Friday, April 04, 2014

Long Winded about Short Stuff

Recently I dabbled in expanding to Facebook just to see what it was like.  There are many people that maintain blogs, Facebook and Twitter simultaneously.  A few of my old readers are exclusively on Facebook so I thought that was a chance to reach back out to them.  Also, I'm secretly jealous of the wifey-poo who has a friend list bigger than the population of some countries.

But I'd struggled with Facebook before and I continued to do so.  It's just not the forum I like.  I only ended up with a few friends and followers and the format was limiting.

My latest endeavor has been on Twitter.  This was an entirely new world to me lately.  In my real life I actually enjoy it because I get up-to-date info on a number of things I'd have to spend time searching about or just couldn't find.

But comedy through Twitter is a whole different animal.  With only 140 characters, you have to be pretty tight with your humor.  I've done the Steven Wright impersonations on here before and I thought I could adapt.  Turns out I can.  I started with absolutely zero followers and am up of 70 now in the less than two weeks I've been playing with it.  Not bad considering I only had about 7 friends on Facebook and only about 15-20 still read my blog regularly (with only 1-3 commenting anymore).

I'm afraid that Blogging died in 2010 and even more so in 2012.  I left with the ships back then but somehow I came back.  I like the long comedy format.  In the old days, I used to hit the Random button on Blogger just to see where I'd be taken.  There was a lot of variety out there then.  Now it's a graveyard of discarded blogs or it's taken over my religious blogs.  I was astounded how many of them are out there now.


But back to Twitter.  Here's some sampling of my Twitter humor....

With Paul Walker dead, will the movie studios make them change to "The Slow and the Serious"?

There's that sweet spot when you've slowed way down to piss off the tailgating road rager behind you but not slow enough that he shoots you

Why do they place those damn motion sensor towel dispensers right where the bathroom traffic walks by?

I just solved the whole toilet up/down problem in our house...I just pee in the hot tub...

Haven't seen "Young and the Restless" since 1987...oh good...it picks up almost where I left it...

I took all the homeless people out to my suburb for April Fools and said they could each have a home; their hosts would be waiting inside...

Oh come on, who hasn't wished they could turn their car into some kind of transformer tank vehicle and crush that idiot in front of them

In the 1920s they called bank security a "Bank Dick". Talk about an unfortunate career decision. "Yeah, my dad's a professional dick..."

Teaching my kids finance... "Put $100 in the bank and by retirement you'd have $107.42 or buy an obscure toy now then sell on Ebay for $3000

My buddy drinks too much Chocolate Soy Milk. I know this because he just left to clothes shop, get a facial and see about a boob lift.

I can't find Gluten-free Gluten for sale anywhere...

She thought my tears expressed how much i cared for her but really I was just deathly afraid she'd put "Beaches" in the DVD player

Odd. After a long bike ride my dick went temporarily numb and for 15 seconds I felt like a Congressman

I want a car stereo so loud that when I turn it all the way up at a stop light by the time it turns green my car looks like an IKEA purchase

I don't believe in athiests...

We're Lower Class here...we don't have Applebees, we only have the LemonSpider chain of restaurants

What if plants started charging us for oxygen?


8 comments:

ReformingGeek said...

I guess there are still a few enthusiastic bloggers out there. I occasionally post but I have nowhere near the interest I had in 2008 and 2009. I giggle when I read someone described as an aspiring blogger....

I've passed on Twitter. I don't want or need it but I can see how it would be a bit of fun.

I'm giggling from your tweets but I'm glad you're still posting here.

Serena said...

I got rid of my Twitter account because it got hacked so often, and use Facebook mostly to see photos and pass messages to family. I'm glad you're still blogging!

Quirky Quirkster said...

Ha!

Yes, apparently Twitter is your forte.

I gave up on blogging after I did NOT become the next Dooce. Wait is she still even around? Still making 40k a month?

And I have no desire to try and multi-task between FB and a blog. That sounds like an enormous headache and last time I checked?

I don't like headaches.

VE said...

reforming geek - I still enjoy posting but not at the pace I did several years ago...

serena - Sometimes I find something funny and just have to post...

quirky - Yeah, I've lost the drive to be big at all. But it is nice to have a few people read...

I Am Woody said...

Next up - Instagram!

GAB said...

So today instead of just reading and NOT commenting I had to stop and say a few words. 1) I still blog although it may not be as often as I used to and my original blog was deleted so this one looks so new that there are hardly any comments or followers I still write. 2) I am on Face Book and I would be your friend had ya asked me! 3) I have a twitter account but rarely use it. I guess I just don't get it! Twitter that is. I like face book I've found lots of friends from when I was a kid and then from grade school and high school. It's a great way to stay in touch now. And like I said I still blog maybe not as often as I used to but I do.

sprinkle4 said...

I have decided to return to the wonderful world of blogging myself after a couple of years off. Tried tweeting didn't like it and Facebook is cool for pictures of kittens (not to mention seeing how well some of my high school contemporaries have aged:)); however, I just realize I have way too much to say to be confined to a few words at a time.

Okay I'm done now:)

Thanks for blogging while the rest of us have been slacking!

Ed said...

i am woody - Instagram...yep...another one...don't get me started

gab - Twitter is mostly a "look at me" kind of thing in the humor area. I now use it just to get info on things I'm interested in. For example, road bicycling...I can find out what all the racers are doing just by following all of them. I couldn't find all that stuff in the paper or news.

sprinkle4 - That's it! I need more kitten pictures...