Coming to a Gas Station Near You
First there was the Ford Explorer
Then there was the Ford Expedition
Then there was the Ford Excursion
Well…the gnomes have done a little investigating and found out that right before the oil companies decided that nobody could really stop them from charging $4-$5 a gallon for gas Ford had another even bigger SUV in the works.
The model? You got it…the Ford Excretion! Because you’ll shit when you see how much it costs to fill the tank in that behemoth. Oh, and then you’ll shit again when you find that the gas mileage is so poor that you cannot get back home without filling it up again.
I stopped over at the Bad Guy Store again the other day since I have all this free time now that I’m not posting every single day. Turns out the bad guys are still buying those machine guns that don’t hit people like they are going out of style.
They did have a fun new device that sends out 2500 distinct garage opener signals every second. The bad guys can now go around the ritzy neighborhoods in the winter when everyone has gone South to seek the sun and open right up and come on in.
Just wait until they perfect that auto computer virus that has your car break down in a remote place based on geo coordinates and then allows the bad guys to hijack your car without any outsider hassle.
Technology works both ways, folks…
Vanity Store Update
It’s been a little tough in the “one upsmanship” for phone owners. Seems everyone and their brother have the latest, greatest smart phone. So how can you make your friends and acquaintances feel truly inadequate in these times? The Vanity Store has the answer. They have a unique phone holder that makes it appear as if you have a 30% bigger and vastly superior phone that you just tell them you’re on the elite prototype squad but that because of proprietary liability you can’t show them the phone or let them touch it. They’re selling like hot cakes to the superficial people of the world…