Tuesday, January 03, 2012

The Secret Censors Code

Happy New Years from VE and the Gnomes!


Having a teenage boy I felt fortunate that I’d somehow missed a high percentage of badly made action films that my son dragged me to. Lord knows I saw more than my fair share when I was a teen.

So it came as not much surprise to find myself watching “Snakes on a Plane” with him. At least it wasn’t in the theater and I could compensate by amusing myself with my laptop, smart phone, magazines and a plethora of other ADD items at the same time.

However, this wasn’t on a movie channel and so censorship was in full throttle during the movie. Now, censorship is a funny discipline. It comes in several forms:

1. Blank out the profanity. This doesn’t work particularly well for the F word though. If you’ve ever heard this technique applied on the radio then you know that just blanking out the middle of that swear word still yields that same word when you hear it. I guess it’s the lazy man’s way of addressing the issue.


2. Beeping out the profanity. This will either rend the picture highly irritating or highly amusing depending on how much beeping they end up with. You can imagine a picture like Scarface or the Big Lebowski being a solid beep.


3. Making up an alternative word with a voiceover. This is the most amusing option. First of all, it changes the original move. Not that TV hasn’t been doing that anyway as they cut and chop to squeeze in more commercial time. But sometimes they get really creative.

So back to Snakes on a Plane. The infamous line in the movie is when Samuel Jackson says “I’m sick and tired of these mother-fucking snakes on this mother-fucking plane!”

Now…I don’t know what they substituted for “mother-fucking snakes” because I wasn’t paying enough attention but they substituted “mother-fucking plane” for “Monday through Friday plan”!

I had to voluntarily blink twice and confirm with my son what I’d just heard. This had to be the most hilarious switch up for a swear word. I also think it’s a great inside code word that we all can use in our daily lives.

Imagine going to work and saying “I love my Monday through Friday job!” We all know what it really means! You can take it further. Go to your back-stabbing boss and tell them they’re a real “Monday through Friday” type of person!

Yes, thanks to the censors, I now have a secret code I can apply and then smile as nobody will know what I’m REALLY saying

9 comments:

sybil law said...

I hope you'll be having more Monday-through-Friday posts! :)

Mrsupole said...

It's about Monday through Friday time that you get back to posting more than once every three months. We Monday through Friday miss you.

It is nice to know that your son is willing to sit with you and watch a movie, but Snakes on a Plane gives me the creeps. Not sure which is worse, the TSA patting you down or the snakes crawling around on a plane. Maybe the snakes are better.

Hope the gnomes behaved on New Year's eve.

God bless.

The Incredible Woody said...

Ha! I watched (meaning my nephew watched it while I surfed the net and played Spider Solitaire) it, too. They were 'monkey fighting' snakes :)

ReformingGeek said...

Even better. Let's shorten it!

"Hey M-F! Get off the phone and drive!"


Hum...

Anne said...

:)

shakes head

Serena said...

LOL. Now I'm armed with code for my boss. He doesn't even comprehend English; he'll never get this.:)

VE said...

sybil law - As long as I get my Monday through Friday comments coming in...

mrsupole - There you go...more, more, more. Which is hard to do when I'm motivated to do less, less, less...

incredible woody - Thank you for filling in the important missing one. Monkey fighting...ha!

reforminggeek - Careful though...once you shorten it, people start to figure it out...

anne - I needed my head shake for 2012. Thank you!

serena - Glad I could be of help in the working world. Wait until I find an application for it using Powerpoint to a wider corporate audience...

bon bon said...

my husband and i still pull out the old "slug in a ditch!" which if i recall, came out of the mouth of micheal j fox. don't ask me which movie though.

lime said...

i want the job of coming up with ridiculous alternatives for samuel l jackson to shout. could be a lot of fun.