Saturday, August 07, 2010

The Answers are Finally Here

The trouble with artists who write songs that ask questions is that they never get an answer back. This concerned me and so I’ve taken on the responsibility to finally return some answers to those questions that have been out there so long. Here goes:

Girl, by The Beatles.
Lyrical question: “Is there anybody going to listen to my story all about the girl who came to stay?”

Yes. But only because you’re in The Beatles and there’s a finite amount of awesome material by you guys. Had you asked me this, Paul, after you went solo and wrote Ebony and Ivory and Silly Love Songs I would have to change my answer.

Do you really want to hurt me by Culture Club
Lyrical question: “Do you really want to hurt me?”

Not anymore. My policy is not to risk jail time for 80s has-been musical acts even though there are still sudden urges toward violence at yet another playing of this song. Besides, I think he’s hurting for money enough these days.

Does anybody really know what time it is by Chicago
Lyrical Question: “Does anybody really know what time it is?”

No. Time is a concept designed by humans to subject other humans toward compliance and unity. Nobody really knows what time it is because nobody cares. What people really care about is either power, control or their own self being and time is the red herring toward that end.

Should I Stay or Should I Go by The Clash
Lyrical question: “Should I stay or should I go?”

Go. Duh! I mean he says right in the lyrics that if he goes there will be trouble but if he stays it will be double. Several thoughts come to mind here:

1. Never double up on trouble
2. Just walk away and put an end to the suffering (a favorite line from Road Warrior)
3. With intelligence like this it’s no wonder the punk movement didn’t survive

Why don’t we do it in the road by The Beatles
Lyrical question: “Why don’t we do it in the road?”

1. Because you’ll most likely get run over by a teenager texting while driving
2. Asphalt, as a sexual surface, is both hot and hard on the knees and hands

Is this why Willie Nelson is always On the Road again? (don’t answer, it’s rhetorical)

Do you believe in Magic by The Lovin’ Spoonful
Lyrical question: “Do you believe in Magic?”

No. I can always Google the answer to a magic trick…

What’s New Pussycat by Tom Jones
Lyrical question: “What’s new pussycat?”

3D televisions! Of course, back in your time, Tom, that would have been Tang and cyclamates

And to all of the artists that continue to ask questions, I will strive to answer them in a future post.

29 comments:

CatLadyLarew said...

So, what do you get when you fall in love, VE?

M.Bug said...

You can Google the answers to a magic trick? I Google everything and it never even crossed my mind to Google answers to magic tricks! Could it be that I Google so much stuff that I cannot THINK now??? Should I Google the answer to my own question?

Roy said...

And do you know the way to San Jose? Just checking.

Prayer Girl said...

What a creative idea for a blog. The themes blogs can take never cease to amaze me.

PG

unfinishedperson.com said...

Like Prayer Girl, me also amazed by themes blog you have here. ;)

The ultimate question is Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy by Annie Lennox. Of course, the proverbial answer is Why not? Or I don't know. But whatever it is, I dig the song.

The Incredible Woody said...

So who let the dogs out?

Janna said...

Where have all the flowers gone?

Do you hear what I hear?

Dennis the Vizsla said...

It's about time somebody cleared these questions up. Now can you please tell Shawn Colvin what the hell is this, who made this bloody mess?

Mrsupole said...

Can you Bing the magic tricks? I think I like Binging better than I like Googling. Do you think Bing should make White Christmas their theme song? I'm just saying! Is there a question in that song? I'm just asking!

God bless.

Roy Scribner said...

What's your name, little girl? What's your name?

I took your advice and Googled it, VE. Her name is Kat. Bing was no help, at all!

Elizabeth said...

So tell me what you want, what you really really want.

Baino said...

Who do you think you are and what's my age again?

gab said...

and where did Joe go?

Subby said...

Sorry VE, but I thought the answer my friend, is blowing in the wind. And as much as I'd like to rock the casbah, I can't. What with all this workin' in a coal mine and part time down at Joe's garage, I've barely enough time for walkin' the dog. It's bad enough that my Gnome-mobile broke down and I have to ride my bicycle to work. Is it any wonder I do so much tossin' and turnin' when I finally do manage to get to bed.

Wish I had too much time on my hands. I could go downtown or, oh heck! Help!

ReformingGeek said...

Silly me. I thought the answers were all 42.

Chris Wood said...

So that's what Tom Jones was on about! It all makes sense now ...

Jay said...

'Had you asked me this, Paul, after you went solo and wrote Ebony and Ivory and Silly Love Songs I would have to change my answer.'

Hahahahaa! I'm so with you on that one. LOL!

Love Subby's comment. I have to go visit that blog now. Also Reforming Geek!

lime said...

i was doing great until you got to tom jones, then i threw up a little in my mouth. good answers all, though!

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

What ReformingGeek said. Everyone knows the real answer to everything is 42.

VE said...

Catladylarew – Well first I get up off the ground to see if I’ve hurt myself from the fall…

m.bug – In the end, Google will take over for our brains…

roy – I sure do. I used to cruise El Camino Blvd there back in 1980!

Prayer girl – Themes provide us some focus to post something on. Without them you’d get random nonsense here…wait…you get that anyway…nevermind…

Unfinishedperson – Why? I believe the Mickey Mouse Club answered that years ago. “Because we like you!”

Incredible woody – That easy…the cats did it!

Janna – You haven’t been watching the Rose Parade for awhile, have you? As for the hearing question…nobody

Dennis – The butcher of course…they’re always making bloody messes!

Mrsupole – I was one of the first users for Google and you can’t make me switch. You can’t make, you can’t make…

Roy – You might get arrested for asking that these days…

Elizabeth – I’m with Lucy from Charlie Brown….Real Estate!

Baino – I think I’m not rich enough to do nothing and my age is too young to retire and do nothing…

Gab – To his mamma. Get it? Joe Mamma. Hahahaha…oh, nevermind…

Subby – Leave it to Dylan to know all the answers but then be vague about the details!

Reforminggeek – They are…when that is your IQ as well!

Chris – Suddenly the 60s make sense again!

Jay – It’s sad when the good ones go soft. Stevie Wonder is another example…

Lime – You drank the koolaide back then, didn’t you?

Perpetual chocoholic – As in “How much money did you make last year?” $42

Subby said...

Obscure reference answer to the "Why don't we do it in the road" question...

Blue Oyster Cult's "Career of Evil"...email me for th' line...

VE said...

subby - Yes, my daughter is OFF limits...especially on dirt roads! ;)

Subby said...

HA! Somehow I knew you'd know that ;)

sharonheg said...

I'm a believer!

carlae said...

And now for my 20th comment of the year....."what you want, what you want?

Suldog said...

Well, see, this is why I don't come here. Every genius concept of yours is something I wish I came up with first. I shall now spend the day trying to figure out how to steal this without you knowing.

VE said...

Subby – Sure do!

Sharonheg – Oh, quit monkeying around… ;)

Carlae – That’s weird…for some reason I didn’t take you off my “did not comment” list…

Suldog – Steal away…nobody will know…

Jaime said...

why must i be a teenager in love?

VE said...

jaime - Because otherwise you would have been in the band 10cc singing "I'm not in Love"