Wednesday, June 12, 2013

The Unwanted Does Live in Your Home!

I was just sitting there avoiding any real progress on whatever the point my life is here on Earth by eating a cup of yogurt.  Perhaps that was my mission on Earth.  But contemplating such things is too constructive and so I digressed even further.
"You know, this is one of those food items where I can eat the entire thing!" I thought.  There are no "unwanted" parts.  It's incredible in its simplicity.  I can tear off the lid, lick all the yogurt off of that.  Yep, don't want to waste's just fine.  The spoon seems to fit perfectly around the cylindrical container so you can get every last molecule of yogurt.  Sure, the bottom takes a bit of effort to scrape it all out but I'm willing to spend the extra 7 seconds in doing so because it will come out.  Oh no, this isn't that unmixed kind you have to actually work at to enjoy.  Good God, no.  I start buying that kind and the next thing they're going to try and sell me is something to churn my own butter because it'll be "better".
But let's get back to the "unwanted".
You have 'em.  You just may not know it.  Here, let VE call them out so you can remember what your memory had conveniently tried to forget.
There's the infamous leftover popcorn that won't seem to pop without burning the entire rest of the bag.  Oh sure, you could go to the movie theater and get a bucket of it without the uncooked kernels but you're going to have to pay $17.50 for it and it's probably been sitting in that display case for three days and while you may think that tastes like butter on it, who knows what that buttery liquid they pour on it is chemically composed of really.

Of course, the lazy and forgetful have to contend with the ketchup and mustard splooge attack if they forget to shake up the squeeze bottle before pouring...

I mean, let's face it, there are countless examples of "unwanted" food all over the place.  It might be that deformed cheerio that makes you question breakfast cereals ever again or it could simply be the cereal dust that infests your bowl when you pour too much cereal in at the end of the box.

There's the jam buildup on the lid and top of the jam jar that forms some sort of strange semi-solid, semi-liquid gummy bear quality to it that you're afraid to use because it might be like the "everlasting gobstopper" and you could end up chewing on it for eternity.

If you're into natural peanut butter you know you'll end up with an oil slick on the top of your jar without really hard work churning that oil into the actual peanut butter or otherwise you'll just end up with the "unwanted" at the end of the jar as you chisel off pieces of clay-like peanut butter that never got any of that oil you were too lazy to mix in.  This is why I eat Skippy to this day.  It's the same concept as the yogurt.  Don't even try to convince me otherwise or I'll end up churning butter again...

But you can't blame the packaging industry for all of it.  Nature provides plenty of examples of "unwanted" too.  I mean really, how mean people eat that "glob" that sometimes unpeels by the naval part of an orange?  Everything else is nicely sectionalized except that strange top part.  It won't usually taste nasty, but you look like an idiot sucking it off the peel. 

Nobody eats the tips and ends of a carrot.  They're "unwanted".  Some fruits end up with a lot of unwanted just because they're so damn hard to get to.  There is plenty of unwanted with a pineapple unless you take the time to cut it up carefully.  And Kiwis?  I'm too lazy to peel them into a fruit salad and so cutting the skin off missed a bunch of fruit because for some dumb reason they don't grow as perfect rectangles.  Go figure!

And as I typically do, I've merely shown you down a new road here and I'm sure you can come up with lots of other good "unwanted" should you chose to go a bit further.


Mrsupole said...

It sounds as if you heard that the Pope said that wasting food was the same thing as stealing from the poor. Maybe it is best to just buy food that does not have any of those unwanted parts although it seems an impossible task. I think the best part of eating one of those yogurts is to lick the lid. Have you tried the drinkable yogurts, just open the lid and pour and pour and pour. Love those yogurts.

God bless.

Subby said...

The ketchup & mustard splooge attack! Hate those *shakes bottle some more* But what really gets left behind, are the dregs in the bottom of my coffee cup :P

And back to ketchup...wanna really know why that paper band is at the top of the bottle?

ReformingGeek said...

Mangoes do me in every time. Sigh.

Ed said...

Mrsupole - What if I steal food from the pope and waste it?

subby - Coffee dregs...don't they serve that as a delicacy in Turkish coffees?

reforminggeek - Mangoes...pain in the butt fruit. Durian...smells like the butt fruit...