Sunday, February 05, 2012

The Matrix - Beatles Version

You know how there are countless versions of Monopoly?  I’ve posted on it before but it’s the franchise mentality of board games.  Take a safe bet and just spin it a different way.  Uggh.  The world doesn’t need three different versions of American Idol to watch on TV.  We don’t need 297 different themed versions of Monopoly clogging the store shelf where we might actually put something original that we haven’t played 6,827 times before. 

But you know, that’s such a “cup half empty” point of view, isn’t it?  I think I could spin this into something very amusing.  What if the “Matrix” had themed versions?  Those crafty machines…I’ll bet they had some entire Matrix environments where they stuck poor humans into a completely themed reality.  Let’s take a look…
The Matrix – Beatles theme
[Neo wakes up in the Matrix lying in front of the Albert Hall.  He looks to his right…a tangerine tree.  He looks to his left…rocking horse people eating marshmallow pies.  Across from the Norwegian wood plaque stood an old man leaning over into Abbey Road just as a magical mystery bus is approaching.]
Neo [yells]:  Get Back!
[The Old Man jumps back just as the bus goes by.  He turns to Neo]
Old Man:  Listen, do you want to know a secret?
Neo:  Sure
Old Man:  I was fixing a hole.
Neo:  Tell me Why?
Old Man:  Because they’re here, there and everywhere
Neo:  I’ve got to get back to the USSR.  Will this bus get me to the airport?
Old Man:  You’ll need a ticket to ride…
[Neo made the bus in seconds flat and sat in the back.  The woman next to him taps him on the arm just as the sunshine peers out from the clouds as they drive along]
Woman:  Here comes the sun
Neo:  It’s alright
Woman:  I’m a singer in a band.  I’m on my way to the marketplace.  My husband has a barrow there.  Hope you don’t mind my conversation.
Neo:  Anytime at all

[Neo continues a casual conversation and then gets off at the airport while he looks for the hardline phone to get back to reality.  Agent Smith is pursuing]
Agent Smith:  Neo, you’d better run for your Life
[Neo evades him by jumping into a limo and sneaking out the other side but runs into problems trying to open the phone booth when a woman with kaleidoscope eyes approaches]
Woman:  It never works.  Let it be.
Neo:  I’m making progress.  It won’t be long.
Woman:  Yeah, like when I’m 64!  I’ll be on my way.
[Neo finally opens the booth and waits for the call.  Agent Smith is approaching with a Silver Hammer to crush his attempts but Neo gets the call and escapes in the nick of time]
Trinity:  How was the Matrix?
Neo:  It’s getting better all the time!


nonamedufus said...

Very cleVEr, sir. You should be a paperback writer.

ReformingGeek said...

What a trip! Hmmmmm....

I think I'll just in my yellow submarine today.

GAB said...

Hummmm well seeing how Ive never seen the Matrix but I do know most of the Beatles songs I tried to picture this in my head and It looks like a Yellow Brick road good job old man! Ok sorry about the old man part!

Ed said...

nonamedufus - Thanks. It would have been cleverer if the formatting hadn't been lost. Sometimes Blogger is a bit mischevious...

reforminggeek - Don't let your cat drive it though...

gab - There are a lot of song references buried in there...

Mrsupole said...

Imagine all those people living on the yellow brick road, living a life of ease...

I want to hold your hand in strawberry fields forever, living a life of ease...

Okay, that's the end of my brain functioning in Beatleland.

God bless.