Thursday, March 20, 2014

The Great MEME Challenge Match: Lime vs VE (part 1)

Lime over at House of Lime recently had a MEME shredding post.  I LOVE MEME shredding.  I think she was the first to inspire me to shred them.  What is a MEME shred?  It's being ridiculous with the MEME questions if you haven't figured that out.  And where else but here can you get that much nonsense?  If you don't know what a MEME is...for shame!  It's just a way of helping the narcissistic bloggers have something to write about themselves by offering up a bunch of questions.

Lime started blogging back in 2005; a full 8 months before I started in 2006.  Yes, it was those nostalgic times when people were still blogging, when phones weren't smart, when we still had home phones, when people still used Internet Explorer as their browser, when George Bush was spending money we didn't have faster than Facebook was growing.  Ah, good times...

So given that Lime has actually been blogging even longer than I have, I thought I'd morph her MEME into a blog post MEME challenge match!!!  I'm going to take round one and add my own answers alongside hers and then I'll take first stab at the ones she didn't answer and see if she'll challenge those in the same way on her blog.   Should be fun...or at least ridiculous.

1 - Have you ever voluntarily put anything up your nose aside from drugs?

  Anyone who won't admit to having put a finger up there at some point during his or her life is a liar.
VE:  I once tried to put the state of North Dakota in there but it didn't quite fit

2 - Is it still there?

Lime:  (Looks shocked as if just caught in the act)  No! Of course not!
VE:  No, my nose was getting too cold in the winter

3 - How many real teeth (that is, not store bought) do you have in your mouth?

Lime:  32 
VE:  127.  I tried to fit more in but eventually you just start swallowing them...

4 - If you could take any two things on the planet and staple them together, what would they be?

Lime: The superintendent of my school district to the assistant superintendent.
VE:  I'd staple a vacuum cleaner to my neighbor's minivan.  Her driving already sucks...might as well let the rest of the world know too...

5 - Do you think plants can hear you think?

Lime:  Shhhh....
VE:  Of course not, whoever accused me of actually thinking?

6 - How many rocks are in your house?

Lime:  The ones in bowls on my counter or the ones in my head too?
Ed:  Just the one I'm living under

7 - If I asked you to shove a toy surprise up my ass and call me Crackerjack, would you compare and contrast Napoleon's march on Moscow with Ritchie Blackmore's guitar solo on
 Highway Star?

Lime: I'd besmirch the wombat scissors with durian fruit because the metaphysics of Looney Tunes tesselates post-colonial Africa.
VE:  Or I could shove a McDonald's free kids toy up your ass and call you a "Happy Male" and then compare and contrast the Black Plague of the 1300s to strip mall franchise expansions in the USA

8 - Why are you still reading this?

Lime:  It keeps me from picking my nose.
VE:  Because despite how painful it is, work is ALWAYS worse

9 - Do you think it's going to get better?

Lime:  Good Lord, I hope so!
VE:  It's getting better all the time.  I used to get mad at my school (No I can't complain)
The teachers who taught me weren't cool (No I can't complain)
You're holding me down (Oh), turning me round (Oh)
Filling me up with your rules (Foolish rules)
I've got to admit it's getting better (Better)
A little better all the time (It can't get more worse)
......oh, sorry, Beatles digression....what was the question?

10 - Why is a kumquat not entirely unlike a porcupine?

Lime:  Neither makes a good alternative fuel source.
VE:  Because the kumquat just makes this "pthhht" squishy sound when I run it over on the highway with my SUV whereas the porcupine makes a "thumpity" sound as it pierces my tires in its desperate attempt at defending life.  (Don't you animal activists whine to me...what ventures onto the highway is MINE for the killing....muhaha....)

11 - When do you think the world will end?

Lime:  I'm not sure but I wonder about sequels.
VE:  It's already ended.  This is just the 2,340,224th showing at the Orphen Theater on the planet Lunith where the Lunithtoonians re-enact their favorite human tragedies on a small stage right below the movie showing.

And there you have it.  Round 1 which I follow up to Lime's initial answers.  Round 2 will be coming.  I'll post my answers to more questions and then have Lime take on the follow ups on her blog!  Stay tuned...


ReformingGeek said...

Oh nose! There is a part 2?


Subby said...

Effing hi...lar...i...ous! Especially your answers for #'s 4, 7 & 10 LMAO!

Ed said...

reforminggeek - Of course, this is fantastical nonsense at it's core!

subby - Yeah, this caters to my speciality....nonsense

lime said...

i'll be anxious to see your answers to my questions, especially since no one else took a stab.

Ed said...

lime - Oh no...I went with entirely new questions; that way you have less time to "think" about your answers! Hahaha...good Luck!

lime said...

you are under the misconception that i give these sorts of things any kind of thought at all.

Ed said...

lime - I give each question about 20 seconds...