyloon said...

Happy birthday you old hag.

Is hag only feminine?

Okay. Happy birthday you old haggo. Or hagger. Or haggerski. Or haggernator.

Take yer pick.

I'm generous that way. *grin*

ReformingGeek said...

29 and holding?

Uh huh.

Be kind to your gnomes, VE!

Happy Birthday!

aladdinsane12 said...

happy b-day, dude! i TOTALLY observe the "no working on your birthday" rule, too. my birthday. not yours. ok, well if you insist. i'll take tomorrow off as a memorial.

Megan said...

Congrats on making it this far. However far it's been!

monica said...

hi hip hooray for you! so you're in the sign Cancer..
"A crab is able to walk or run sideways. Similarly, Cancer natives can sometimes "move about" in life, in a figurative sense, in an indirect manner." and: "Cancer's glyph, or symbol, may represent the breasts as a symbol of the nurturing qualities of the sign." .. hehe, so there...

Subby said...

VE, sounds relaxing, indeed ;) Enjoy the week-end!

Subby said...

Oooh what Mrsupole said about Benny ( and after reading his shtick on that years ago, it all makes sense. ) HA!

lime said...

well happy birthday a day late!

Elizabeth said...

Happy Happy Birthday!!

CatLadyLarew said...

Dang! I missed the party! Happy Birthday, anyway!

Cocotte said...

I also have a long list of birthday do's and don't rules. Hope your day was a good one.

VE said...

Mrsupole – Actually, I don’t mind the 49…the 40s were a whirlwind of frustration and angst…oh, and some good blogging too…

Sharonheg – Thanks

Roy – Not if my company would just pay me to do it…it wouldn’t be a chore then. But I’ll tell you what is a chore…updating the blog count…I’m working on it but I let the count lapse for over a month…ugh!

Quirkyloon – I like haggernator…it implies that I won’t stop. Ever. Plus I want to be able to form my body into cool shapes like they did in T2…

Reforminggeek – Why I haven’t been 29 since I was 29 and I don’t even remember when that was…

Aladdinsane12 – Good for you…avoid them all and do what you want. Yes…please observe it every day!

Megan – It’s far!

Monica – But I’m right on the cusp so that means…well…I have no idea but it must mean something!

Subby – It will be!

Lime – Now you owe me a dollar. You know…day late, dollar short…

Elizabeth – No need to stutter over my Bday…thanks!

Catladylarew – We have one piece of cake left (we didn’t let Milton have it…)

Cocotte – The list should be long…good for you!

lime said...

sorry, but i'm a dollar short after all....

VE said...

lime - Aren't we all!

Roy Scribner said...

Yeah, I could tell - I was gone for two weeks and yet I'm still at the top of the blog roll!

Janna said...

How exciting!
And, by "exciting", I mean "I can't remember if you're older than me or not, but I'm going to pretend you're much older so I can dance around in youthful vigor."

And, by "youthful vigor", I mean "Let's have THREE pieces of cake so we can feel our brain cells being poked and electrified by enough sugar to frighten a three-year-old."

Perhaps this isn't one of those years where I make sense a lot.

It's ok.
Coherence is overrated.

Dee said...

happy birthday- Belated but heart felt

VE said...

Roy – There’s still time to catch up on the old ones. But you better hurry!

Janna – I told somebody I was 49 yesterday and there jaw dropped. Apparently I don’t look my age….and finally that’s paying off because it didn’t work so well when I was trying to look over 21…

Dee – Aww…thanks for popping in and saying so.

Jaime said...

so i'm a little late on this one, but happy birthday. hope it was a great one.

VE said...

jaime - A little late? I'm practically collecting social security! ;)

gab said...

Im sorry I missed it but late better than never right? Soooooooo


HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR VE
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOOOOOOOOOOOO YOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUU
and many more.

Better than hearing me really sing right? lol